The Problem With Audio Books

Lately I get double vision if I read for very long.  One hour.  Two at most.  It's very annoying and takes a while to go away, and yet still I resist audio books. And then I accidentally checked one out from "Libby", the online library app.  I checked out "Make Something Good Today" by Erin and Ben Napier.  I have enjoyed listening to them read the book they wrote in their southern "twang", reminiscent of my Kentucky relatives.  I enjoy hearing them talk about their Mamaws and Papaws, and the descriptions that make me think of all that is happy about home.  I also heard a quote or two I like.

The problem with audio books?  I'd have to sit there with a pencil and paper and catch the quotes because I can't flip back through the pages and find them!  The one I heard today went something like this, "God gives us challenges to elevate us, not problems to drag us down."  Even though challenges may elevate us -- eventually -- I believe it is quite normal to first be knocked down by them a bit.  We need faith in Christ and the extra strength gained from getting back up to reach that elevation!

I still prefer reading to audio books, until I reach the point where I have a splitting headache because I'm trying to focus through the blur to find out what happens next!  Then I remember that I might have been better off using my ears to "read".

Enjoying The Rain

I was at the pharmacy once when one of the workers said, "When it rains it pours?" because I'd been in more than once on the same day and they knew about a couple of things that "hit" our family all at once.  I smiled and said something like, "Yes!  It's been raining a lot at our house lately, but we keep on smiling!"  And at least at that moment it was true.  I felt happy.  Hard things happen, but good things are learned, or strength is gained, or support is given, and not everything hard is bad.  Besides, there are more good things than not.  "Rain" can be beautiful even if we were hoping for sunshine.  And rain is necessary for growth.

Some days, admittedly, things happen and it feels more like baseball sized hail stones than rain, but if we don't give up on finding the good in things then eventually that sun is going to come out.

Photo by michael podger on Unsplash

Mike and The Police Academy

Mike started attending the Police Academy in January.  He should finish in April (I think).  He is really happy to have the chance to become a policeman.  I am happy that there are people who want to be policemen! 

Inviting God Into Our Days

Photo by Milos Tonchevski on Unsplash

Sunday in Primary our music leader asked the children if they could think of some ways of inviting God into their day.  I really like that thought.  Remembering to talk to Him was one of the things to do, and singing "church" songs was another -- though I think any beautiful, worshipful, or joyful song could work.  I think another way to invite Him is to take time to be appreciative of what we have, and share those things, or our time, with others.  I really like the thought that we can invite God into our days and have Him walk with us, talk with us, guide us, comfort us, and feel joy with us.  There is no better or wiser companion that we could have!

Dan Becomes A Teacher

Kayli, Grandpa C., Grandma C., Mike, Tia, Jake (behind Tia), Derek in the back,
me in front of Derek, and Dan in front of me.

Dan, our youngest son, will be 14 in August (even though he got asked today if he was 11).  Jake got asked if he was a deacon (12 or 13 years old).  He'll be 18 in a couple of weeks.  

Dan was ordained a teacher today in the Aaronic Priesthood.  Dan has a lot of challenges, but he also is very smart and has a lot of talents.  He loves his family and we love him and are proud of how he works hard to be good and kind.  He likes to listen to religious talks when he goes to bed, and remembers a LOT of information that he hears and reads and watches.  

The picture was taken by our Bishop.

Recognizing Limits and Wishing I Didn't Have Any!

Today maybe I should spend more time imitating Teddy in this picture and less frantically working.

The other day I was thankful that I recognized that I couldn't do all of the things that I really wanted to.  This morning I had all of those happy, "I can do almost anything" feelings even though I have a cold and don't have much energy.  I do recognize that I have limits, but I sure wish I could just do the whole list of things I want to without any problems!  The good news?  Derek has volunteered himself and Jake to be my helpers, so maybe I'll get quite a bit more done than I would otherwise!

Accepting What Is -- With Gratitude

There are times when I, and everyone else, just doesn't like how things are in some way.  Maybe we don't like what we look like, or our physical limitations, or our job, or where we live, or the way we are treated.  How do we handle those things with gratitude when we don't want them to be how they are?  Will having gratitude mean we have settled?  Given up?  Well, here's a thought.  What if gratitude is the first step to change?  What if things will never be different (in a good way) without a little gratitude?  

For example.  If I look in the mirror every day and point out every flaw, and really dislike what I see, am I going to treat myself well?  Will I take care of this person I don't like?  It seems more likely that if I look in the mirror and see all that my body has done and can do, all of the hard things it has gotten me through, and am thankful, I will want to take care of the person in the mirror the best I can, and not treat myself carelessly.

Then there are physical limitations.  I've talked before about my slow hiking and how I cry over it.  But if I instead focus on the fact that I am out in nature, with people I love, and that I can move and breath (even if it is in gasps)  I would be more likely to have a little compassion on myself and let go of the frustration that things are not different.  Then I might hike more often -- and actually get faster!

There are things that just won't change.  Dan's allergies have only ever changed for the worse, but he has impressed me with his ability (most of the time) to be grateful about the things he can eat.  Only when I accepted his allergies, was I able to let go of my feelings of resistance and frustration and find gratitude in the information that is out there to help.

I believe that accepting what is with gratitude is the catalyst for change, either in the situation, or in the way we deal with it.  When we stop wasting energy wishing things were different, and accept what is, we can use the energy we've been wasting to move forward.

Photo by Freshh Connection on Unsplash

Thankfully Recognizing My Limits

This morning when I woke up and dragged myself out to join the family, I found a bit of chaos and panic.  Dan had belatedly remembered that he had a paper that need to be signed, but he couldn't find his folder.  He was convinced his teacher would make him run until he threw up if he didn't bring that paper to gym class today.  He missed the bus, but Jake drives anyway and so once the paper was found and signed, and Jake's papers were signed (last minute Mom homework) they went off to school, and Derek got ready and headed to work.

That left me here with the burst of energy that comes from running around in a hurry in the morning.  I started enthusiastically thinking of all I could do today.  I could clean out my cedar chest, the office closet, the desk, and this big messy room.  I could get the storage room in shape so there aren't so many things to trip on lying on the floor.  I could write, and study!  I could do the Walmart shopping!  It all sounded great, and I am thankful for times of enthusiasm and "I can accomplish anything!" type moments.  I am also thankful that I did realize that I really could not do all of that in one day.  At least not without doing a poor job, exhausting myself, and breaking all of the "don't do too much" instructions from the physical therapist.

I am thankful that I actually kind of like doing all of the things listed above.  I am thankful I have a house, and things to organize and clean.  I am also thankful I don't have to accomplish all of that in one day and that, in spite of all of these things I could do, people are still the priority.

*Photo by Jessica Lewis on Unsplash

The Extended Adventure

This year I asked Derek if we could extend our car show adventure and stay in Salt Lake overnight and walk around temple square on Saturday before heading home.  I thought we needed a break, and I also thought it turned out well.

We went to Chili's for dinner and I found a sandwich that was delicious while Derek enjoyed some ribs.  Saturday we had breakfast at the hotel and discovered that instead of waffle makers, they had pancake making machines.  Naturally, we had pancakes so we could watch it work!  There were eggs and sausage and gravy and biscuits too.  Then we checked out of the hotel, put our stuff in the car, and went walking.  Our first stop was The Church History Library where we watched a short film on what is done there and had a little tour.  Next we went to The Conference Center, which is huge.  We even got to go outside on the roof / gardens.  It's been a lot of years since we've been up on top of the building and the trees have grown since then.

I wanted a picture by the giant statue of Joseph Smith to send to my parents.  We had just finished lunch in the Nauvoo Cafe that you can see in the background.  I had turkey pot pie.  Derek had a triple cheese grilled cheese with bacon on it.  I couldn't eat all of my pot pie and so Derek decided to try it.  He doesn't usually like turkey pot pie, but he liked this one!  He knew it had some spice in it besides just pepper that he liked but he wasn't sure what it was.

We headed upstairs (This was in the Joseph Smith Building) and found another nice lady to give us some information.  As we were headed in to see the chapel she suggested that if we hadn't eaten we should have the turkey pot pie because it had sage in it and is really good.  Wasn't that nice of her to answer our question without being asked? 
Above you can see the organ.  The ebony and ivory is reversed!  

I wanted a picture with all of the Joseph statues so I ran back to get a selfie with this one.  He's holding an axe, but you can't see it because I was standing too close.

We walked by temple square and saw that they had started taking out the south visitors center, and we walked in to Deseret Book which has been totally changed since we went with the kids last year!  There was an entire Crumble Cookie shop inside!

On the way to the car we walked through City Creek Mall including walking through the bridge that crosses the street and gives a great view for a long ways!  It was really nice to get away for a while and just enjoy walking around.  It was also nice to come home.

The Annual Trip To The Car Show

Derek and Me heading to the car show.

I love the person sitting in this car, but the car isn't my favorite color for a car.

I liked the blue suede on the seats.

This is the way to camp if you don't have a hotel or a camper.

I liked this car and was surprised how well my hair matched the roof.
I'm always surprised that my hair is white.

This is a picture Derek took for my Dad.  A Ford Mustang and me.

The green jeep got turned into a snowmobile!

A whole line of jeep-like vehicles.

I'm pretty sure Derek would never pick a purple car, but I wanted to send Kayli a picture of her favorite Papa and a car that is one of her favorite colors!

Derek is in the back seat when I took this picture.  This is a jeep truck.
You can take off the roof and probably the doors.

Here is a blast from the past -- or is it the future?

And finally the BMW Z4 that we took a picture of because we remembered that my sister
Jenny likes these cars.

Many Severely Wounded -- Love Needed

Everyone has hard things.  Everyone.  Some things can be obvious.  It's hard to hide crutches when you're using them!  A lot of things are not obvious.  Some wounds are so deep and hidden that maybe nobody knows about them except the person who is hurting.

I know such good people, and occasionally I know them well enough to see them walking around with a smile on their face giving good cheer and help to everyone they can while, inside, they feel broken.  Some people have heard hurtful words that seem trapped inside and impossible to kick out.  Some people have been treated as unimportant, or less than, until they are sure it's true.  There are those who feel like failures when their marriage or family breaks -- even though they tried with everything they had to make it work.  I've even had my own moments when I felt broken and fragile, but didn't know why.  My life is good!  Even misplaced guilt can be a big wound!

So, today and every day, instead of looking at someone and pointing out to them all of the ways I can see that they are wounded, I would like to be one who looks at them and sees all the ways they are wonderful and hold up a mirror to those things.  I want to love and care and walk beside and lift up.  I was just chatting with a friend who is so encouraging to me!  It makes such a difference!  We can use our best inner wound first aid -- healing through love.

Photo by Leighann Blackwood on Unsplash

The Health Team

I was talking to my sister Tina yesterday and commented about having a whole team of doctors that I've gone to in the last couple of years.  I think that anyone who has this many people helping with their health should feel great!  I do feel great!  At least right now.  Just for the record, I thought I would try to list as many kinds of medical professionals who have been on my health team the last couple of years as I can.

1.  My main "Dr." who is really the best nurse practitioner ever.
2.  Radiologists -- those who do mammograms, x-rays, and MRIs and the doctors who read them.
3.  2 surgeons (one for a lumpectomy and one for a hysterectomy)
4.  Radiation Oncologist and his nice minions who actually do the radiation treatments.
5.  Medical Oncologist
6.  Allergist
7.  Sports Doctor
8.  2 physical therapists
9.  Another nurse practitioner
10.  A couple of physician assistants.
11.  Lots of Medical Assistants and nurses -- including the medical oncologist's nurse who I see more often than I see him.
12.  Pharmacists (shout out to my favorite Mountain View Pharmacy where I'm often greeted by name).
13.  Phlebotomists.  I feel like there has been a whole herd of these -- kind of like nice vampires who always say "A little poke" and then proceeding to stab me with a needle that feels like a sharp straw, root around for a while, and ask if I'm ok.  I just moan a yes.  Some phlebotomists actually do give a little poke that doesn't hurt much.  Some -- let's just say I might run if I saw them coming at me with a needle again.
14.  Chiropractor
15.  Optometrist
16.  Cardiologist

I think that's all, and it doesn't count the ones I've gone to with my children because those are their health team.  The interesting thing to me is that, for as many doctors as I have, I'm pretty sure there are people out there who have more!  I wish them only the super talented phlebotomists and the most kind and concerned nurses and doctors!  I am thankful for mine who have done a good job of being concerned, interested, caring and helpful.

Photo by Luis Melendez on Unsplash

Moments of Happy

Silly me with elephant on my way to St. George

Yesterday, as I drove home from physical therapy, I had one of those moments I love.  A moment of happy.  A moment of gratitude.  I love Utah.  I love the mountains.  I love it when the sun is shining and the air looks clear.  I love my family.  I have awesome friends.  It was one of those moments that was perfect just because I was feeling grateful.

Later, when I arrived from grocery shopping I was happy that Dan came out, without being asked, and helped unload the groceries. 

In the evening I had more moments of happy.  Happy that Derek got to come home on time.  Happy that I had this whole day to not use crutches once and could carry things without having to hop -- or put them in a bag.  Happy that I could begin the switch from Christmas decorations to winter decorations.  Happy that Jake hopped up and down off of the bar to get things off the cabinets so I didn't have to.  Happy that when we were tired of it we could stop and do a seemingly impossible puzzle -- and finish it!  YAY!

The almost impossible puzzle (I'm not sure why it was so hard -- but it was)
It's a crooked picture because I didn't bother to stand up when I took it :-)

I hope that in every single day you will have at least one moment that you can think of as a moment of happy!