Noticing Good. Sharing Good.

Did I just pick a random picture to go with this post?  Yes.  Yes I did.  This is Dan and Me up in the mountains -- maybe on a Sunday.

Have you ever had someone tell you that you are good at something?  Or that you have a gift for something?  Maybe they mention a characteristic you have when they are trying to find you and can't remember your name.  It is really nice to have someone say what they see that we are good at!  I was reading about this in a book this morning, and it reminded me of a couple of things.

Once, I went to visit my Aunt and Uncle from Missouri when they were staying in Orem.  I was telling my Uncle H.D. about how much it had meant to me when a couple of his kids, David and Danny, would come and visit me in college. David would take me for rides on his motorcycle.  He taught me to lean with the curves and I got to go shoe shopping with him so I could hold the shoes on the way back to Provo.  Even before college they would both would ask me to dance at stake dances and they were tall and handsome and I was short, and somewhat insecure.  What a difference they made to me!  My Uncle then said, basically, "You are good at noticing and remembering the good in people."  I have remembered that for years. I loved, admired and respected my Uncle (and still do even though he has passed on) and it meant a lot to me that he thought I was good at that.  It made me want to be even better at it!  

Another time I was at a large Christensen gathering for a family event.  Maybe a baptism or a blessing of a niece or nephew and so there were people there that I didn't know as well.  When one of them was leaving they asked "Where is the person with the big smile?"  It turns out they were looking for me, to say goodbye!  That was such a thoughtful thing to do, and such a nice way to look for me, and it was a blessing!  My smile has not always been something I have been confident in.  Even though I had braces I still have large front teeth with a little gap between them, and really, when I smile you see gums more than teeth.  How nice for me that when I get insecure I often think back to this nice person who was looking for the "person with the big smile!"  It makes me feel less self conscious, and more willing to share that big smile and hope it makes a difference to someone.

I love people who not only notice good things, but share them!  I want to be like that all of the time!

Forget Your Perfect Offering

 "Forget your perfect offering -- there's a crack in everything -- that's how the light gets in."

From Anthem by Leonard Cohen

Have you ever tried to do something for someone and had it not work out like you wanted?  I made dinner for neighbors once and it would not get done.  The rice would not stop being crunchy.  It took forever, was late, and then probably wasn't very good.  It was far from a perfect offering.  It was probably a good thing that I think someone else ended up taking dinner the same day.  So, was my effort wasted?  It was frustrating for sure, but I hope, even though the food was far from what I had intended, the light of love showed up with the food because of the effort.

Sometimes we just really, really want things to be perfect.   We want to help someone, but we want to help them with food that is tasty (And hello!  Nothing wrong with that one!).  We want to say exactly the right thing, or give exactly the right gift!  It's okay to want to do those things, and sometimes we will pull it off, but I know from experience that it's easy to not give things, or say words, or show up at all because we know it won't be perfect, and in hesitating, we are blocking the light that would otherwise have shown up with our imperfect offering!  

This is just a thought I hope to keep in mind to help me avoid hesitation when I want to do good, but am afraid.

***Photo by Joe Gardner on Unsplash

I Love You Because...

I love you is good to hear, but I love you because (insert nice thing here) is more specific and personal.  I love all of you for reading my blog.  I might love you for a lot of other reasons too, but today, I thank you for reading what I have to say, because it makes me feel useful, and maybe even a little important!

This has nothing to do with the post -- but a lot of the wood has arrived for our house!  Yay for progress!

Naturally Derek is wearing shorts -- January is close to spring right?  This is taken from the North side of the house.  Once the floors are poured the framing can start (I think).

My Adventures With A Prayer Journal

I have liked the idea of a prayer journal for a long time, but haven't ever felt like I used mine successfully.  I occasionally write prayers in it, which can be useful, but writing down what I need to pray about hasn't helped as I don't remember to refer to it.  Finally, as I contemplated how I could better communicate with Heavenly Father in the morning when I feel like I'm semi-incoherent, sometimes fall asleep, and rarely wake up grateful, I took to researching routines and prayer journals and I came up with a plan to try.  I'm on day two so you can just realize that I don't exactly have a long history of success!  Two days is better than zero though, and some good conversations with my sisters have helped me come up with things I want to find a way to add.

So first, I had to give in and set my alarm for earlier.  No!  Don't stop reading now!  Maybe you wouldn't have to do that!  I just could not figure out another reliable way to get some undistracted, uninterrupted minutes.  Second, I started trying to find a good wake up song.  My sisters helped me find some good songs, and I know some, but my mood isn't always the same and so the last two days I've just asked our Alexa to play hymns that came to mind.  I've found good versions of a couple of hymns I love that way!

Finally, out come the scriptures and the journal.  The idea I got from Pinterest (yes, I'm still a fan), was to:

1.  Start by writing 5 things to praise God for along with the scripture references.  This is a good exercise as it reminds me that God is smarter, stronger, more powerful, and more loving than me and that He cares about His creations.  

2.  I am to list five things I am thankful for from the day before.  This morning was one of those nice days when more things kept coming to mind -- so I didn't stick to 5 and could have written more.  

3.  I am to confess.  The person on Pinterest said to be specific.  Not just confessing gluttony for example, but "I ate 5 pieces of cake" or whatever the real thing was.  She said to confess 5 things too I think, but I just try to contemplate anything I might need to confess from the day before.

4.  Repent.  The idea here is to look at the things I confessed (or you because, no offense, I'm probably not going to write mine on here!) and decide what can be done to turn back to God in those areas.  For example, If I confessed to eating 5 pieces of cake, I would repent by deciding to take care of the body God blessed me with better and not going crazy with the cake eating -- and maybe even eat a vegetable or two!

5.  List 5 people, things, or situations that you can use help with that day.  I like this because it gives me a purpose of the day.  Which 5 things should I ask for guidance for and focus on?

6.  Turn my day over to God.  Let Him have my time and add to or take away from my 5 things as He sees fit.  This requires listening for thoughts and ideas that may be inspiration and then following through.

7.  My sister Jenny has a favorite quote.  It goes, "When the mind is still, the soul speaks."  She takes time every day to meditate on the fact that she is God's child.  He knows her and loves her.  She takes the time to feel that love.  This is the part I need to make sure to add.  Doing the above things, especially one and two, help me to feel God's love for me, and (with my whole 2 days of trying), this way of starting my morning has given me a focus and a purpose and the chance to contemplate better what I can do to better give my life to my Savior who gave His life for me!

*The Pinterest Post was by "Farm Girl Journals"

Word of the Year: Seasons

Me, Kayli and Teddy on a hike up Santaquin Canyon

Towards the end of last year I talked about Seasons and how I was studying each season and trying to come up with a health plan that revolved around the Seasons.  I decided at some point that my word of the year would be Seasons.  I even got a wall calendar called "SEASONS" that has beautiful pictures of each month.

One of the things that I am trying to implement as a part of my winter Season is getting outside more -- and specifically into parks and canyons if possible.  This gets me into nature to see the beauty that exists in winter, and it gets me a bit of sunshine.  Kayli and Derek are very helpful with this.  It helps to have a Teddy that needs some exercise.  I need it too -- but I enjoy it less than he does!

I hiked Santaquin canyon with Kayli one day and with Kayli, Derek, Jake and Dan the next day.  I was more tired the second day and cried on the hike, which I was hoping I was past doing.  Sigh.  Kayli was very kind (she was the one walking with me).  I have issues with being the slowest that I am working on dealing with in a better way (like being okay with being slow).  

All of the pictures above are from Santaquin Canyon.  Today we went up Payson canyon and I didn't get any pictures -- but Dan did.  He tried to send them to me, but they haven't arrived.  The Canyons are beautiful.  Today I didn't cry, but I turned around and went down before everyone else.  Instead of getting in the car though, I went up into the woods above the car where there wasn't a trail and tromped around.  I like woods in the snow, and I like walking among the trees and making my own trail so I thought that was fun.  

Christmas Day

 Celebrating Christ's birth has always found us giving and receiving presents.  There are moments in each Christmas Season that I find feel more like the celebration of Christ's birth, but mainly this time, it was a feeling of gratitude for time with family.  Here are the pictures from that day.

This is towards the end of the day.  I think the pictures are in backwards order.  We were watching a movie -- or getting ready to maybe.

Trisa brought in a mattress for the movie and was quickly joined by Chewy and by Teddy!

Mike in the kitchen opening something? :-)

Trisa, Jake, and Kayli with their piles of stuff.  Derek's legs:-)

Cute Tia and the mess before it could get cleaned up.

Derek trying on Kayli's gift from Brit and Kota.

Kayli in her own gift.  That robe is really, really soft!

Tia and Mike opening their presents.

Jake and Kayli opening their presents.

Trisa and Jake opening their presents with Teddy watching Kayli.

Derek trying to dig the last gifts out from under the tree.  This picture makes me smile.  You can also see Dan's back and Chewy.

Tia and Mike.  Tia is sitting with "Baby Yoda" who is really Grogu.  

Mike and Tia again.

My Derek!

Chewy, Trisa, Dan, Teddy and Jake

Dan, Kayli and the Dogs.

Dan by stockings.

That is all of the pictures I have.  It was my camera which explains why there weren't any of me.  I got nice gifts too.  We waited for Tia and Mike before opening our gifts.  We just enjoyed our stocking gifts, and breakfast, etc. until then.  It's a good thing they showed up when they did.  Patience was starting to disappear!  We had to wake Jake up this year!  There was only Jake in the basement and no sleepover except Trisa in Kayli's room and so there was no race up the stairs or anything.  It was different, but it was a nice day.  We usually have Derek's sister Erin and her husband Russell and their family over on Christmas Day, but it was Covid year and so we played a couple of games with them over the computer and called it good -- but we missed seeing them in person!

Christmas Eve

 

I have no pictures from Christmas Eve, but above, if you look in the sky between the trees you will see the "Christmas Star" that I took a picture of on December 21st.  It is really two planets close together, but it was pretty fun to see since it only happens every few hundred years!  You can find it in the picture below too.

Christmas Eve day seemed long.  I don't even remember what we did!  On Christmas Eve we were able to go over to Derek's parents house in the evening and take some pizza with us.  We wore our masks until we had food and we were sitting at a different table than his parents, but it was nice to get to do a little something that was "normal" for us to do.  

After dinner Derek read out of a journal Derek's Mom had him write in years ago and so we could enjoy his perspective as a 16 year old at Christmas time, and then we went downstairs and sang songs to my girls playing the piano or me playing guitar until it was time to hurry to the cemetery where more family showed up and we sang Silent Night by family grave stones in the candle light.  The cemetery is always beautiful on Christmas Eve with candles everywhere!

Christmas Eve Eve

 As our children get older there seem to need to be more adjustments made to holiday celebrations, and Christmas is not an exception. We all knew that there for sure would be differences in 2020!  For one thing, we don't live at the same house and so our traditional Christmas Eve pictures could not be taken in front of the fireplace.  This year, they couldn't even be taken on Christmas Eve if we wanted everyone to be in the pictures!   We took them on December 23rd instead because Connor and Amanda were here for the day.

Left to Right:  Jake, Dan, Tia, Mike, Sherie, Derek, Connor, Amanda, Kayli, Trisa with Teddy and Chewy in front (not looking at the camera)

While Connor and Amanda were here we went up to our property so they could see the progress on our house, we chatted, we got out their presents and took down their Christmas stockings so they could take them home, and we played games.  Honestly, I don't remember all that we did, I just remember that the time came for them to go home before I wanted it to, and I am thankful that they came!

Kayli's Birthday

Kayli's birthday was December 19th.  We celebrated (of course).  She was also remembered by some friends.  I am glad because Kayli is good at remembering other people's special occasions!  

I forgot to have Kayli send me pictures of her adventures with her friend Brittany.  Brit took Kayli to a farm.  Smart move!  Brittany is a good friend and knows Kayli well.  Kayli loves animals and she especially loves goats.  The farm had goats!  And a cow or two and maybe some chickens.  Kayli had a very good time.

Kayli with her Dad.  She loves her Papa -- who she often calls Gary -- which is really confusing to everyone who knows his name is Derek.

This is Derek, Kayli and Teddy.  The gift Kayli is looking at is actually from Trisa.  I believe it is a Supernatural coloring book.  Kayli enjoys Supernatural.

This is Maddie and Kayli.  Maddie has been Kayli's friend since high school (at least).  They were college roommates for a while and I love Maddie because she is a good friend to Kayli, and a sweet person in general.  She brought a present that was for Teddy because she knew Kayli would like that.  That has been one popular gift!  It was funny to watch Trisa's dog Chewy try to get a squirrel.  Teddy would take it away as soon as he noticed, and Chewy would pick up another one.  That was an ongoing thing the whole time Chewy was here!

 I love Kayli!  I am thankful for her every day.  She is really smart, she plays the piano beautifully, and is a good example in lots of ways.  She is really fun, and is good at loving people. 

Tools for Joy

I like this picture!  The bird is raising his claw so he probably
has an opinion to share. ***

 This year my goal of the year was JOY.  I thought I would share some of the things that have helped me on my quest to find, create, and experience more joy.

I get a lot of joy out of communicating with people, especially those that I love.  I need to go out of my way to take time to visit, Marco Polo, call, text, write, or otherwise communicate with people I care about as often as I can.  I have had a good year spending more time talking to my sisters, friends, and family.  I have had some really good conversations with my sisters that were therapeutic and helpful!  I also have a counselor right now who has helped me recognize and change unhelpful thought patterns.  She is good at focusing on strengths and being encouraging!

Worship Service and time to think about the love of our Father in Heaven and our Savior is good at bringing my focus to what is important.  I have really enjoyed the chance to worship with my family on Sundays, and I have often been granted insight when I needed it if I took time to contemplate important things!

Projects!  I really have loved projects.  Organizing closets, the kitchen, the pile of boxes in the garage, or creating something new, or something improved from something used, gives me joy.

The beauty all around lifts my spirits when I take the time to notice.  I love time in the sunshine especially!  I am working on making myself go out even if it is stormy or cold.  I usually enjoy it if I do.

Gratitude is always important and helpful.  I do not know if I have been reminded of any fact more often than that being thankful is a key to joy.  A very important key.

Books.  When I want to do better at something I tend to try to find books that will give me ideas.  I prefer little ideas that make a big difference :-).  Here are some of the books that I have read and found helpful:

    Anxious For Nothing, How Happiness Happens, and Traveling Light by Max Lucado.

    9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life, and Changes that Heal by Henry Cloud

    Making it Through the Middle, and Grace Where You Are by Emily Freeman

    How to Human by Alice Connor

    Living on Purpose by Barry D. Ham PH.D

    Don't Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson, PH.D

    Primary Greatness by Stephen R. Covey

    Make Something Good Today by Erin and Ben Napier

It really helps me to focus on good things, and to choose to believe that good things can and will happen if I keep working towards them.  Thanks to all of you.  Your kindness and love makes a difference to those around you, including me.

***Photo by Bruce Jastrow on Unsplash

Extra Effort for Extra Enjoyment

Salem Pond

Thanks to Kayli and Derek we have been doing pretty well at getting in regular walks, even in the cold.  Kayli is a good dog owner who wants Teddy to get some exercise, and Derek is good at wanting to get in some walking for the exercise, and probably the change in scenery from the basement where he's been working.

We often do what we call the "Haskell Loop" because it goes down the road where a few of our Haskell friends live (On a road that actually has "Haskellville" on the sign).  We like this loop because it goes into county roads that have little farms, horses and cows.  We enjoy petting the horses which Teddy thinks they are big dogs he must attack (though he only ever gets to growl at them from afar).  The cows too.  

Over the holidays Derek would say, "Let's go for walkies" and I would moan because I didn't want to.  I had a headache and it was cold.  But we would bundle up and go, and I always was glad we did.  Yesterday we hadn't had a chance to walk in the sun and so Derek suggested we get in the car and go to Salem Pond to walk.  I enjoy the Haskell loop, but I was glad that we took a little extra effort to walk somewhere else.  Breaking out of routine made the walk seem more like a break, and the Christmas lights on the pond are beautiful.  I got to thinking that sometimes, when the things we like to do start seeming like chores, we could take a little extra effort to do them in a different way, and we might get a little extra enjoyment from the change, and more enjoyment out of the routine when we go back to it.

*Written Dec. 1st

Christensen Christmas Letter 2020

December 2020

Dear Friends and Family,

What a year! So many things have changed, and yet I find that I still have a lot to be grateful for, and I hope that you do too. My goal word of the year was “JOY” and I find joy best when I focus on what is good, and on the wonderful people I know! There’s a lot to cover--our last letter was 2 years ago!

Trisa is back to the last name of Christensen, and as always, is someone we all love to talk to and hang out with-- with her dog Chewy of course. She has awesome friends in Cedar City who have given her safe places to stay, babies to hold, children to play with, and adults to talk to. She is a good friend in return. Trisa is still teaching Kindergarten. She taught online at the end of the last school year. This year she is back in the classroom teaching kids who wear masks, argue over funny things, and have Trisa’s heart even when they’re naughty.

Tia and Mike live in Provo. Tia keeps lots of people looking beautiful while Mike keeps Provo safe from the “bad guys”. Mike graduated from BYU last December and then promptly went off to be trained as a policeman. He works for the Provo police department and doesn’t always appreciate our prayers that his work will be safely boring :-). Mike and Tia travel as often as they can. This year they did a quick one to South Dakota when Tia was going stir crazy and saw Mount Rushmore. They went to Michigan twice (where Mike’s parents are). The second trip to Michigan was after going to Chicago to attend his brother Nick’s wedding to Lindsay. YAY! We love it when Tia and Mike come over. They make me smile. Teddy can’t decide whether to love Mike or bark at him. Mike said, “Teddy and I have a complicated relationship.”

Kayli is super awesome and I am really glad that she hangs out here with us when she isn’t working or hanging out with cousin Avery or other friends. She still works for Nutra Connection, and she is going to school on the computer via the Pathways program. She is Teddy’s dog momma and takes really good care of her cute doggie. She also became an honorary aunt this year when her friends Brittany and Kota had their much anticipated little girl. They gave their baby two middle names -- one of which is Marie after our Kayli Marie. Kayli loves that baby and her parents! So do we. We were blessed to be able to attend the Payson temple with Kayli in October.

Connor got home from his mission to Japan! Okay. So that was April of 2019. Eventually his fondest dreams came true and he was able to date Amanda Wilcox, get engaged, and then married! As of August 28, 2020 she is now Amanda Christensen! They were married in the Payson temple and they live in Cedar City. They helpfully visit Chewy sometimes when Trisa is teaching school. Connor works at Walmart and Amanda is a teacher’s aide. They both “attend” SUU (online). Due to their busy schedules we don’t see them as much as we’d like, but we love them!

Jake graduated from high school in 2020 and was pleased as punch not to have to attend graduation. He did miss going to school though. He had good friends there and misses seeing them still. This summer he went to volunteer at Agape, a food pantry / thrift store up the street from us and was given a job. It’s not a lot of hours, but they are thankful for him and can never say enough good things about him. Jake is great. He uses his muscles and good skills to help out, at AGAPE and at home, a LOT. One of his favorite things in the world is having his siblings home.

Dan has had a stressful year, but I’ve gotten to spend more time with him while trying to give him breaks from doing school by himself, and he’s gotten to spend a lot of time with his “twin” cousin Caleb who is doing online school in Idaho. I can hear them in the other room chatting away while playing some online game together. The bonus of him not really going anywhere is that he has had a healthier year than any I can remember.

Derek and I decided that the middle of a pandemic was a good time to sell the house we’d lived in for over 21 years and build a home on the land we’ve owned up in Elk Ridge for almost 16 years. Naturally, nothing went quite as planned. The house sold in 6 hours and we didn’t even have house plans yet! Thankfully our next door neighbor had a “spare” house he rented to us that is only about 3 blocks from our old house and in the same ward (church) boundaries. Our house is designed, water shares we didn’t know we needed are bought, and our builder (Zions Builders, owned by my friend Shannon’s husband Dave) has got the footings in and the foundation is coming soon!

The country shut down while Derek was in Orlando on a work trip. He came home and has worked from home ever since. In our old house there was an office. Here there is an unfinished basement (brrrr). I like having him home. His commute was kind of long and here he can occasionally go for a walk with us, or come up for lunch. He probably makes dinner more often than I do, and it’s kind of fun that he gives the kids and Teddy “the rock” and me a hug and a kiss (ewww says Dan) before heading to work.

I belatedly discovered Pinterest last year and have really enjoyed doing projects that I found on there. I love finding ways to make things better and organizing things in better ways! I have discovered a love for thrift shopping and I even bought a table at D.I. and turned it into a game table with a checker board on it! Fun! I am still over the children in our church congregation even though we are not meeting together as a group. I haven’t done a lot in this capacity, but I have done a puppet show or two and I miss seeing the kids! My health is mostly good. The pile of meds I take in the morning and evening fix the arrhythmia, make it less likely cancer will return, and keep me from spending lots of time crying in my room with depression. Yay for that!

This is last December (thus no Amanda) and also the reason we weren't wearing masks!

 

This is cute Amanda!

We love our good family, friends, and neighbors and do our best to love everyone we come across in our day to day existence. We love Christmas and the chance to focus on Christ and all that we have because of Him! May He bless us all as we move into a new year to be able to focus on the good, and find lots of joy in doing so.

Love from,
Sherie and Derek Christensen (and family)