Friday, February 22, 2013

Warning Bells: A Dating Story

picture from google images

Once, when I was on a date, the boy said, in a rather commanding voice, "Hold my hand!"  I did not want to hold his hand, and I was uncomfortable.  I didn't know what to do, and perhaps out of fear, or a desire to avoid conflict, I held his hand.  This sent him the unfortunate message that I would allow him to control me.  Foolishly, though this should have been a warning bell, I even went out with him again.  This was a difficult relationship to get out of.  He did not want to let me go.  I believe he thought that if he exerted enough pressure, I would do what he wanted.

So, my advice is simple.  If someone commands you to hold their hand, and you are not about to fall off a cliff, or a tall building, it's okay to say "no thanks", and maybe even to suddenly remember something you have to do at home.  If they command you to do anything, especially if it makes you uncomfortable, then this is a warning bell and it is time to get out.

1 comment:

Michelle said...

Too many woman are afraid of not being liked to protect themselves. I know a woman who let her boss touch her bum because she didn't like confrontaion. It did not end well. God gives us warning bells or red flags because he wants us to be safe. If we ignore them we only put ourselves at risk. Great lesson.