Thursday, February 21, 2013

Awkward vs. Awkward and Painful: A Dating Story

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Once upon a time there was a nineteen year old girl who was sure that life was going to pass her by.  She had never yet had a boyfriend, unless you count first grade when she was Sheldon's second best girlfriend.  She had been on dates, but it seemed like the boys she liked didn't like her back, and vice versa.  She was pretty sure something was wrong with her.  Then a boy asked her out who was a good friend of a friend.  He was a returned missionary.  This girl's roommates liked him.  They thought he was nice, and funny.  She went out with him a time or two and was pretty sure this was not a relationship that would work out for her.

Of course, the girl was me.  My roommates thought that I "looked good" with this boy and they encouraged me to "give him a chance".  Since I was pretty convinced that something was wrong with me, I decided I should try harder to like him.  It sounds dumb, and it was.  This is one of those experiences I'm not particularly fond of remembering.  I dated that poor boy long enough to hurt him when I broke up with him.  He cried.  I felt awful.  If I had been honest with myself, and with him, it would have ended much sooner and been less painful.

When dating, the opinion of others on how you look together, or how awesome the boy's sense of humor is, or their opinion that he is nice, or handsome, should not really factor in to what you do.  If you feel good about dating the person, and there are no warning bells going off in your mind, then you should accept another date.  If you are sure after the first date that this is not going to work for you, then it is better to be honest, and say no the next time.  Awkward is better than awkward and painful! 

1 comment:

Michelle said...

I totally agree. I have hurt way too many guys after the second or third date. Only one got hurt because I wasn't brave enough to end it when I know I should have. When it isn't right, it isn't right. I felt awful about the others for a while and then decided that they would have been hurt more if I had strung them along.
The one I should have broken up with and didn't was a differnet story. I was hoping that by associating with me he would change and become a better person. Stupid, I know, but it didn't work and I hurt him. Thanks for the story.