Jake's Birthday

 Jake turned 19 on the 12th of February.  I can hardly wrap my head around the fact that he has grown up so fast.  I am so thankful that Jake is a member of our family.  He has a great sense of humor and really is a kind, compassionate, and loving son.  I absolutely love what a good brother he has always been, and what good siblings he has who love him just how he is.

These aren't the best pictures, but at least we took some!  For his birthday Jake would have loved to have the whole Baxter family over to our house to have dinner.  Their home was often like a second home for Jake.  Because of the pandemic we didn't invite the whole family, but we did invite Jake's friend Brennan, who took time off work to come and support his friend.  I am so thankful!  He made his own pizza like the rest of us and spent a bit of time here.  I know Jake has missed seeing friends and I am glad that, at least for one day, he got to see one!

Happy Birthday to Jake!

Listen and Love

I think it is natural for us to want to fix the problems of the people we love.  We look at their life from the outside and it seems so simple!  Why can't they see that all they need to do is ... (fill in the blank).  But life is more complicated than that, and we are not always as wise as we think we are.  Most often, the best thing we can do is listen to try to understand, and love people where they are without telling them how they could "get better".  I know that I have made the mistake of counseling when I really just didn't understand and when my counsel hadn't been asked for.  My intentions were good, but all I managed to do is show that I thought I was above them in some way. Generally people want someone to walk beside them and love them how they are.  We are, at least most of us, perfectly capable of knowing where we are failing, and maybe even how we "should" fix it.

In the leadership meeting I attended this past weekend, we were reminded to let people tell their story and not to judge.  Just listen, and love.  We suffer and mourn with those that mourn by listening without judgment, and showing love and acceptance.  I think it takes a lot of humility sometimes to listen and to realize that we do not know the best way to handle someone elses life!  We can not know all of their circumstances.  The best we can do is to lead them to the One who does.  To love them to Christ who can heal them when we cannot.  I really want to be someone who listens and to loves, and testifies of the One who heals.

*Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Good Neighbors

One of God's commandments is to love our neighbor, and clearly, as we study Christ's life and example, this includes all people.  Christ was the perfect "neighbor" who served all.  He served Judas, who betrayed Him.  He served Peter who denied Him three times.  He forgave those nailing Him to a cross, and had mercy on the thief who hung beside Him.  He ate with those who were looked down upon, and healed those who were shunned.  He gave the great gifts of sight, hearing, health, and life.  Christ gave the story of the good Samaritan, a man who helped his "enemy" and didn't choose to walk by on the other side with fear or judgment.

Good neighbors have made a huge difference in my life for good.  Neighbors that lived beside me, behind me, or nowhere near to me.  People who brought treats or dinners, people who gave compassion and sympathy.  People who smiled, or waved.  People who carried heavy things when I couldn't, or did other things I couldn't do for myself.  Among my greatest "neighbors" are my own family members who have given me love when I didn't feel like I deserved it, and taken care of things I couldn't manage to do alone.  Today is a good day to reflect on all of the good neighbors and to reflect on how I can be a better one!

*Photo by Derick McKinney on Unsplash

Trials: Then What?

In a meeting I attended via Zoom yesterday, Elder Suarez said that we were going to talk about trials.  People had sent in a lot of questions on how to endure trials and not just endure them, but endure them in such a way that our faith and the faith of those around us are strengthened.  He began by talking about preparedness and how if we are prepared we wouldn't fear (Doctrine & Covenants 38:30).

Today, as I thought about this I wondered what happens if we have a trial that feels like it has caught us completely unaware.  It seems to come out of left field, and hit us like a ton of bricks.  We do not feel prepared.  And, we might be afraid.  Is it too late then to endure that trial well?

I do not think so.  Even if we have tried our whole lives to prepare for every eventuality, we are human, and we really can't succeed completely.  It will help for sure, but some trials are just going to catch us unaware and feeling unprepared.  Sometimes I think we are going to experience fear.  But then what?  I think that is the most important thing.  Then what?

Always the Lord is waiting for us to turn to Him. Always He is wanting to help us.  Sometimes in those trials we feel so unprepared for and are afraid of, we are going to need to choose to hope.  We are going to need to choose to believe Christ when we fail to see Him or feel Him near.  We are going to need to search out gratitude, and hang on to the grace given by Him and by the people near to us.  And the more we do this, the more we will have faith in Christ, and the stronger that faith will be.  The stronger our faith is, the more our fear will fade.

I think we need to know that if we are afraid, we are not bad, and we can work on preparedness in the midst of fear and trials.  It is just important that we turn to Christ and not away from Him and that we do not give up.  He loves us and He will not give up on us!

Looking Forward to a Visit to The Dentist Office

 I know that a lot of people dread going to the dentist.  I do too if I'm getting a crown done or some other painful thing.  I very much enjoy going to get my teeth cleaned though.  Why?  Because I see Suzie, who is the nicest dental hygienist!  She has become my friend that I only see every six months.  I was so disappointed the time that I went and she was on a family vacation!  This time I had to reschedule and I waited an extra month so I could see her.  I have mentioned her before because she made a difference to Connor and he wrote about it.  She makes a difference to me too. 

Somehow she manages to get my teeth clean while we chat.  She remembers my children and asks how they are.  She remembers things I wouldn't think she'd remember since I'm sure she is as thoughtful to everyone.  I got to hear about her new house when they were building and now she got to hear about mine.  I believe she really cares about me, and it makes me happy to see her.

One of the things that I love most about living in the same town for so long is that I have found places to go for various needs that have people who recognize me and are happy to see me.  That is a really nice thing!  I am thankful for people who do their work with an extra bit of kindness thrown in.  They make a bigger difference than they may realize!

Wednesday's Drama

 First let me assure you that all is well and a little of the drama was maybe a little funny -- after the fact.  

Tuesday was my regularly scheduled mammogram.  I'm 3 years away from my original cancer finding mammogram, and so it had actually been a whole year since my last one and I was nervous.  What ifs ran through my mind a lot, and my fortune cookie said something helpful like "You will be brave as you face adversity".  I even made a plan for how I'd handle things this time.

I was hoping for one of the nice "diagnostic mammograms" where they show the doctor right away and I would get the verdict before I left.  No such luck.  Christine, who I've seen several years in a row was sympathetic.  She has her own serious health issues and understands the worry of not knowing for sure, but there was nothing she could do but say sorry, they'll read it tomorrow.

Wednesday comes and I am happily treasure hunting at the D.I. when my phone rings.  It was Christine from the hospital asking if my doctors had called yet.  No.  No they hadn't.  She said she knew I was worried and she wanted me to know that the doctor saw something, probably nothing to worry about, and wanted more pictures and maybe an ultrasound.  She offered to schedule a time and, I think thanks to Covid, there were open times that day.  I went in again.  Had more pictures which they hoped would make the spot disappear.  Nope.  Then Christine came with me to the ultrasound and the ultrasound guy took pictures, once he found something, and said the doctor might want to see -- but then came back soon saying he was wrong and the doctor said it was fine.

I have a cyst.  A "non-worrisome" cyst.  I also had a visible lymph node.  We have those all over and apparently they occasionally "show up" in various places.  As long as they aren't too big that's okay.  So, because of my history, and to be safe, I will go back in 6 months and make sure all is the same.  End of drama ..... almost.

I got ready to go and started searching all of my pockets for my keys.  I emptied my purse twice.  I patted my coat and pants pockets a ridiculous amount of times since they obviously weren't there.  Christine walked with me back and forth to the two different rooms searching couch cushions and chair cushions and the floor.  Nothing.  We went to the check-in desk.  Nothing.  She walked outside with me to see if I dropped them as I walked in. Nothing.  

And then I got near enough to the car to hear it.  It was running!  I must have been a bit nervous when I arrived, and I was distracted by the Life Flight helicopter taking off.  I watched it as memories of watching Jake's life flight helicopter take off from my hospital room ran through my head.  Thankfully, after having been in the hospital for almost an hour, the car was still there, quietly keeping warm in the parking lot.  Totally not good for the planet to have it running, but it was good for me that nobody stole it!  

One last thing.  I am thankful for Christine who was very thoughtful and kind, going out of her way to help me, and to try and make everything less stressful.  It was very appreciated.

**Photo by Angiola Harry on Unsplash

Connection and Gratitude

 I like my alone time.  I like doing a lot of things that are usually done alone.  I often read alone, write alone, sing alone, clean alone, organize alone, bake alone -- I do any number of things alone and enjoy myself just fine.  However, I am often happiest when I am talking with others, listening to others, or doing things with others.  I love people, and too much time alone usually finds me starting to feel down and focusing too much on what is wrong instead of the multitude of things that are good and right. So this week I am trying to focus on connecting with people.

I am also working on gratitude, both generally, and as it relates to the people I know.  I have found over and over that gratitude is one of the most important keys to happiness.  This past week when I had a day where I didn't feel as well as I wanted I was discouraged.  The next day when I woke up, I was reminded that though my joints and head often ache, and I don't have the large amounts of energy I would like, there is so very much about my body that works right.  I can see!  I am so glad to see the beauty in the world around me.  I can hear!  I love the sounds of nature, and the wonder and joy of music!  I can taste!  So many with covid have lost this ability for a short, or even a long, time.  How hard that must be!  I can walk and even run (for a little bit and not so fast -- but hey -- it's running!).  

I am glad that technology gives us ways to connect even if we can't meet together in person so much, and I am thankful for people, especially family and friends, who help me stay happy through sharing their time with me.

**Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash  (I love Crocuses!)

Growing Green in Winter

 

When I was trying to think of things to try in winter to make it happier, my counselor friend Tammy suggested that I try growing sprouts.  I didn't know if it would be worth it for me.  I am picky.  But I tried growing Broccoli sprouts.  I put in too many seeds for one jar but it was miraculous to watch them go from seeds to sprouts to eat in one week!

Good news!  I actually like them on my meat sandwiches!  For vegetarians I imagine they are good on any sandwich besides maybe peanutbutter.  So now they are in the fridge where I am trying to eat them before they are done being good (just a couple of days) and then I will grow more!

Electricity to Build With!

There is power going from the box to our new house.  This has to be finished so that they can start framing.  

This is a trench all along the front of our property.  It is new and I'm not really sure what it's for, but it was fun to jump over so I could go check out the rest of the work!

Part of the cement has been uncovered I think.  What do you think?

A view from the house out towards the neighbors house.  You can see the rock and sand piles, the floor joists and the trench.

A closer look at the piles.

My van in the background, lots of rebar in the foreground.

The left quartz will likely be the countertops in most of the kitchen.  The one on the right will be on the island.  The picture below is the big version.  Nothing is set in stone yet:-)  I can always change my mind!

That's it!  We looked at fireplaces and plumbing fixtures yesterday, and chose sinks today with the countertops.  There are lots of choices to make and budgets to try to stay in!  I asked today for a guess on when the framing would be done.  I was told the middle of February.  I am looking forward to seeing it in real life instead of on paper!

Move to Motivate

 

I was reading this morning (I know -- shocker!) a little book called Habits of Happiness by Wendy Ulrich and she was suggesting that we don't try to get motivated to exercise.  That sounds all wrong since we all know that exercising and drinking more water seems to be half the answer to health woes -- the other half being eat well and get enough sleep.  What she had to say made sense though because she explained that instead of waiting to be motivated to exercise, we should just do the littlest thing we can get ourselves to, which will lead to improvement, which may actually lead to exercise!

I've seen this work in my own life.  I read once that if it sounds like too much to do 30 minutes of exercise, just get yourself to do 10.  Because of that I have 10 minute exercise videos and I almost always found that if I did the 10 minutes, it wasn't so hard to keep going for at least 10 more!  Or if I just stand up and put on an exercise video thinking I'll do just a couple of minutes, it's easier to keep going than I expect.

The author's examples made me smile.  One person couldn't get herself to walk so she just stood on the treadmill and read the paper without moving.  Eventually she decided she could walk really slowly for a minute of her reading time, and eventually that turned into walking for a pretty good amount of time -- all because she did the first thing.

For some reason getting moving can be really, really hard -- especially if we are tired or dreading the task.  Once I start some dreaded task I can often work on it for a long time, but I have to be careful about that too!  I used to dread working in the yard, but really I love working in the yard.  I just used to keep going until everything was done and and put myself in pain and exhaustion and then I didn't ever want to go back out!  I had to limit my time in the yard to more reasonable amounts.  So maybe we can move to get motivated, and then be careful not to start out by trying to do so much more than we are used to that we start to hate the activity we want or need to do.

**Photo by Arek Adeoye on Unsplash 

Be Careful With Confession

 Hi everyone.  What I am about to write stems from an experience I had this morning.  As I have pondered it a bit I came up with a few titles.  One was "A Lesson From Confession", another was "It's a Trap!"(which I hear in my head being said by a Star Wars character).    I suppose I could also have gone with "The Cons of Confession".  But -- to the point.

As I was writing in my prayer journal this morning and got to the confession part I started contemplating yesterday.  What did I need to confess?  Well, some days are just good days.  I realize I am gloriously imperfect, and there is no day where I do and say everything just right, but the problem came when I fell into the trap I've fallen into for years, and thankfully I recognized it before I got stuck.  I started nit-picking myself.  Trying to find everything "wrong" with me.  I wrote down "I am selfish" and looked at it.  I got out the white out.  I got rid of that!  I am a child of God who sometimes thinks of myself above others, but selfish is NOT who I am.  So, instead I confessed that I was having trouble having compassion for myself and my imperfections, and then I moved on to repentance.

I was always taught that a part of repentance was recognizing what you did wrong, and I know that confession is sometimes necessary as a part of healing.  However, I think, for me, it is easier to come at this all from the "return to Christ" perspective.  How can I do better today at doing the Lord's will than I did yesterday?  Focusing forward on what I can do better now helps me a lot more than focusing on every little thing I might have done or said wrong yesterday.

I also read something this morning that reminded me that Heavenly Father and Jesus are more inclined to remind us of our strengths and how, if we focus on using those for good, our weaknesses will often fall by the wayside.  God corrects with compassion, and I'm inclined to confess with condemnation towards myself.  So, my prayer journal may just be skipping the step of confession from now on and any confessing I need to do will fall under the heading of repentance.  Be careful with confession! 

Christ as The Center of Home

 Today I finished reading the book Creating A Christ-Centered Home by Emily Belle Freeman and I thought I would share with you her summary of the chapters -- which is kind of like a poem.

If you seek a house where He abides,
prepare to invite Him in.

If you seek a house of faith,
expect miracles.

If you seek a house of prayer,
converse with Him.

If you seek a house of scripture,
embrace the stories of Jesus.

If you seek a house of worship,
honor the day that is His.

If you seek a house of unity,
do nice and be sweet.

If you seek a house of grace,
remember His mercies.

If you seek a house of change,
let Him perform His great work.

If you seek a house of love,
provide a refuge for weary travelers.

If you seek a house of holiness,
walk with Him.

If you seek a house of gratitude,
let actions convey what words cannot express.

If you seek a house built upon a rock,
Make Christ the center of your home.

One last if.  If you don't get what one of the above means, then you can read her book.  She is good at explaining.  It does us all good to contemplate Christ, and how we can bring Him and His love and grace into our homes to stay!

**Photo by Ella de Kross on Unsplash  (I don't know anyone who lives in a home like the one pictured, but I loved it and I know that Christ can be the center of any home, no matter how small or great, if He is welcomed in!)

Reset

 Here is a quote that I think goes well with Sundays especially -- but really with any day and any time.

"No one can go back and make a brand new start, my friend; but anyone can start from here and make a brand new end."

                                                            Quote by Dan Zadra 

None of us are perfect and so it is good to remember that even when we make terrible, frustrating mistakes, we can start again to change and make a brand new, and happier end.

**Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash