Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Single Mother Specialist

Once when my girls were little I was asked to serve as "Single Mother Specialist".  I accepted the calling because I have been taught that we are called of God and should serve where we are asked, but I sure did not feel qualified!  I am not a single mother, nor have I ever been.  I don't even think I knew any single mothers at the time.  I felt about as far from being a specialist as it is possible to be.

As a part of my responsibility I was to visit teach all of the single mothers in our ward.  One of these ladies came to church regularly and was fairly easy to talk to.  One was sixteen.  She felt that rather than be helpful to her, people had judged her, and treated her unkindly.  The rest were a collection of ladies who didn't know me, weren't interested in coming to church, and weren't excited to hear from me.

For a few months in a row I put off calling these ladies all month long until the end, and I dreaded doing it all month long until the end.  If I never called I felt guilty, and then a new month would begin and I would begin dreading these calls again.  This made for some uncomfortable months!  However, I finally figured out that if I called at the very beginning of the month, I could skip a lot of dread.  It turns out that doing a dreaded task right away instead of putting it off makes for happier days!

I also learned is that I could be helpful just by being kind, and non judgmental.  Nobody wants to be known for the mistakes they've made, or even the hard situation they are in!  They want to be known as a person, who is loved for the good things they do, and the unique person that they are.  I did not know what to do for these ladies, and no doubt I could have loved them better, and helped them more.  I really don't think I ever became a "specialist", however I was thankful to learn from the young girl's mother that I had made a difference to her, and certainly trying to fulfill this calling made a difference to me!

*Picture from http://americansfortruth.com


Saimi said...

Wow Sher, that's so interesting, I've never heard of that calling before - but I know where callings come from so I have no doubt you are a 'specialist' I'm sure you helped those ladies more than you think.

Michelle said...

I visit a single mother and it is so hard to know what to say that will not offend her. We keep at it and try every month to be a blessing. That must have been so hard to never know what to do or say. Good for you for making the effort.