How Do We Choose What To Give?

I figured a Christmas picture would work with the topic of giving!

For Christmas I got a book called The Intellectual Devotional.  It covers 7 different subjects and rotates through them.  One page for every day of the year.  One of the pages was about Cain and Abel from the bible.  This version was a written a little differently than the KJV of the Bible and it made me think.  Here is the quote:

"It is said that Abel thought very hard about what kind of sacrifice would make God happiest.  He decided to sacrifice one of his precious lambs.  Cain, on the other hand, thought only about what he needed least.  He sacrificed some fruit and grain.  God clearly preferred Abel's sacrifice."

This made me think about my giving.  We know from Matthew 25:40 that anything we do (or don't do) for anyone is like doing it to God himself.  So when I help others do I stop and think about what God would want me to do for them the most?  Or do I think of how I can help in the least inconvenient, and most enjoyable way for me?  I know I have a hard time pushing myself out of my comfort zone, but what if doing so would be the most helpful thing for someone -- and therefore the most helpful thing for God? 

I'm sure we often do good things without thinking of God at all and that's not all bad!  At least we are giving!  But I hope to not ever choose to give only the thing that is the least inconvenient, the easiest and most comfortable thing to give.

Trisa, Dan and Jake

Derek's legs, Kayli and Bryce.  Chewy is the Golden Retriever and Teddy is wearing his plaid.

Deliberately Grateful

Kayli with Grandpa C.
Kayli is very grateful for grandparents!

 For every month of the year that I have Home and Hospitality as my goal, I chose a word to contemplate.  This months word is "deliberate" -- as in deliberately grateful, not deliberating what to be grateful over!  

When I was growing up, we had a blessing on the food every time we ate.  I think this is a good idea.  Unfortunately, I know that I at least, got really good at rolling the same prayer out before every meal and then complaining that I didn't like the food that had been prepared and I wanted a peanut butter sandwich instead.  Or maybe I said the prayer in a hurry, and hardly tasted the food as I swallowed quickly and got on to the next thing.  It is so easy to get so used to something that you don't really pay attention to it anymore!

I still get caught in this trap at meal times.  Do I stop to realize how many people in the world don't have 3 meals a day -- let alone snack time?  Do I think about what it took to grow the food, or get it to the store, or prepare it? Do I take each bite with gratitude for the plenty that is around me?  Do I savor the food, or eat it without thought?  Do I say I am grateful without taking the time to actually BE grateful?  I am often guilty of all of these things.

There are a lot of things we can be deliberate about, but I don't know if any of them will help us feel joy as much as being deliberately grateful.  Through many, many experiences in the last years, I have found that being grateful was the solution to my sadness or worry.  It changes my perspective, and my focus. It allows me to want to share, to have energy for giving, and to notice good things even during hard times.  It is my plan to be deliberately grateful!

It is super easy to be grateful for Brigham!!!!

This Hospitality Is For The Birds

These wild turkeys are the biggest birds our bird feeders attract.  They come because the other birds are messy and drop a lot of seed onto the floor. 

These little birds are, I think, house sparrows.  They show up in big groups, though it's hard for me to get a picture of the big group.  They see me move when I go to hold up my camera and they take off.  I spend a lot of breakfasts watching them eat, fly in a circle, and eat again.  They land on each others heads trying to get to the big birdfeeder!

Photo by Mark Olsen on Unsplash

I saw one of these cute birds the other day (a tufted titmouse).  I see mountain bluebirds quite often too.  Apparently they are known for being bird feeder bullies.  All of the other birds leave the bluebirds alone at the feeder most of the time.

I love watching the birds.  They are funny, entertaining, and beautiful.  They bring a little good cheer every time I watch them!

Our House: The Main Floor

This picture was taken right inside the front door.
Welcome to our home!

If you ignore the piano room on the left (because it is messy so the barn doors are closed) and you walk forward and take your first left -- you will find the coat closet on the left, and the master bedroom on the right.

Same room.  Different view.

Yet another same room.

This is the view through the master bath to the master closet.  There is a shower behind the door on the right and a nice tub you can sort of see after that.  On the left are two sinks and a toilet room.  In the closet are clothes and books, and other random things.

If you walk straight in from the front door you get to the "great room".  The barn doors above go to the game room.  Notice we have a basketball hoop we can play with -- mostly when Teddy is gone because he loves to play too -- which is not good for our sort of basketballs.  

This is the view from the family room part of the "great room".  This is Mount Loafer.  We watch birds, including turkeys, and deer through these windows.  It's our very own nature channel!

This is our dining room.  I love it!  There is plenty of room for the table to be its largest all of the time so we are ready for guests always, and we still have room to see through and walk out the sliding doors without anything being in the way!  It also has a view on three sides.  What's not to like?

This is our kitchen.  I absolutely love the countertops and pretty much everything really.  Derek and I put in the backsplash over Christmas break.

This is the office / sun room right off the kitchen and dining room.  I have pretty much taken it over and it is one of my favorite places to hang out.  It is where I am creating this blog!  I redid the chair and the bench for a fun project.

This is the family room looking towards the stairs and the coat closet.

The laundry room is great.  On the wall opposite of this picture all of the brooms, mops, and dustpans are hanging.  Almost.  We somehow ended up with extra brooms and dustpans at our new house so some are downstairs or in the garage.  The closet  next to the washer and holds cleaning supplies, and other stuff.

The cupboards with the cow handles are in the mud room area across from the entry to the garage.  The 1/2 bath is decorated by a picture Tia gave me for Christmas a few years ago (she did it with a paint by numbers and I am impressed that she was willing to give me something she worked so hard on!).  I found the rug to match:-)

This is the piano room.  Part of it really.  We've been quarantining for quite a while and the red couch in the piano room has been a sleeping area for poor Derek who got the miserable Covid.  This picture gets a few of the dirty kleenex but I didn't think you needed to see them all!

I added this because you can see the arm of the red couch in the piano room.  I thought I had already taken a picture of the whole thing -- but I can't find it!

When we are done with quarantine and everyone heads off to work again I can more easily get pictures of the upstairs rooms.  I can give you a couple of the unfinished basement and -- of course -- one day the yard won't be muddy and I'll head out to get updated pictures of the outside of the house.  Mine are all old.  I hope this was somewhat helpful to those who haven't been here.  You are always welcome -- when we aren't quarantining.

A Leash On a Snake

 Last night I dreamed that I was trying to put a leash on a snake.  I was afraid of the snake and so I was begging someone else to leash it for me.  That's really all I remember about my dream other than that the snake seemed to travel with me and I was often trying to find it -- though I wasn't sure I wanted to.

Now obviously this isn't a really profound dream.  But as I was trying to think of what to write about today I thought about the little vices we get attached to and justify as ok.  They are not "that bad".  We have control.  Right?  We have leashed our snake and so it is safe to take with us.  Never mind that sometimes leashed things take their owners for walks and not the other way around.  We take them with us wherever we go -- and sometimes they take us somewhere we don't want to go.  We can get to loving our snakes (or vices, or bad habits or sins) so much that we miss them when we try to get rid of them.  We might even keep them even though a part of us is afraid of them.

Now for all of the real snake lovers out there -- I am obviously not talking about real snakes.  I would never try to leash a real snake.  Especially a poisonous one!  It is a good idea though for me to look at what I think and do and see if I am carrying around with me some kind of "snake" that I think I have control of -- but which is really not good for me to keep!  

Moments

I enjoyed finding the deer, hidden in the snow.

There are moments that really don't go well.  Communication is bad, and feelings are hurt.  As people, we don't always agree with one another.  We have hidden hurts that make us more vulnerable than people might think.  We try to put on a happy front, and to just be okay.  Okay that we were misunderstood, or are misunderstanding.  Okay to not agree with people we love.  Okay with feeling attacked, when perhaps someone was really trying to help.  These are the hard moments.  These are the moments when we feel like hiding, or lashing out, or eating piles of ice cream and watching our favorite show!

Thankfully there are other moments.  Moments of feeling better than we expect.  Moments when people reach out in gratitude for some small thing that we did.  There are moments when we "run into" a friend when we didn't expect to, and they are so happy to see us.  There are hugs from family, and unexpected laughter. Sometimes there is even help when we need it, but didn't want to ask for it.  I also like the moments when we are reminded that God gives us grace, which allows us to move forward, finding peaceful moments again.  

I try hard to keep my focus on the good moments, not to hide from the hard things, but to gather strength for the challenges ahead.  Even in the hard moments, it is helpful to know that it is really only a moment.  Time will move on, and there are better moments ahead!

Celebrate!

 At our house we have people that love to make goals, usually the one or two word kind, and we have those who are anti-goals.  They are NOT anti-progress but for their own reasons they do not enjoy goals.  I pick a new goal every year, and sometimes if I quit enjoying or progressing on the goal I chose, I pick another one, even if it is the middle of the year.  This year I chose Home and Hospitality, but there are so many words that can be chosen!

Kayli read  a book where the author (Sadie Robertson) chose for her one word goal the word "Celebrate"!  She wanted to celebrate the fact that God is good.  I really like this idea.  It is a way to deliberately take the time to be grateful for the good things, and to be joyful about them.  It is a chance to realize that God likes us to celebrate the gifts we are given.  He wants us to have joy!

On Sunday, while teaching Sunday school I told the youth that I am pretty sure that if we understood what it really means to be redeemed and what a great gift this is we would all be happier.  We would rejoice more, and beat ourselves up less.  We would give ourselves grace like God does, and be happier to learn the truth about how we could do better.

So this year I have added "Celebrate" to my "Home and Hospitality" goal.  And, even if you are anti-goal, it might be fun to take at least a day and try to notice all of the things that God has given us to celebrate! 

Some Great Thing

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day and he is an example of someone who made a big difference to a lot of people.  I really like the idea of making a difference, and not just a difference, but a BIG difference.  That means that I have to watch out for "The Greatness Trap" (I put that in quotes as if it isn't something I just made up :-).  This is the trap where we become dissatisfied with what seems the very small, or even non-existent difference we are making in the world.  We get stuck being unsatisfied with what we can do, and so we contemplate what great thing we could do, without really doing anything.  It really seems unlikely that there will ever be a Sherie Day to celebrate the great difference that I make!

The good news?  I may not make a "great" difference to so many people that they create a national day in my honor, but I can make a great difference to a neighbor, a child, a friend, or even a stranger.  I may even make this difference without being aware of how important what I did was.  Sometimes greatness is doing the little things.  It is getting up to say goodbye to your kids when they head out the door.  It is listening to someone when you are tired, or smiling at someone who feels alone.  It is sending a note to let someone know they are appreciated, or doing the laundry so your family has something clean to wear.

Doing something great doesn't require us to travel to a different country, or to have our words published in a text book for generations to read.  Even someone who can't move can do a great thing by praying for someone.  It may never be known by others, but it will make a difference just the same.  So as we celebrate the great difference Martin Luther King Jr. made, we can quietly do the littler things for the people around us, and that will add up to making a BIG difference to someone.   

Hospitality for Self

 

I can't take credit for the poem that follows.  I found it in my Fall 2021 Magnolia Magazine and I found it to be a useful thing to think about.  I really believe that God expects us to love ourselves -- not in a narcissistic way, but as He does.  We can recognize our faults without dwelling on them.  We can focus on the good we can do and the wonderful gifts we have been born with.  It seems like I have never been helped by calling myself stupid, or ugly, or any number of other negative adjectives.  I also have not been helped by listening to, and internalizing any unkind words that have been said about me.  

I hope you enjoy this poem as much as I do!

On Loving Yourself

Are you still holding back?

Are you still biting your tongue?

Do you still replay their unkind words?

That moment you felt less than?

That hurt.

It still hurts.

Does it make you think twice?

Does it cause you to hesitate?

Does it still paralyze you?

Did it change the way you talk to yourself?

When did you stop being kind to yourself?

Can you remember?

Were you ever?

Because you should be.

Because you’re good.

And because you’re loved.

So, be kind to yourself

And pick yourself up.

And open  your chest.

And take a deep breath.

And tell yourself the true things,

The things that you’ve convinced

Yourself are lies.

And say them again and

Again and again.

And, with clenched fists,

Declare that you are good,

Declare that you are loved.

And no events

Or circumstances or ups or downs

Or any person

Or any person’s careless words

Can keep you from being loved

Because you are worthy of it.

So, pick yourself up

And be love

FORWARD MOTION

What Manner of Man is This?

Picture by Ted Henninger

What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!

Long ago, when my children were afraid of the dark, I wrote a song about the story of Jesus sleeping on the ship while the giant waves, blown by a rough wind, filled the boat with water and threatened to sink it.  

The disciples. Jesus’ friends.  Were afraid.

  Did they not have reason to fear?

Even if they could swim – could they swim in such waves and survive?

Boats don’t float once they are full of water. And the rain, wind and waves were filling the boat faster than they could throw the water back into the sea!

Are our lives not the same sometimes?  

Don’t we have reason to fear?

This “thing” we have to deal with, no matter what it is, is surely our storm.

We may feel like we don’t really know how to swim, and that the boat already sank, and how in the world are we going to make it through the storm?

Doesn’t it seem a little like Jesus is asleep, forgetting that we only know the doggie paddle and we are getting ever so tired?

How can we find Jesus in the storm anyway?  And is it even worth trying?  

Maybe doggie paddling until we finally give up and sink is as good as it gets?

And if He loves us, won’t He come to us?

Where is His light in our darkness?

Back on the boat the disciples went to Jesus.  They woke Him up and said, 

“Lord, save us; we perish.”  

And what did He say?  Did He say, “I’m so sorry I was asleep and you were afraid?  

Or, “why didn’t you just tell the storm to go away?” 

 Nope.  

He said, “Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?”

Doesn’t that seem harsh?  Wasn’t it obvious why they were afraid?  

Wouldn’t everyone be?  

Strangely, the answer must be no.  Not everyone would be afraid, but why?  

Is it because they swim better?  They have confidence they can swim until the end of the storm?  But have they thought about how far away the land might be?

It turns out, that even though we haven’t seen Jesus.

We are still His friends.  We have a chance to know the answer to the question.

“What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!”

We can know that He is with us in the ship, or on the journey, and during the whole of every storm.

What manner of man is this?

He is the one who saves.

He is the one who redeems.

He is the one who loves.

He is God

With us.

He can calm the the winds, and the waves,

Or He can calm us while they rage.

He can heal all of the wounds and hurts we have received,

And give us the confidence we lack.

He knows how to create a world,

And He knows how to shine a light in the darkest corners of our minds

To chase away the fear.

He is never the one condemning us for not getting things right,

Or for having what seems to us a harder time than anyone else.

He is never pointing His finger and laughing at us,

Or whispering things that make us feel small and alone.

He is not trying to keep truth away from us.

He is not hiding the things that will help us.

He is our Brother.

Our very Good Brother.

He is the one that says to us,

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name,

You are mine.”

(Isaiah 43:1)

Sometimes we cannot see Him in our darkness.

Sometimes we close our eyes, because we are afraid.

Afraid He won’t be there.

Afraid He won’t come.

Afraid He won’t help us when things are hard.

Afraid we are hopeless.

My dear Family and Friends

Please remember that our feelings of hopelessness, and worthlessness.

Our feeling that we are too stupid, or too foolish

Are not from Jesus.

Never ever from Jesus.

He is always reaching out with loving hands to help you find peace.

To help you see humor.

To help you know that, as His child, and the child of our Father,

You will never, ever be worthless.

Always, always,

Because of Jesus.

There is hope.