Enjoying Some Thrift Store Projects

I went to Deseret Industries in Provo the other day.  I was wanting to replace my plastic paper trays with something wooden.  I found this:

I was excited.  It is very well built.  It had two wooden drawers I didn't want to use, but I could take them out, paint it and use it.  Of course, I didn't notice until I was ready to check out that the "shelves" are really half shelves.  I think I can figure out some way to make it work and so I bought it anyway and decided to paint the two drawers for fun to replace the cardboard boxes I've been using in my closet.

I got tired of trying to fix my awkward bird.  This goes in my closet and not my wall.
It was fun to try!

Since these are the same size they look great on my shelf.
I didn't really need them, but I enjoy them just the same.

We keep trying to clean things out of our house, so I'm waiting for Derek to try to ban me from thrift stores where I seem to pick up about as much as I drop off.  At least I didn't buy one of the solid wood doors that I figured something cool could be made out of if I knew how!  I guess this is what comes of watching lots of Fixer Upper type shows -- I start wanting to find antique doors like Joanna Gaines :-)

The Problem With Audio Books

Lately I get double vision if I read for very long.  One hour.  Two at most.  It's very annoying and takes a while to go away, and yet still I resist audio books. And then I accidentally checked one out from "Libby", the online library app.  I checked out "Make Something Good Today" by Erin and Ben Napier.  I have enjoyed listening to them read the book they wrote in their southern "twang", reminiscent of my Kentucky relatives.  I enjoy hearing them talk about their Mamaws and Papaws, and the descriptions that make me think of all that is happy about home.  I also heard a quote or two I like.

The problem with audio books?  I'd have to sit there with a pencil and paper and catch the quotes because I can't flip back through the pages and find them!  The one I heard today went something like this, "God gives us challenges to elevate us, not problems to drag us down."  Even though challenges may elevate us -- eventually -- I believe it is quite normal to first be knocked down by them a bit.  We need faith in Christ and the extra strength gained from getting back up to reach that elevation!

I still prefer reading to audio books, until I reach the point where I have a splitting headache because I'm trying to focus through the blur to find out what happens next!  Then I remember that I might have been better off using my ears to "read".

Enjoying The Rain

I was at the pharmacy once when one of the workers said, "When it rains it pours?" because I'd been in more than once on the same day and they knew about a couple of things that "hit" our family all at once.  I smiled and said something like, "Yes!  It's been raining a lot at our house lately, but we keep on smiling!"  And at least at that moment it was true.  I felt happy.  Hard things happen, but good things are learned, or strength is gained, or support is given, and not everything hard is bad.  Besides, there are more good things than not.  "Rain" can be beautiful even if we were hoping for sunshine.  And rain is necessary for growth.

Some days, admittedly, things happen and it feels more like baseball sized hail stones than rain, but if we don't give up on finding the good in things then eventually that sun is going to come out.

Photo by michael podger on Unsplash

Mike and The Police Academy

Mike started attending the Police Academy in January.  He should finish in April (I think).  He is really happy to have the chance to become a policeman.  I am happy that there are people who want to be policemen! 

Inviting God Into Our Days

Photo by Milos Tonchevski on Unsplash

Sunday in Primary our music leader asked the children if they could think of some ways of inviting God into their day.  I really like that thought.  Remembering to talk to Him was one of the things to do, and singing "church" songs was another -- though I think any beautiful, worshipful, or joyful song could work.  I think another way to invite Him is to take time to be appreciative of what we have, and share those things, or our time, with others.  I really like the thought that we can invite God into our days and have Him walk with us, talk with us, guide us, comfort us, and feel joy with us.  There is no better or wiser companion that we could have!

Dan Becomes A Teacher

Kayli, Grandpa C., Grandma C., Mike, Tia, Jake (behind Tia), Derek in the back,
me in front of Derek, and Dan in front of me.

Dan, our youngest son, will be 14 in August (even though he got asked today if he was 11).  Jake got asked if he was a deacon (12 or 13 years old).  He'll be 18 in a couple of weeks.  

Dan was ordained a teacher today in the Aaronic Priesthood.  Dan has a lot of challenges, but he also is very smart and has a lot of talents.  He loves his family and we love him and are proud of how he works hard to be good and kind.  He likes to listen to religious talks when he goes to bed, and remembers a LOT of information that he hears and reads and watches.  

The picture was taken by our Bishop.

Recognizing Limits and Wishing I Didn't Have Any!

Today maybe I should spend more time imitating Teddy in this picture and less frantically working.

The other day I was thankful that I recognized that I couldn't do all of the things that I really wanted to.  This morning I had all of those happy, "I can do almost anything" feelings even though I have a cold and don't have much energy.  I do recognize that I have limits, but I sure wish I could just do the whole list of things I want to without any problems!  The good news?  Derek has volunteered himself and Jake to be my helpers, so maybe I'll get quite a bit more done than I would otherwise!

Accepting What Is -- With Gratitude

There are times when I, and everyone else, just doesn't like how things are in some way.  Maybe we don't like what we look like, or our physical limitations, or our job, or where we live, or the way we are treated.  How do we handle those things with gratitude when we don't want them to be how they are?  Will having gratitude mean we have settled?  Given up?  Well, here's a thought.  What if gratitude is the first step to change?  What if things will never be different (in a good way) without a little gratitude?  

For example.  If I look in the mirror every day and point out every flaw, and really dislike what I see, am I going to treat myself well?  Will I take care of this person I don't like?  It seems more likely that if I look in the mirror and see all that my body has done and can do, all of the hard things it has gotten me through, and am thankful, I will want to take care of the person in the mirror the best I can, and not treat myself carelessly.

Then there are physical limitations.  I've talked before about my slow hiking and how I cry over it.  But if I instead focus on the fact that I am out in nature, with people I love, and that I can move and breath (even if it is in gasps)  I would be more likely to have a little compassion on myself and let go of the frustration that things are not different.  Then I might hike more often -- and actually get faster!

There are things that just won't change.  Dan's allergies have only ever changed for the worse, but he has impressed me with his ability (most of the time) to be grateful about the things he can eat.  Only when I accepted his allergies, was I able to let go of my feelings of resistance and frustration and find gratitude in the information that is out there to help.

I believe that accepting what is with gratitude is the catalyst for change, either in the situation, or in the way we deal with it.  When we stop wasting energy wishing things were different, and accept what is, we can use the energy we've been wasting to move forward.

Photo by Freshh Connection on Unsplash

Thankfully Recognizing My Limits

This morning when I woke up and dragged myself out to join the family, I found a bit of chaos and panic.  Dan had belatedly remembered that he had a paper that need to be signed, but he couldn't find his folder.  He was convinced his teacher would make him run until he threw up if he didn't bring that paper to gym class today.  He missed the bus, but Jake drives anyway and so once the paper was found and signed, and Jake's papers were signed (last minute Mom homework) they went off to school, and Derek got ready and headed to work.

That left me here with the burst of energy that comes from running around in a hurry in the morning.  I started enthusiastically thinking of all I could do today.  I could clean out my cedar chest, the office closet, the desk, and this big messy room.  I could get the storage room in shape so there aren't so many things to trip on lying on the floor.  I could write, and study!  I could do the Walmart shopping!  It all sounded great, and I am thankful for times of enthusiasm and "I can accomplish anything!" type moments.  I am also thankful that I did realize that I really could not do all of that in one day.  At least not without doing a poor job, exhausting myself, and breaking all of the "don't do too much" instructions from the physical therapist.

I am thankful that I actually kind of like doing all of the things listed above.  I am thankful I have a house, and things to organize and clean.  I am also thankful I don't have to accomplish all of that in one day and that, in spite of all of these things I could do, people are still the priority.

*Photo by Jessica Lewis on Unsplash

The Extended Adventure

This year I asked Derek if we could extend our car show adventure and stay in Salt Lake overnight and walk around temple square on Saturday before heading home.  I thought we needed a break, and I also thought it turned out well.

We went to Chili's for dinner and I found a sandwich that was delicious while Derek enjoyed some ribs.  Saturday we had breakfast at the hotel and discovered that instead of waffle makers, they had pancake making machines.  Naturally, we had pancakes so we could watch it work!  There were eggs and sausage and gravy and biscuits too.  Then we checked out of the hotel, put our stuff in the car, and went walking.  Our first stop was The Church History Library where we watched a short film on what is done there and had a little tour.  Next we went to The Conference Center, which is huge.  We even got to go outside on the roof / gardens.  It's been a lot of years since we've been up on top of the building and the trees have grown since then.

I wanted a picture by the giant statue of Joseph Smith to send to my parents.  We had just finished lunch in the Nauvoo Cafe that you can see in the background.  I had turkey pot pie.  Derek had a triple cheese grilled cheese with bacon on it.  I couldn't eat all of my pot pie and so Derek decided to try it.  He doesn't usually like turkey pot pie, but he liked this one!  He knew it had some spice in it besides just pepper that he liked but he wasn't sure what it was.

We headed upstairs (This was in the Joseph Smith Building) and found another nice lady to give us some information.  As we were headed in to see the chapel she suggested that if we hadn't eaten we should have the turkey pot pie because it had sage in it and is really good.  Wasn't that nice of her to answer our question without being asked? 
Above you can see the organ.  The ebony and ivory is reversed!  

I wanted a picture with all of the Joseph statues so I ran back to get a selfie with this one.  He's holding an axe, but you can't see it because I was standing too close.

We walked by temple square and saw that they had started taking out the south visitors center, and we walked in to Deseret Book which has been totally changed since we went with the kids last year!  There was an entire Crumble Cookie shop inside!

On the way to the car we walked through City Creek Mall including walking through the bridge that crosses the street and gives a great view for a long ways!  It was really nice to get away for a while and just enjoy walking around.  It was also nice to come home.

The Annual Trip To The Car Show

Derek and Me heading to the car show.

I love the person sitting in this car, but the car isn't my favorite color for a car.

I liked the blue suede on the seats.

This is the way to camp if you don't have a hotel or a camper.

I liked this car and was surprised how well my hair matched the roof.
I'm always surprised that my hair is white.

This is a picture Derek took for my Dad.  A Ford Mustang and me.

The green jeep got turned into a snowmobile!

A whole line of jeep-like vehicles.

I'm pretty sure Derek would never pick a purple car, but I wanted to send Kayli a picture of her favorite Papa and a car that is one of her favorite colors!

Derek is in the back seat when I took this picture.  This is a jeep truck.
You can take off the roof and probably the doors.

Here is a blast from the past -- or is it the future?

And finally the BMW Z4 that we took a picture of because we remembered that my sister
Jenny likes these cars.

Many Severely Wounded -- Love Needed

Everyone has hard things.  Everyone.  Some things can be obvious.  It's hard to hide crutches when you're using them!  A lot of things are not obvious.  Some wounds are so deep and hidden that maybe nobody knows about them except the person who is hurting.

I know such good people, and occasionally I know them well enough to see them walking around with a smile on their face giving good cheer and help to everyone they can while, inside, they feel broken.  Some people have heard hurtful words that seem trapped inside and impossible to kick out.  Some people have been treated as unimportant, or less than, until they are sure it's true.  There are those who feel like failures when their marriage or family breaks -- even though they tried with everything they had to make it work.  I've even had my own moments when I felt broken and fragile, but didn't know why.  My life is good!  Even misplaced guilt can be a big wound!

So, today and every day, instead of looking at someone and pointing out to them all of the ways I can see that they are wounded, I would like to be one who looks at them and sees all the ways they are wonderful and hold up a mirror to those things.  I want to love and care and walk beside and lift up.  I was just chatting with a friend who is so encouraging to me!  It makes such a difference!  We can use our best inner wound first aid -- healing through love.

Photo by Leighann Blackwood on Unsplash

The Health Team

I was talking to my sister Tina yesterday and commented about having a whole team of doctors that I've gone to in the last couple of years.  I think that anyone who has this many people helping with their health should feel great!  I do feel great!  At least right now.  Just for the record, I thought I would try to list as many kinds of medical professionals who have been on my health team the last couple of years as I can.

1.  My main "Dr." who is really the best nurse practitioner ever.
2.  Radiologists -- those who do mammograms, x-rays, and MRIs and the doctors who read them.
3.  2 surgeons (one for a lumpectomy and one for a hysterectomy)
4.  Radiation Oncologist and his nice minions who actually do the radiation treatments.
5.  Medical Oncologist
6.  Allergist
7.  Sports Doctor
8.  2 physical therapists
9.  Another nurse practitioner
10.  A couple of physician assistants.
11.  Lots of Medical Assistants and nurses -- including the medical oncologist's nurse who I see more often than I see him.
12.  Pharmacists (shout out to my favorite Mountain View Pharmacy where I'm often greeted by name).
13.  Phlebotomists.  I feel like there has been a whole herd of these -- kind of like nice vampires who always say "A little poke" and then proceeding to stab me with a needle that feels like a sharp straw, root around for a while, and ask if I'm ok.  I just moan a yes.  Some phlebotomists actually do give a little poke that doesn't hurt much.  Some -- let's just say I might run if I saw them coming at me with a needle again.
14.  Chiropractor
15.  Optometrist
16.  Cardiologist

I think that's all, and it doesn't count the ones I've gone to with my children because those are their health team.  The interesting thing to me is that, for as many doctors as I have, I'm pretty sure there are people out there who have more!  I wish them only the super talented phlebotomists and the most kind and concerned nurses and doctors!  I am thankful for mine who have done a good job of being concerned, interested, caring and helpful.

Photo by Luis Melendez on Unsplash

Moments of Happy

Silly me with elephant on my way to St. George

Yesterday, as I drove home from physical therapy, I had one of those moments I love.  A moment of happy.  A moment of gratitude.  I love Utah.  I love the mountains.  I love it when the sun is shining and the air looks clear.  I love my family.  I have awesome friends.  It was one of those moments that was perfect just because I was feeling grateful.

Later, when I arrived from grocery shopping I was happy that Dan came out, without being asked, and helped unload the groceries. 

In the evening I had more moments of happy.  Happy that Derek got to come home on time.  Happy that I had this whole day to not use crutches once and could carry things without having to hop -- or put them in a bag.  Happy that I could begin the switch from Christmas decorations to winter decorations.  Happy that Jake hopped up and down off of the bar to get things off the cabinets so I didn't have to.  Happy that when we were tired of it we could stop and do a seemingly impossible puzzle -- and finish it!  YAY!

The almost impossible puzzle (I'm not sure why it was so hard -- but it was)
It's a crooked picture because I didn't bother to stand up when I took it :-)

I hope that in every single day you will have at least one moment that you can think of as a moment of happy!

Dad. Home Again.

We went to visit my parents this weekend and got there Friday afternoon.  Just in time for me to be there when he was checked out of the hospital and got to go home.

This is Dad and the nurse that wheeled him out.  It was sunny out and he doesn't look as happy here as he actually was.

After we got home my family came over to visit (except Tia and Mike who weren't in St. George).  I very much enjoyed seeing my Dad looking so happy.  Going through that surgery was rough, and is probably still rough, but he did it and he seemed to enjoy our visit.

My Dad at home in his fancy chair.  He smiled a lot while we were there and it was good to see.

Dan's Backpack

Dan is very smart, and has so many ideas running through his head all of the time that I think it is easy for him to get "lost in his imagination."  That being the case, keeping track of homework papers and assignments is just a bother and probably feels to him like an interruption of all of the fascinating learning he could be doing.  So when he was sick, I cleaned out his backpack.  I have a new goal to make sure I help him with that activity at least once a week.  Here are the pictures of a semester's worth of stuff.

This is drinks that didn't get drunk, a plum that is incredibly dry and flat, meat that it would be a bad idea to eat, an old spoon and some old lunch bags.

This is a lot of papers, many of which were not in very good shape, but there were hidden missing assignments that likely helped his grades!

Vision Board

Derek took this picture, with Jake's help and said, "It's dorky but I don't care".  The youth activity this week was making vision boards with goals in the areas of spiritual, social, intellectual and physical.  Dan was sick, and Jake didn't want to make one and so he helped Derek make one.  I think there was always a little trouble finding pictures to match up with the goal idea, but they did the best they could.  This is more Dan's and my kind of activity than Derek or Jake's so I'm impressed that they did something!

What Will Make This Year Better Than Last Year?

That is one of the thinking questions that is in my planner and I think it is an interesting question to consider.  If we don't do anything differently, will our year be any better?  Maybe.  There are so many things we can't control!  But it seems like we would have a better chance of having this year be better if we work on the things we can control!

No matter what happens to us or to those we love, how we think about it matters.  I'm constantly working on thinking better!  My planner has places to fill in the answers to the thinking questions given -- and this question wanted me to come up with 5 ways I could work to make this year better.  Naturally I kind of combined things, but here is what I came up with for me.

1.  More little trips with Derek or the whole family.  (If big trips won't fit then I guess you go for the little ones!)
2.  Learning, Discovering, Creating
3.  Healing
4.  Tai Chi, Qui Gong, and ShenZhen meditation
5.  Focusing on Christ, love, joy, gratitude, and the good I can do.

*Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

Compassion For Self

I have recently run across a few books and articles about compassion for self.  I could have done better at having compassion for myself yesterday.  I felt sorry for myself because I was tired, had a headache, am on crutches, and everything seemed hard.  I felt less than I "should" be because I had cleaned out Dan's backpack and realized how much sooner it should have been done, and how much work he was now trying to catch up on while not feeling well, and I thought a good parent would have done better at helping him figure out how to manage his work.  Neither of these ways of thinking was compassion.

If I were to have compassion for myself I believe that I would see clearly those feelings of being less than I should be, and the feeling of overwhelm, or wishing for things to be different, and I would have been able to love this person who was struggling through a hard day the best she could.  I would have talked to myself kindly, letting myself remember hope, and the love of a patient and loving Heavenly Father.  I would not look backwards and waste time wishing I had been and done better back then.  I would focus on what I could do that would help now, and the fact that I can do better going forward.

There were moments of joy yesterday in a hard day.  Times when I could feel love shining on me and soothing the hurt.  There was compassion and care from others, and moments when I remembered that it is okay to have compassion for me.  I am grateful for moments like that to bring me back to hope, peace, and love.

**Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Joyful Scripture Reminders

For quite a while I have had my calendar pop up reminders during the day about Jesus love for me, and the grace He gives.  I decided to switch those out and have a scripture for each day of the week that pops up.  I figure if they pop up every week I am bound to memorize them, and they will also remind me of things I can do to contribute to the joy in my life.  So here they are -- plus an extra one:

With joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.  Isaiah 12:3

...men are that they might have joy.  2 Nephi 2:25

...call on the Lord thy God with supplication that you souls may be joyful.
D&C 136:29

...I will impart unto you my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy.  D&C 11:13

My soul delights in the scriptures.  2 Nephi 4:15

For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea the song of the heart is a prayer unto me, and shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads. 
D&C 25:12

All thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the joy of thy children.  Isaiah 54:13

For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee.  Isaiah 54:10

The Best Kind of News

This is my Dad right after he got out of the hospital after nearly dying from

congestive heart failure in October.

This is my Dad after he had quintuple bypass surgery and an aortic valve replacement on Friday.  It wasn't good news that he needed that done, but it was good news that he was able to prepare himself for it, and he has made it through the surgery and out of the ICU (which means he probably looks better than this now).  He even ate real food today!  I feel really sad that he is in pain and having to struggle his way to well again, but I am happy that he made it through such a hard thing!  Yay Dad!

Echo Results

I got the results to my echocardiogram!  It seems that, even though I have a couple of kinds of tachycardia, my heart does not have any defects.  The valves are doing well.  Celebration!  It was good news!

Photo by Erwan Hesry on Unsplash

Amazing Grace

Life has, in some ways, seemed uncommonly hard lately -- but if I look at it differently, my life is uncommonly blessed.  I have had some health challenges, but none have been life threatening, and there are doctor's and physical therapists, and family members in abundance who help me. 

Family members and friends have faced health challenges, employment challenges, relationship challenges, and a whole pile of other things too.  I care what happens to them, and it is hard to watch people struggle, but all of us have plenty to eat, warm places to stay, family who loves us, cars to drive, and the hope of better things to come. 

Most importantly, all of us have a Savior, and even though some days or weeks or months it may seem that He is hiding, He really wants to be found, and maybe all we need to do is find a different perspective, have compassion for ourselves and others, and seek the amazing grace that is there for us.  If we can't see the light right now, maybe we can at least envision it, hope for it, and trust that eventually the light will push out the darkness. 

Photo by Jeremy Thomas on Unsplash

JOY

...men are that they might have joy.  2 Nephi 2:25

This year I choose JOY as my one word goal, but I figure it won't help unless I have a pretty clear idea of what I want to do to help create and notice and feel joy more often.  I thought maybe I would assign a new word for every month that would help, but my family so many good words that I haven't decided upon a set plan yet!  Here are the words they helped me come up with:

Invite, Accepting Invitation, Celebrate, Cleansing, Gratitude, Health, Tai Chi, Wellness, Service, Learning, Money, Laughter, Family, Don't Overthink, Feel all emotions, Temple, mindfulness, music, adventure, simplicity, nature, connection, creativity, art, fun, reading, children, food, Get out of comfort zone.

I do have a tendency to try to "fix" everything at once, so I also need to be careful not to make my plan complicated.  A lot of these are things I already try to do, and so maybe I can just come up with new ideas on how to do some better, or a plan to do things at a certain time.  No matter what I can remember that my goal is JOY, and that even in hard times there can be an underlying feeling of gratitude and joy for a Savior, and for the life I have been given, and the opportunities I have to learn!

My Latest Artistic Endeavor

We had another painting party at our house the other evening.  We just pick pictures from Pinterest and try to copy them.  I decided to try a llama even though I thought it was too hard, and my pencil drawing was not really looking very much like a llama.  I figure if you never try anything hard you never even have a chance of accomplishing something hard!

Anyway, mine isn't as professional, but I think it's cute!

Happy Llama

My bird from our last painting party

What I Learned in 2019

For years Derek's parent's have asked us to write something about our year and give it to them for Christmas.  This year I chose to write some of the things I feel I have learned and share them with both sets of parents.  Perhaps someone else would enjoy reading them too.  Not everyone is the same, and not all that works for me will work for you, but other things will be true for everyone.

I can write more things and take less time if I allow myself to put out B+ work or maybe even B-. Every now and then an A or an A+ piece of writing might appear, but there is value in being okay with imperfection.

It is easier for me to be all in, or all out. It is easier for me to write every day, than 3 days a week. It easier for me to do without all desserts than to just eat some.

Creating is a happy thing for me. I like creating poems and songs and decorations and bulletin boards and even just ideas of things to do.

Though I am by no means perfect at it, I have learned to be a bit better about being sympathetic about other people’s problems -- even my own children’s -- without taking responsibility for them.

I realized this year how often I ask Derek to decide things that there is no reason I can’t decide. Because of this I have been trying hard to have an opinion and to own what I want.

Volunteering can be a very good thing. I have volunteered for things off and on for years with varying levels of enjoyment, but this year I have very much enjoyed the two different volunteer opportunities I have. The temple is always so happy for me, and organizing shelves of food and helping people who come in is also happy for me.

In the last couple of years of difficult health challenges, and various family challenges I have sometimes really not wanted to be President of the Primary -- except on Sundays. I love the children in Primary, and am thankful for the smiles and the love that they share with me. I think I am often good for the children, but I absolutely know that they are good for me!

I have learned that I am really glad Kayli takes care of the hard things about taking care of Teddy, but that I really find him funny, and I laugh more because he is here and because I think it is fun to play with him.

I am learning to give myself more grace. The last couple of years has been teaching me that I do not have to accomplish a specific list of things to be valuable and that if I don’t make dinner I might as well just enjoy not making it instead of being wracked with guilt!

It is best for me to not constantly look inward and try to root out every mistake I have made and wrong thing I might have said or done. Instead, if I am down I don’t assume that it is because I have done something wrong. Maybe I’m tired. Maybe I’m hungry. Maybe I need to get out of the house. Maybe I need someone to talk to. I think instead of something good I can do that will make me, or someone else happy. It is a relief to not constantly be gazing at myself critically.

I realized a similar thing as I tried to improve my prayers. I became very critical of every prayer I said for a while, and then realized it was much more helpful to notice what I did right.

Currently it is helping me to have an easy exercise plan. That way I can teach myself that I keep to my plans. Often, once I have started, I can do more, and when I don’t do more I remind myself that I have done what I planned.

At the end of the Primary Program this year I had five minutes to share my testimony of Jesus and His Atonement. I felt like I was inspired as the program was happening about what to say. I talked about how “God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world”. If He isn’t condemning me when I make mistakes or sin what is He doing? I feel like He is having compassion, He is reaching out with love and encouragement and giving hope that I can do better. He is saving me.

Endless compassion helps us see others more clearly.

I heard this year that “What other people think of me is none of my business”. I do not want to make decisions based on what I feel others want, but based on what I know and feel is right and good.

I have thought a bit this year about putting Christ at the center of my life. How is it done? I think it is done by making my life about love. Love for others. Love for myself. Love for the God who made us all, and the beautiful world we live in. If I do and say things out of love, then Christ is in the things I am doing.

New Years Eve

Weston (pic from
Facebook)

I did so well at writing every day!  And then I forgot to write on New Years Eve!  My favorite things about New Years Eve are that our nephew Weston came to hang out with us in the evening, and Derek was with me when I had PRP done on my upper hamstring. 

Weston told us stories about their family's trip to Mexico, played Psych with us, and he watched an old Pink Panther movie with his cousins (I went to bed).  At the Doctor's office I was the Dr.'s last appointment and we got moved to 3 different rooms.  One we just sat in and answered questions, the next one I had my blood drawn in and changed into hilarious shorts, and the next one I actually laid on the table and had all of the poking done.  I was told it would be really painful, and during the procedure I did squish Derek's arm a lot, but I slept really well last night and it actually hurts less this morning than it has for a while. 

Derek and me in one of those
rooms we were in.

Using the crutches is a royal pain though.  My upper body strength is almost non existent and so my shoulders hurt more than my original injury and my hands feel bruised and it's been less than a day!  Maybe I'll become really strong by the end of two weeks!

And now it's 2020.  Happy New Year!!!