Where Was I Focusing Again?

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

This year my word is LOVE and I had to narrow down what I wanted to work on so that it wouldn't be too ridiculously hard to accomplish or measure.  One of the things I am trying to do is to value and take care of this body that God gave me.  I have done, if I do say so myself, excellently at getting myself to exercise 6 days a week.  Not hard exercise every day -- I have to start slowly so as not to hurt myself, but a half hour every day.  I have done well, but for the last couple of weeks it has all of a sudden become hard.  I was focusing too much on checking the boxes six times, and on the awesome look and feel of being "in shape" that I was hoping for, but wasn't feeling.  Boo.

The only way I kept going on the treadmill last time was, first I am stubborn, and second I was listening to Atomic Habits which was talking about focusing on processes, not outcomes.  The goal is not a certain end result, but the process of improvement.  It reminded me to focus on the why and the how, and not the result I can't see.  I also got a reminder that the focus of our lives is more important to our happiness than our circumstances (thank you President Nelson!).

I was looking forward to today.  It was my review, adjust, and plan day when I look back on the month and see if there are things I need to adjust, delete, or just schedule better.  Unfortunately, I woke up with a surprise killer headache.  I have had a pretty good day anyhow, and I accomplished what I wanted to (mostly:).  Another reminder I have gotten recently is to pay more attention to the direction I am headed than the speed.  Progress is progress no matter how small!  

Now, back to focusing on love!

Transformation

I got this gear looking piece of wood at D.I. sometime last year.
It has now been transformed into an Elk wall hanging.  A heavy one.
Now, where to put it?

I'm a big fan of transformation from dirty to clean, cluttered to clear, messy to organized, and old to looking new again.  So, for my viewing enjoyment I've been watching my favorite television friends reclaiming old houses, and using old things they find to make new things.  These are the shows that inspired me to do more thrift shopping, and to revive some old furniture and turn it into things we use in our house.  The best thing?  I find myself smiling as I watch couples working together, and transformations being made.  I do love to find myself unexpectedly smiling!

Perfectly Loved

Perfectly Loved -- even though my hand or fingers are in a Lot of the pictures I take!

This past little while I've been experiencing something I don't remember ever experiencing before.  Morning alarm rage.  My alarm goes off and I want to throw it across the room, especially when I can't seem to get it to stop.  One morning I started yelling at Alexa to stop.  I think I told her four times in increasingly grumpy tones before I remembered that my phone is my alarm, and she has no control over it.  Last night I turned the alarm off and so this morning I woke up a bit late, but a lot less angry:-).

Even when I wake up without being angry, I often just don't feel like getting up and so I have turned to my friend -- music.  Either when I wake up unready for the day, or feel sad, or just discouraged, I ask Alexa to play "Perfectly Loved" by Rachael Lampa.  Some songs are gifts for the moments I am in need.  Right now this is the song that has helped me get going. Here are some of my favorite lyrics:

In the hands of the Infinite
As the wounds of the world became His
See the kindness Heaven has for you
And how He's always been drawing you in

So many open doors (so many open doors), so many miracles (so many)
That have followed you all of your life
Looking for the truth (looking for the truth), look into your eyes (oh)
And you'll see its been there the whole time

Ooh, even when you were running
Even when you were hiding
Never been a moment that you were not perfectly loved
When you barely believed it
When your eyes couldn't see it
Every single moment you've always been perfectly loved

I have believed in God my whole life and I know that I am loved as a child of God, but sometimes I just need to hear it over and over.  It's easy to see how He could love young innocent me singing Primary songs out loud on my way home from elementary school, or as a teenager trying so hard not to be "typical" and "rebellious".  I can even see Heavenly Father smiling at the freedom I felt during my first couple of years of college, knowing of my strong desire to please my parents, and the relief of being too far away to be seen.  I still tried to choose the right, I guess I just worried less?  

Honestly, I can see that I am still so much of a child now compared to God that He can still smile at my attempts to control things that aren't mine to control, or my desire to please everyone while still managing to choose the right, stand up for truth, and never make mistakes.  He can see that I am learning, even when I am learning at a much slower rate than I want to!  He can see that I am trying, even when I am tired and worn out.  He can see that I love people, even when I am a bit unsure how to love them perfectly.  Everyone is perfectly loved, not just me, and this is a wonderful thing to remember.

I can't handle everything, but God really doesn't expect me to.  Every moment He is loving me, and you, and is hoping we will do our best to love Him and each other to the best of our ability.  He's okay with the fact that we will mess up and need to try again, and when I can remember this, it is a great relief and helps me smile and keep going.  There is comfort in being perfectly loved!

Hidden Things: Thoughts From The Fog

This morning I woke up, opened my curtains and saw fog.  I actually love the fog when I'm not having to drive in it.  It's like an amazing magic trick.  I know there is a mountain out my window, but I can't see it at all!  I know there is a valley down below and a road going up into the canyon, but I can't see it!  God created the wonderful view out my window, and now He is hiding it -- just for a while.  There are beautiful things hiding in the fog!

There is an entire mountain hidden in this fog!

Out these windows we can usually see a house that has not been well kept in a while and whose deck always looks like it might fall over at any moment.

There are also not so beautiful things hidden in the fog.  I might miss seeing the mountain if the fog stayed for a long time, but I would probably not miss the view of the unstable deck!  

And finally, the view that is usually the mountain seen from the inside.
The Christmas lights that go up the stairs are reflected in the window and
the view of the nativity stands out more than usual.

The fog gives us a different perspective and has us focusing on different things than usual.  Life's experiences are like this too.  Some experiences seem to hide God from our view and we have to remember past times when we have seen evidence of Him to keep believing.  Some experiences may hide the bad things from us, things which are seemingly great in the moment, but which turn out to be a rickety staircases ready to drop us to the ground far below.  Finally, some experiences help us see God more clearly, or reflections of His light, keeping us going when things are hard and He seems hidden.

I'm sure there are lots of analogies I could make up from the fog, but today I choose to enjoy the miracle that can be seen when the mountain is hidden.

Pictures? Priceless!

 

Brigham at church yesterday.  So stylish!

Mike was sworn in as a police officer in Ann Arbor a while back!
We are proud of his good work!  He is second from the right.

This is Jake and Trisa playing a game from my childhood.  Funnybones.
It is obviously funny!

Trisa and Kayli playing the same thing.

Connor and his stack of Christmas books!

Trisa, Kayli, Teddy and Jake on Christmas morning.

The picture is a bit too shadowy to see that Jake is holding a mini Darth Vader.

And Derek is holding its larger twin.
Naturally, a "light saber" battle followed.

Brigham, Tia, and Mike in their Christmas Eve shirts in their house in Michigan.

The rest of us -- not in Michigan -- in our Christmas Eve shirts.

Ditto.  We are fans of The Chosen so that is the kind of shirt we got this year.
Back Row:  Connor, Amanda, Dan, Derek, and Sherie
Front Row:  Kayli, Teddy, Trisa, and Jake

Stories To Help Us On Our Way

 

Photo by Susan Q Yin on Unsplash
Libraries, book stores, and shelves full of books can be a little bit of heaven for me!

When I was young my Mom used to read to us.  She read us bedtime stories, sometimes getting so tired of them that they would go "missing" for a while.  How many times can you read The Pokey Little Puppy before it goes missing at your house? My Mom read us fairy tales, scripture stories, and books too. She read at dinner, at home and in the car.  She read Where The Red Fern Grows (cue lots of crying), and The Unwilling Pirate.  (I found that one at a used book sale and read it to some of my children and discovered that it is really, really hard to speak pirate!)

We had stories we could listen to on records and tapes.  My cousins had dramatized scripture stories and the summer we stayed at Uncle H.D.'s house I think I listened to the story of Joseph being sold into Egypt several times.  It was my favorite.  My cousin David and my now brother-in-law Chris could be begged into reading my cousin Julie and I stories some Sunday afternoons, and my Uncle H.D. liked to tell stories that were of the "tall tale" variety and were lots of fun.  Stories are awesome!

In listening to and reading stories I have traveled to places I may never get to go, "lived" in times both past and future, and met both villains and heroes along the way.  I've learned history from the eyes of people who lived during those times, and in some small way I have lived their stories along with them.  I have met people I want to be like, and people I absolutely despise.  I have experienced people being treated in awful ways, and others being treated with a rather amazing grace.  

If you can't tell by now, I am a big fan of stories.  I actually started out with the idea of writing about the heroes I have found in stories, but it turns out that today I have spent more time talking about the heroes like my Mom who have helped me to hear and love stories, and as I have heard, read, and seen stories told, they have helped me on my way.

I Knew We'd Work It Out

 

Sherie (Me) and Mike
Taken by Connor Fall 2023

Original by Grant Wood

My fun Christmas puzzle from Connor and Amanda

I just added the pictures for fun because I like them :-) -- not because they have anything to do with what I wrote!

A Moment in my day:

Today I bought a couple of bags worth of things at D.I..  They were in two white bags and I was heading to the door.  I saw an older gentleman walk in and have to immediately step around some people.  When he finally got past them, looking a little frustrated, I ended up stepping right in his way to allow someone to take my cart.  Honestly, I thought he would say something grumpy, and I quickly apologized, but he just got a small smile on his face and said, "I knew we'd work it out!".

Why tell this story?

Well, quite frankly, even when we are frustrated with someone, or a situation we are in, I think it would be nice if we could remember to smile and say, "I know we'll work it out!"  Somehow I think that would just make hard moments more hopeful, and then we can end with, "I knew we'd work it out!"

The Love of Letters

Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash

I needed a book to listen to on my way home from Idaho today and I found The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society which I had never heard of, but which my sister said she had enjoyed.  It is, at least so far, completely made up of letters written back and forth between various people.  As I listened, I started to miss letters!  I was always a letter writer.  I might still have letters from my childhood friend Dawnae, and my high school friend Joan, among others.  I wrote to friends from all of the places we lived, to grandparents, and to missionaries.  Derek and I even wrote each other letters right before we got married.  I loved writing mail, but I loved getting mail even more!

After a while email mostly took the place of writing on paper, but that was fun too.  I think my first regular correspondent via email was my cousin David, and I still feel honored that he chose to communicate with me.  I emailed relatives and friends alike and loved hearing from people in return.

Now letters in the mail, or even via email, are a lot fewer and farther between.  People communicate through social media sites and texts.  Very occasionally phone calls are made, or in person visits actually happen.  As I listened to the book on the way home I missed getting to know people through letters, or keeping up with them that way!

For years I did really well at keeping track of a lot of people through Christmas letters once a year.  I have failed at that the last few years, though I have enjoyed every one I've received!  I'm starting to think I should find a pen pal to write letters to, just for the sake of getting to know someone through the written word!  

People used to fall in love through letters and I think we are missing something because communication is so different now.  We can keep track of a lot of people without really knowing much about what is really going on in their lives.  In some ways the new methods of communication are awesome and instantaneous, but I also think they are often more shallow and less personal.  Not everyone liked or likes writing letters, but I have a love of letters and I miss them!

To Go, Or Not to Go

Dan and Caleb.  The "twin" cousins.  Dan will let you know that he is 5 hours older!

Dan's "twin" cousin Caleb invited him to come to Idaho one of the first couple of weekends in January and I chose this one.  Naturally, our less than wintery winter decided to start dropping lots of snow on the state right before the weekend, so I didn't decide what to do until this morning.  Dan was really, really looking forward to seeing his cousin, and Caleb had already made plans, and I knew they would both be really disappointed if we couldn't make it work.  I decided we could likely make it safely and so we got ready and left, hoping to get to Rexburg without running into any major storms.

The good news?  We are here!  We did see 7 accidents but 4 were on the other side of the road, none included injuries, and we did well following a train of trucks and cars at 40 miles an hour down the freeway in Idaho for an hour or so.  Most of the trip was pretty clear.  

I am so thankful that Dan has a "twin" cousin who is his friend and that they can have time together.  Dan gets a little lonely, and it is great that they have a chance to visit and have a bit of fun.  Depression is a real thing, and depression in winter can be worse.  The love of a good extended family can make a big difference for good!

I had Dan take a picture at one of the sketchiest parts of our drive.
We followed that semi for quite a while and I was glad it was
breaking the way and was easy to see!

Driving, Nature, and Wabi Sabi

This is a picture from November.  The trees aren't covered with
the beautiful white at the moment, but there is quite a bit of snow around!

 Today there was weather to deal with, especially in the morning.  The snow created a situation that had me being a chauffeur a little more than I had planned.  Thankfully there were also moments when I could pull out my Kindle and read about Wabi Sabi, which is a philosophy tied to Japan that is apparently very difficult to explain.  I will share a couple of quotes with you about nature that I like from the book, and how nature is good for us to spend time in (though maybe not driving a car).

"The forest does not care what your hair looks like.  The mountains don't move for any job title.  The rivers keep running, regardless of your social media following, your salary, or your popularity.  The flowers keep on blooming, whether or not you make mistakes.  Nature just is, and welcomes you, just as you are."  Wabi Sabi by Beth Kempton (pg. 64)

In other words, if we need a place where we can be ourselves without feeling judged, nature is a good place for us to be. 

"Nature is the home of miracles.  Complex growth, stories of resilience, ephemeral beauty emerging and evaporating.  When we take the time to stop and look, each one of these gifts reminds us to pay attention to the fleeting beauty of our own lives."  Wabi Sabi by Beth Kempton ( pg 81)

 It would be good if we could all realize that, no matter our circumstances, there is beauty in our own lives.  In the things we say and do, and in just being a child of the great Creator -- God!

 

Beauty in the Everyday

 

Photo by Jongsun Lee on Unsplash

I have a clear case on my phone so that I can change out the picture under the case every now and then.  I tend to get tired of having the same picture all of the time.  While looking through magazines for pictures to use, I also look for words I might want to put with the picture.  One of my favorite pictures was a yellow bird with a green background.  It was not the same as above, but it was close enough.  With it, I found the words "Beauty in the everyday".  I kept that picture for months and never really got tired of it, but decided to switch pictures with the season.  I had pumpkins next, but I really loved the words, and so I kept them.

As Fall ended and Winter came, I changed my picture again, and the words were getting worn out and so they aren't on my phone anymore, but I still love them.  There IS beauty in every day.  Some days, maybe depending on our mood or what is happening in our lives, it is just harder for us to see.  Some of the beauty that I enjoy includes birds, clouds, trees, animals, smiles, laughter, kindness, music, and even food.  If I don't find new words that I love to add to my next phone case picture, I am tempted to print out "Beauty in the Everyday" again because it is a good reminder to look around and see the beauty that is there to be found if I look.

Being Brave When We Feel Alone

Photo by Michael Dziedzic on Unsplash

When you feel alone, and sad, please know that there
are people who love you and have the courage to reach out
to them for help!

I know people who feel alone, and who do not feel like people really know or understand them.  I have occasionally been that person.  Sometimes there has been the miraculous gift of someone showing up at the right time -- either on the phone, or in person, or even in text.  Other times I, or others, cry alone and wonder why we can't feel the love of God now, when we are sure He is there.  

These are hard times.  Living through them can make us more compassionate to others' pain, and hopefully help us learn to listen better.  But how can we get out of these ruts?  My counselor has talked about a "state change".  This would be going somewhere else, tasting something sour or spicy, doing an activity that keeps the mind away from the negative spiral.  But sometimes, the thing that works, is being brave and calling someone.

I have, admittedly, rarely done this myself!  It requires a scary amount of vulnerability.  We like people to see us as put together, strong, and happy, but I don't think anyone is always that way!  And so fairly recently I actually reached out when I was really sad --  twice!  I called my sister Tina and hopefully didn't alarm her too much by crying at her.  She listened, and talked through my worries with me, and assured me that I could call any time.  She helped me feel understood , loved and hopeful.  What a gift to me!

I believe that there are a LOT of people who would really be happy to hear our real stresses and worries, if only we could be brave enough to reach out.  I've found that if I can't call, sometimes texts help me too.  And if we are not feeling brave enough, I do know that Heavenly Father is never too tired to listen, and if we can calm ourselves enough, we may be able to feel a bit of His love surrounding us, and holding us close.

Beautiful Eyes

Sherie, Shannon and Wilx
Shannon has "beautiful eyes" as 
described in the story!

Yesterday I listened to a story called "The Richest Gift" from The Mother's Heart / Libraries of Hope.  In this story a baby boy was given the gift of beautiful eyes.  This was not about how his eyes looked, but his ability to see the good in all of those around him, and to recognize their gifts.  He used that gift throughout his life to lift the spirits of those around him and to help match talents to work needed in the kingdom.  Naturally, at the end of the story when the old king died, Beautiful Eyes was made king because he was trusted and loved by all.

This story reminded me of what a gift it is when people see the good in us, especially in moments when we can't see that good in ourselves.  This is a great way to show love!  I have been blessed with a mother and a mother-in-law who are good at encouraging me to write, and sometimes that is what keeps me going.  When I was practicing the flute with the choir before our performance, I noticed every little flaw in what I did, but the choir members were all so pleased, and when I looked doubtful at a friend's complement she assured me that, though I didn't look like I believed her, she was telling me the truth.

I am so thankful for those who have used their own "beautiful eyes" to help me see myself in a better light and who have been champion encouragers!

Love, A Word For Every Moment

Photo by Luana Azevedo on Unsplash

Not so long ago I was at the library for the second time of the day.  It was near dinner time and I was waiting for our van to get new tires.  The day had been good, but I was tired and wasn't having an easy time finding interest in anything.  I believe that we can talk to Heavenly Father any time, and I asked Him to guide me to a book that would be helpful to me.  I found "The Joy In Loving: A Guide to Daily Living With Mother Teresa".  It was a brief history of her life and 365 quotes from her teachings.  I found it so inspiring!  

Mother Teresa (Saint Teresa of Calcutta) was a little woman, from a small family, who learned about loving others in various ways including the example of her Mother.  She decided at age 12 to give her life to Jesus and at age 18 left her home to become a postulate in Italy in preparation to becoming a nun.  She made an incredible impact on the world through love.  Love as an action, and a choice.  She treated everyone as if they were Jesus in need.  It was hard.  She saw horrible things and sometimes wondered if God cared, but she chose to keep believing that He did and to keep loving.

I do not expect to become the new Mother Teresa, but this year the word I choose to ponder, and practice is love.  It is an ambitious choice as every goal I've ever had would fit under this heading!  I intend to bring any readers along to see what I am pondering, doing, learning, and experiencing.  I have a poetry blog called Poetry That Sings that I will be working on every other day, and Sunday will be a day to rest in the knowledge that Heavenly Father and Jesus love me, no matter how imperfect my offering!

Love is my word of the year, but truly it is always a word to ponder, and act on, every moment we can.