Remembering "The Bigg" Connor

Connor with his Great Grandma Heelis

I was not awake when Connor was born.  The anesthesiologist used something to put me to sleep just like she had when Trisa was born.  This time the epidural had gone into my blood stream and we came close to losing our little Connor.  Thankfully, I missed that part.  The first time I saw him he was screaming up a storm on his way to the ICU for his lungs.  His screaming reassured me that he would be fine, and he was.  That first night my nurse wheeled me to the ICU so that I could hold him.  I held him for about an hour.  I remember that, as I admired him, he looked into my eyes for a really long time.  The look he gave me was so trusting that it was a bit disconcerting! 

Connor was (is) much loved by his family.  I remember that when he cried his sisters would come and say, "Mom!  Connor is crying!"  I would explain that I knew that and would get him in a minute.  This was very distressing to them.  He was crying and I should get him right NOW!

Trisa and Connor



Connor was a big boy and so his Dad nick named him "The Bigg".  He is not called that anymore and, at 14 he just wishes he were big.   People who knew him as a baby, and don't see us often, will see him and say, "Oh my goodness, it's The Bigg!"  Connor always looks a little confused, but it makes us smile.

On Feb. 20, 2000 I wrote "Connor is funny during prayers sometimes.  For a while we all had troubles keeping our eyes closed during prayer because he was so fun to watch.  Once he had a book... and he was kneeling with it in front of him.  He'd close his eyes and fold his arms and then open them a little and quickly turn the page and then close them really tight and then squint at the book again.  He was trying to be reverent and read a book too.  It is always fun to see such a little boy kneeling down and folding his short little arms across his round belly."

I love the complements that Connor used to give me.  I wrote down the ones he gave me when he was three and I was eight months pregnant with Jake.  Once he said "Nice dress Mom! (pause) You look funny!"  Another time I was putting on eye liner and he asked what I was doing.  I tried to explain that it was supposed to make my eyes look better.  "Oh" he said, "Mom, you look pretty in that dress with those eyes!(pause) And you brush your teeth good too. (another pause) I brush my teeth good too!  My personal favorite though was another day when he said "Mom you look nice!  How did you get that dress on?"  Those complements made up for the time I came out of my room and he fell down on the floor laughing because he thought I looked funny.  If he did that now he'd be in big trouble! 

 Connor sang too and I loved what he thought songs said. When he'd sing We Wish You a Merry Christmas he'd say "tidings we bring and you and my skin".  I didn't correct him.  It was too funny.  But Kayli taught him the right words.  Sigh.  I guess he had to learn sometime.  I do miss "The Bigg" but the older Connor is really great too.  He's still sweet, and funny, and smart -- but he doesn't spend as much time making car noises -- he just drools on cars because he likes them.

The Bigg