Saturday, January 26, 2013

When Talking to Yourself --- Be Nice!

Picture from

I like to think I am a nice person.  I like people.  I do not judge them harshly.  I'm a lot more inclined to make up good excuses for them than to think badly of them.  I notice the good things they do, and can see their potential for good.  So, it was a bit of a shock to realize that I was not extending the same courtesy to myself.

I went through a period of time where I was quite depressed.  I always felt ugly, and not very smart.  I felt like I was bad at everything.  I couldn't figure out how to get out of that slump until I realized that the biggest part of the problem was that I never said anything nice to me.  When I looked in a mirror I pointed out all of my flaws.  When I didn't make dinner, or had a messy house, or didn't exercise, I berated myself.  So, I came up with a plan to break that bad habit.  Every time I realized I had said something negative, I made myself come up with something positive about me to replace it.  This made a big difference.

Once, I walked into my room and saw my usual stack of books and papers by my bed and said, "I'm a mess!"  I immediately realized what I had done and said, "I mean, look at all of the good things that I am working on!"  There is almost always another way to look at things, and if I thought hard enough I could always come up with something positive I could have said instead -- even when looking in the dreaded mirror.

I did this for quite a while.  Sometimes I felt really silly.  Even when talking to myself in my head, it still felt kind of funny to give myself a complement.  One day at church I remember correcting a negative thought and laughing.  I really felt better when I was nice to myself.  That was the last time I remember consciously working on it.  The habit had, at least mostly, been broken.

It is easy to fall back into any bad habit, including this one.  So, it is good for me to be reminded that when I talk to myself I should be nice.  This is true for you to.  When you are talking to yourself, please BE NICE!


LC said...

You are officially gushing with wisdom. Want to share this with women everywhere.

Saimi said...

This is a really good post Sher!

Happy Mom said...

I agree with LC! You are gushing with wisdom!!