Building Character -- Conquering Fear

Many people know that Dan is allergic to things -- but I think that very few of us know what it feels like to have ordinary food, or ordinary parts of our environment, pose real danger for us.  Dan has been tested for food allergies more than once.  Last time they tested him for 19 different foods and he was at least mildly allergic to 13 of them and severely allergic to 3.  This past Tuesday I had him tested for other allergies.  They tested him for 48 things, and he was allergic to 43.  He was allergic to every tree, grass, and weed that he was tested for.  One of those tested higher than his allergy to peanuts, which is high, and many were close to that high.  He tested positive for 4 out of 7 molds, all three indoor inhalents (and they don't test for perfumes or chemicals which we are positive, from experience, that he is allergic to).  He is also allergic to cats, horses and feathers.

On top of having to deal with the anxiety of being allergic to so many things, and the reactions he might have, he often has to deal with kids who don't understand and who threaten to touch him with cheese or milk on their hands thinking that they are being funny.  It is not funny to Dan.  Hives are itchy and miserable.  He put his elbow on our table last night and got hives from the milk that wasn't cleaned up properly, but was invisible to the eye.  "Reward" days at school often include pizza or ice cream, and I don't often know about it and so he is left with no reward, and the chance to sit in a room full of things that will give him hives if he touches them, or is touched by someone who touches them!

Dan finds comfort in Teddy
who he is, thankfully,
no allergic to.

Dan has long been a fan of Calvin and Hobbes.  We laugh when the Dad gives Calvin jobs to do and tells him that it will build character.  I think dealing with allergies is, or at least can be, character building.  Dan has had to learn to be forgiving, he has had to learn how to handle being excluded -- often by accident, and he has had to learn to be careful, and observant.  He has to get up every day and conquer the fear that comes with not knowing what he might react to that day.  He has had to deal with panic attacks, and asthma attacks, or one causing the other.  Through all of these challenges, Dan has faith in Christ.  When I didn't know how to help him the other day, I sent him to school with a scripture written down and kept in his pocket to pull out and read.  He said that it helped.  I will end with that, because we all need courage for whatever our challenges are too.

Testing Out Refinishing Methods

Today, after accomplishing lots of awesome things, I decided to start working on my table.  I wanted to see if removing layers of paint with chemicals, or the sander would work better.  Which method would win?

I added the goo (not it's real name) to one side of the table before lunch, and went out to try scraping it about 2 hours later.
Ugggg.

Before scraping, I started sanding the other side of the table with the belt sander.  That thing is powerful!  It could probably pull me around the block!  Naturally my arms are sore, and they would be muscular if muscles grew really fast.  When my arms were super tired of sanding I scraped, and when I was discouraged with scraping I sanded.  I finally gave up on the goo and tried cleaning it up.  That didn't work so well.  The goo turned the paint to the consistency of chewing gum.

In the goo's defense, it is supposed to be used in warmer weather.  It also could have been left on all night, which may have been a better plan because of the cold.  Or it could have made it worse.  Who knows?  I at least learned a few things -- like it is easier to sand if I can kneel on the table to keep the sander from pulling it here and there.  I also learned what I should have realized.  Sanding is a messy job!

I decided a shower and a change of clothes were in order.  Tomorrow I can get a different set of clothes dirty -- unless my arms need a day or two to recover:-)

A Present Kind Of Day

Today was busy.  I got more steps today than I have in a long time -- probably because they put me on the treadmill at physical therapy to see if there was some way I could adjust my walking to put less pressure on my hamstrings.  The answer?  Not really.  I got a new balancing exercise today that is kind of fun though.  That is good.  I was tired of doing exactly the same thing -- so I got to trade a couple of exercises out.  Bring on the Monster walks!

I went shopping today for groceries and cleaned out the fridge when I got home --  I mean really cleaned it instead of sort of cleaned it like usual.  I visited with Derek's Mom, and then came home where I received a couple of gifts.

A friend of mine has been learning to carve, and I found out she carves comfort birds and asked if I could have one (You know -- can I have a present please?).  She brought some for me to choose from.  That was hard!  Kayli got one too.  Here's mine.

I put it next to my ring holder elephant so you could kind of see what size it is.  It fits in the palm of my hand and is very smooth.  They can be comforting to hold.  It is beautiful and ended up matching my desk pretty well!

For Valentine's Day we told the kids they could pick a book on Amazon.  I have a pile of books I'm behind on reading and I keep checking things out on the online library anyway!  I decided I would try overalls again and so I bought those instead.  They were a bit over the book budget, but I'm the Mom so it's ok :-)  Last time I had a pair of overalls I was asked if I was pregnant -- and I wasn't (I think that was about 25 years ago).  I never wore them again.  Sad.  My hair is kind of white now so maybe nobody will ask this time :-?

These are for spring or summer.  I'm looking forward to spring and summer.  I pruned the rose bushes today.  I'm hoping to get to my sage tomorrow.  I'll just need to wear a mask because I'm allergic to sage (though I can eat it fine) and I learned last year that trimming them without a mask was a miserable idea.

I got to talk to Trisa for a while this evening, and Tia for a minute, and Derek made dinner.  Derek, Jake, Dan, Teddy and I played ping pong (We try not to let Teddy play, but sometimes the ball lands in his mouth.  Oops!)  I am tired, but besides Dan not feeling well for a lot of the day, the day was a good one.

Amanda's Finished Fairy House

Amanda was able to come finish her fairy house before she and Connor had to head back to college.  It turned out cute!  She looks really cute too.  I am glad she could come.

"Comparison Always Leads To Carnality"

This is what I heard on the Christian radio station.  The speaker clarified this by saying that when we compare ourselves to others, it always leads to sin.  I thought that was interesting to think about.  If I compare myself to you and find myself wanting then I am being ungrateful for who I am and what I can do, and I probably am not rejoicing in your accomplishments, looks, or talents -- I am coveting them.

If, on the other hand, I compare myself to you and find you wanting, I am not judging you in the way that Jesus would, by looking on the heart, and I am being prideful, and thinking myself above you. 

I do not really know if there is any way to compare ourselves to others without it leading to sin.  It is so natural to look at what someone else can do, or how they look, and compare it to ourselves.  I guess the trick is to be observant, but to take ourselves out of it, being happy for every good thing we observe in others, and remembering that what we all have, we have by the grace of God.

Photo by Dietmar Becker on Unsplash

Meaningful Conversations

It seemed more fun to put a picture of monkeys having "meaningful conversation"
than two random strangers.

I have occasionally been a part of conversations that, after a while feel more like gossip than something useful, or just never touch on anything important.  Sometimes there just isn't time to go too deep, but I liked this quote from the Magnolia Journal:

"Chances are that what you're struggling with, others are too; what you want to talk about, others do too; what life questions you're asking, they're asking themselves too.  Open up yourself, and others will follow."

For a while I was asking everyone I could how to create stronger connections with people who are diverse in life experiences, situations, and interests.  I had a lot of really good conversations with people about what had helped them, and what had not.  It is a great idea to think about issues we wonder about, or need help with, or even that we're interested in getting another perspective on, and start asking questions -- perhaps sharing our own thoughts and experiences first.

Photo by Mihai Surdu on Unsplash

Fun Making Fairy Houses

I wish I had remembered to get a picture of everyone working on their houses -- but I only managed to get Avery!  I love Avery!  We also had Trisa, Tia, Kayli, Amanda, Connor, and Me.  You can see that our table was full of stuff!

I had two large pots in my shed.  I started one a week or two ago and Kayli gamely started the other.  Connor was tasked with finishing that one, and Kayli got a smaller one to do.  Connor and Tia and maybe Amanda are planning to work on theirs tomorrow.

This is Trisa's.  So cute!

This is the other side of Trisa's.  The door.

This is Avery's.  I think her fairies like a little bling!

The other side of hers.

The one on the left is Amanda.  I wonder how many of you will know why she painted the door that way!  The one on the right is mine.

Of course, if you have a fairy house, you should have at least one fairy!
I have 4.  I had fun picking fairies for the girls -- trying to find something they would like.
I forgot to take pictures of them though.  Trisa's had two fairies reading together, Tia's had a fairy doing another fairy's hair, Kayli's had some animal friends, Avery's was playing the harp (and had some animal friends), Amanda's had two fairies and I could imagine the bigger fairy helping the younger one be happy!  Amanda's Mom couldn't come but I gave her a girl fairy and a boy one because she has two kids; a girl one, and a boy one :-)

We made a pretty good mess -- but it was fun!

Valentine's Day at Our House

Derek took the picture.  It was nice of him to cut out the mess in the kitchen!

Valentine's Day started like any normal Friday.  Derek went off early to play basketball, the boys went to school and Kayli went to work.  I did a few things and then fell asleep for an hour.  It wasn't until I woke up that I remembered it was Valentine's Day!  Derek didn't neglect me.  He got me beautiful flowers a few days ago, and had texted to wish me a happy day, but the sound was off on my phone and I slept through it.

Derek was able to come home early so we went to the temple.  Now we are waiting to be joined by Trisa, Connor, Chewy and our nephew Weston.  I did remember Valentine's day earlier in the week so once I remembered I just needed to get the things out that I had gotten.  Usually we just get everyone a book.  This year I didn't want to try to guess what books everyone would enjoy so they are going to pick their own.

I wanted to put some kind of quote on the table but I finally decided that I could just say what I wanted to say without quoting anyone else.  There is joy to be found in loving one another!  Happy Valentine's Day!

I Can Be Patient. I Hope.

On my latest trip to Deseret Industries to look around I found a table.  It cost $12 and I decided to buy it.

It is solid wood, just like the red "desk" that I bought last year.  It used to be a leaf table -- but there wasn't a leaf.  So my plan?  Take it apart.  I've accomplished that.  Strip the paint off and sand it and see what it looks like underneath.  Glue the two sides together and try to make it look like one piece.  And then refinish it. 

The plan is to use it on the back porch.  I could paint a checkerboard on it, or make it a map table.  (I've been looking on Pinterest again).  Or, I could just make it an ordinary solid wood table -- stained or painted.  We'll see.  I do know that I have a lack of patience when it comes to sanding and so I figure I'd better hang a sign up somewhere that says, "I can be patient!" and then I need to actually be patient so it will look decent. 

Jake Grew Up!

Today (the 12th) -- Jake turned 18.

Jake getting ready to open presents while I "help" by taking a selfie.

Teddy wants to help, and Derek is getting a peak under the jacket hood.

More slow unwrapping.  Jake likes to open presents slowly and torture the crowd.

Jake's great smile and Derek helping hold up his gifts.

And again -- only only Derek's hands are in the picture.

And now who is the gift?  Kayli!!!!

Jake is great!  He has a great smile, is a thoughtful, skilled helper, and is the designated spider smasher downstairs.  If Kayli needs a spider "taken care of" or something fixed -- she calls Jake.  I can't believe how fast 18 years went by and now all but Dan are taller than me -- and I'm sure he'll get there too!

Finding the Root

When the root is not pulled, the dandelion will grow back.
Photo by Denis Agati on Unsplash

Monday on the Christian radio station someone said that, in order to solve a problem, you must first find the root -- the reason that the problem exists in the first place.

For example, if you had a leak in your house, continually mopping up the water is not going to solve the problem.  We would have to find the hole and fix it.  If we sin, it is helpful to know why.  Maybe I am caring more what people think than what God thinks.  Maybe I'm feeling lonely or stressed, and a distraction helps me forget.  Maybe someone -- even myself -- told me something negative about me and I believed it, and decided God doesn't love me, and so there is no reason to follow His laws.

When we know the why of what we are doing -- then we can work on a solution, and the sin will be easier to say goodbye to.  I think one of the best things to do to help is to study scripture and try to understand just how much we need our Savior, and just how much God loves us.  The more we trust Him and turn to Him the easier it will be to say no to sin.  We will still be tempted, but our love for God will act as a kind of shield.  God will help us find the root of our sins and eradicate them!

Mercy

I was listening to Emily Freeman and David Butler and the subject of Mercy came up.  Emily has been studying it very recently and the definition she came up with is this:  Mercy = Active Compassion.

Jesus has mercy on us.  He has compassion, and actively and willingly performed the Atonement for us so that we could have the chance to repent and so that death will not be a permanent thing.

Emily gave the example of a Mother as being actively compassionate as she allows a baby to grow inside her.  She actively gives nutrients, energy, and a place for the baby to grow.  She gives up her shape, and often her ability to do things she has always done -- at least for a while.

This is Valentine's Day week.  It is a hard week for some.  It is a good week (not that there is ever a bad one) to give active compassion to those around us, especially anyone that we know will be struggling.  Of course, it is also a good week for those who are hurting to try to work through the hurt and find enough energy to have mercy on someone else.  Even if no one else sees or appreciates our efforts, for sure Heavenly Father will!

Photo by J W on Unsplash

Pictures!

The first picture is our beautiful Trisa.  We were taking this for Connor whose name she had for Christmas.  There is an ongoing thing at our house about being "the gift".  In this case, Trisa was the gift!  I know that having her in our family feels like a large gift to all of us.  She is beautiful, thoughtful, smart, kind, helpful, and a generally all around great person.  We love our Trisa gift.

Quinn, Tonya, Derek and Me at Quinn and Tonya's house in St. George.
It was fun to get to visit them!

My Mom with Lizzy and Dan at my parent's house in St. George

Sherie (Me), Derek, and Kayli at the Hale Center Theater in Orem

Dan, Jake and Me at the Hale Center Theater

Derek got us play tickets for this past snowy Monday -- one of those rare snow days in our school district.  The roads were fine by evening.  The play was a lot of fun.  Unfortunately Dan got a stomach ache and Derek ended up taking him out to the car to lay on the seat (with the heater running).  They missed most of the last half.  My explanation of the last half was rambling at best.  It did end in a happy way though, and I'm sure I got that across at least even if I couldn't reproduce any of the hilarity.