Looking At Lonely

Here is a moment where I could look up with awe at the gift and beauty of creation!

The other day I was stuck in a problem that I wanted fixed and I was about to try to find the "perfect" book on the issue to help solve it.  Then I remembered that I was not going to do frantic searching and study to solve problems anymore.  I can still search, and study, but I am NOT going to panic and be frantic, and looking for a book to buy felt like panic.  I am going to trust that God is aware of my problems and that it is not my job to solve them all alone.  So, instead of looking for just the right book on the topic I was worrying about, I just looked through my Kindle and found a book that I had gotten for free that sounded interesting.  I picked "Choosing REAL" by Bekah Jane Pogue.  I honestly don't remember what the exact problem of the moment was, but her writing has given me a few gifts.  One was about being lonely.

Feeling lonely is a problem I struggle with every now and again.  I have wonderful family and friends but sometimes, when I am feeling down, it is very hard to reach out to anyone.  It is easy to get stuck focusing inward on what isn't; to feel sorry for myself, and like I am forgotten.  In Choosing Real Bekah tells the story of meeting a friend at a favorite restaurant in a corner booth.  They talked and talked and Bekah found herself crying and expressing how lonely she is and how she wished there were more people in her life.  She wanted more friends to come over, more people who called.  She felt like she was prepared for a whole party of people and nobody showed up.  

Her friend listened and then said, "I'm curious if perhaps Jesus wants to first sit with you at a cozy corner booth like this one, and over time will provide the right people in the right seats.  Maybe your dinner party isn't a long banquet table for many but an intimate corner booth for the two of you first."  Bekah suggests that a whole party full of people won't fill us the way being with Jesus can.

I keep thinking about this.  It is like the quiet time that I am trying to take in the morning.  It is time sitting in gratitude for what is around me.  It is time breathing, and being thankful that I can.  It is remembering that I am loved even if I can't feel it in the moment.  It is even sitting and seeing someone else that Jesus loves who maybe I can reach out to that day.  It may be an idea that comes to mind of something I can do to help me!  

Sometimes, if the night was rough, and the morning didn't go smoothly, and maybe I couldn't take the time to sit, I run across those lonely feelings later in the day.  This story reminds me that I don't have to choose one time to sit with Jesus.  I can be met where I am.  I can run to Him, trust Him, and let go of panic, and the need to solve everything myself.  He may even give me the strength to reach out when I really do need somebody.

I hope you will find your metaphorical corner booth, and will get a dose of love, peace, and hope.