Celebrate!

 At our house we have people that love to make goals, usually the one or two word kind, and we have those who are anti-goals.  They are NOT anti-progress but for their own reasons they do not enjoy goals.  I pick a new goal every year, and sometimes if I quit enjoying or progressing on the goal I chose, I pick another one, even if it is the middle of the year.  This year I chose Home and Hospitality, but there are so many words that can be chosen!

Kayli read  a book where the author (Sadie Robertson) chose for her one word goal the word "Celebrate"!  She wanted to celebrate the fact that God is good.  I really like this idea.  It is a way to deliberately take the time to be grateful for the good things, and to be joyful about them.  It is a chance to realize that God likes us to celebrate the gifts we are given.  He wants us to have joy!

On Sunday, while teaching Sunday school I told the youth that I am pretty sure that if we understood what it really means to be redeemed and what a great gift this is we would all be happier.  We would rejoice more, and beat ourselves up less.  We would give ourselves grace like God does, and be happier to learn the truth about how we could do better.

So this year I have added "Celebrate" to my "Home and Hospitality" goal.  And, even if you are anti-goal, it might be fun to take at least a day and try to notice all of the things that God has given us to celebrate! 

Some Great Thing

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day and he is an example of someone who made a big difference to a lot of people.  I really like the idea of making a difference, and not just a difference, but a BIG difference.  That means that I have to watch out for "The Greatness Trap" (I put that in quotes as if it isn't something I just made up :-).  This is the trap where we become dissatisfied with what seems the very small, or even non-existent difference we are making in the world.  We get stuck being unsatisfied with what we can do, and so we contemplate what great thing we could do, without really doing anything.  It really seems unlikely that there will ever be a Sherie Day to celebrate the great difference that I make!

The good news?  I may not make a "great" difference to so many people that they create a national day in my honor, but I can make a great difference to a neighbor, a child, a friend, or even a stranger.  I may even make this difference without being aware of how important what I did was.  Sometimes greatness is doing the little things.  It is getting up to say goodbye to your kids when they head out the door.  It is listening to someone when you are tired, or smiling at someone who feels alone.  It is sending a note to let someone know they are appreciated, or doing the laundry so your family has something clean to wear.

Doing something great doesn't require us to travel to a different country, or to have our words published in a text book for generations to read.  Even someone who can't move can do a great thing by praying for someone.  It may never be known by others, but it will make a difference just the same.  So as we celebrate the great difference Martin Luther King Jr. made, we can quietly do the littler things for the people around us, and that will add up to making a BIG difference to someone.   

Hospitality for Self

 

I can't take credit for the poem that follows.  I found it in my Fall 2021 Magnolia Magazine and I found it to be a useful thing to think about.  I really believe that God expects us to love ourselves -- not in a narcissistic way, but as He does.  We can recognize our faults without dwelling on them.  We can focus on the good we can do and the wonderful gifts we have been born with.  It seems like I have never been helped by calling myself stupid, or ugly, or any number of other negative adjectives.  I also have not been helped by listening to, and internalizing any unkind words that have been said about me.  

I hope you enjoy this poem as much as I do!

On Loving Yourself

Are you still holding back?

Are you still biting your tongue?

Do you still replay their unkind words?

That moment you felt less than?

That hurt.

It still hurts.

Does it make you think twice?

Does it cause you to hesitate?

Does it still paralyze you?

Did it change the way you talk to yourself?

When did you stop being kind to yourself?

Can you remember?

Were you ever?

Because you should be.

Because you’re good.

And because you’re loved.

So, be kind to yourself

And pick yourself up.

And open  your chest.

And take a deep breath.

And tell yourself the true things,

The things that you’ve convinced

Yourself are lies.

And say them again and

Again and again.

And, with clenched fists,

Declare that you are good,

Declare that you are loved.

And no events

Or circumstances or ups or downs

Or any person

Or any person’s careless words

Can keep you from being loved

Because you are worthy of it.

So, pick yourself up

And be love

FORWARD MOTION

What Manner of Man is This?

Picture by Ted Henninger

What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!

Long ago, when my children were afraid of the dark, I wrote a song about the story of Jesus sleeping on the ship while the giant waves, blown by a rough wind, filled the boat with water and threatened to sink it.  

The disciples. Jesus’ friends.  Were afraid.

  Did they not have reason to fear?

Even if they could swim – could they swim in such waves and survive?

Boats don’t float once they are full of water. And the rain, wind and waves were filling the boat faster than they could throw the water back into the sea!

Are our lives not the same sometimes?  

Don’t we have reason to fear?

This “thing” we have to deal with, no matter what it is, is surely our storm.

We may feel like we don’t really know how to swim, and that the boat already sank, and how in the world are we going to make it through the storm?

Doesn’t it seem a little like Jesus is asleep, forgetting that we only know the doggie paddle and we are getting ever so tired?

How can we find Jesus in the storm anyway?  And is it even worth trying?  

Maybe doggie paddling until we finally give up and sink is as good as it gets?

And if He loves us, won’t He come to us?

Where is His light in our darkness?

Back on the boat the disciples went to Jesus.  They woke Him up and said, 

“Lord, save us; we perish.”  

And what did He say?  Did He say, “I’m so sorry I was asleep and you were afraid?  

Or, “why didn’t you just tell the storm to go away?” 

 Nope.  

He said, “Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?”

Doesn’t that seem harsh?  Wasn’t it obvious why they were afraid?  

Wouldn’t everyone be?  

Strangely, the answer must be no.  Not everyone would be afraid, but why?  

Is it because they swim better?  They have confidence they can swim until the end of the storm?  But have they thought about how far away the land might be?

It turns out, that even though we haven’t seen Jesus.

We are still His friends.  We have a chance to know the answer to the question.

“What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!”

We can know that He is with us in the ship, or on the journey, and during the whole of every storm.

What manner of man is this?

He is the one who saves.

He is the one who redeems.

He is the one who loves.

He is God

With us.

He can calm the the winds, and the waves,

Or He can calm us while they rage.

He can heal all of the wounds and hurts we have received,

And give us the confidence we lack.

He knows how to create a world,

And He knows how to shine a light in the darkest corners of our minds

To chase away the fear.

He is never the one condemning us for not getting things right,

Or for having what seems to us a harder time than anyone else.

He is never pointing His finger and laughing at us,

Or whispering things that make us feel small and alone.

He is not trying to keep truth away from us.

He is not hiding the things that will help us.

He is our Brother.

Our very Good Brother.

He is the one that says to us,

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name,

You are mine.”

(Isaiah 43:1)

Sometimes we cannot see Him in our darkness.

Sometimes we close our eyes, because we are afraid.

Afraid He won’t be there.

Afraid He won’t come.

Afraid He won’t help us when things are hard.

Afraid we are hopeless.

My dear Family and Friends

Please remember that our feelings of hopelessness, and worthlessness.

Our feeling that we are too stupid, or too foolish

Are not from Jesus.

Never ever from Jesus.

He is always reaching out with loving hands to help you find peace.

To help you see humor.

To help you know that, as His child, and the child of our Father,

You will never, ever be worthless.

Always, always,

Because of Jesus.

There is hope.

Miracles Among The Hardships

The First Christmas
Used by permission from Churchofjesuschrist.org

 Mary, barely more than a child herself, was asked to carry the Son of God.  This she agreed to without hesitation, even though the road before her would be hard, and sometimes lonely.

Joseph, a kind and gentle man, was visited by an angel and asked to take Mary to wife, even though she carried a child that was not His.  He would be the step father of God’s only Begotten Son!  What a gift!  And yet, what a burden!  Surely Joseph wondered if he was really up to the task!  

Mary’s cousin Elizabeth, older and past the time when children could come to her without a miracle, received the miracle she and Zacharia had hoped for.  She too would bear a child and he would have the Holy Ghost from birth.  Indeed, John knew, even in the womb, when he was in the presence of the Son of God (months before Jesus would be born – or even John himself!)

Joseph and Mary, young, but nervous, traveled to Bethlehem where Mary would give birth to her firstborn child without the help of her mother, or any known relatives.  She had Joseph, and no doubt was grateful that he was there in the lowly stable with her.  Surely angels hovered nearby filled with wonder and excitement!

Shepherds, sitting in a field keeping watch over their flock were, perhaps, contemplating when the Savior would come.  Imagine their surprise to see and hear not just one angel, but a whole heavenly host who were singing, and praising God!  They must have been torn between wanting to bow down with their faces to the ground and wanting to look up and take in the incredible scene before them!

These are strange and incredible things, and there were more!  John, feeling unworthy, baptizing his cousin in the river Jordan and hearing Heavenly Father’s voice.  The Son of God, the great Creator, allowing people to spit on Him, taunt Him, beat Him, and in the end to nail him to the cross.  And then the resurrection itself!  Joy after such devastation!

And now?  Are there still strange and incredible things?  Yes!  There are the miracles of new birth.  Of springtime after a frozen winter.  There are answered prayers, and strength for the weak.  There is compassion for the weary, and hope for the hopeless.  

There are always miracles if we just have eyes to see.  If we can let go of our aches and hurts. Our sorrows and disappointments.  Our weaknesses and sin.  If we can take them, and hand them to the child born in a stable, who grew from grace to grace until He knew how to give us grace when we were broken, and love when we felt unlovable. 

We may not follow a star to Christ, but we can follow a prophet, and learn of Christ through His words and actions, shared with us by those who loved Him in life, and death.  Loved so much that they died themselves rather than deny His power.  We can look for the miracles of kindness, and generosity, and smiles, and compassion.  We can look for the miracles of peaceful moments, and the beauty of creation.

During this Christmas Season, I hope all of us will have eyes to see the miracles among the hardships.  The sacrifices in the midst of tragedy.  I also hope that we will reach out with love, kindness, and understanding so that we can be the miracle in someone’s Christmas season.

(I wrote this for my parents but thought I would share it with you too!)

Welcome Home!

This is Brigham worn out after Thanksgiving.  The only thing this picture has to do with this post is that we welcome him, and his parents, into our home any time!

While waiting for our house to be built I found myself thinking a lot about hospitality.  We used to enjoy inviting people over to our house in Payson for Family Home Evening puppet shows and I liked it back in the really old days when we could have all of my brothers and sisters and their families come for Thanksgiving!  I feel that our blessings are to be shared and enjoyed with others as much as possible.    

The definition of hospitality is:  "the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors and strangers."(from the online dictionary)  I am going to use Home and Hospitality as my words of the coming year.  I added home because I feel like the family attached to the home should be received in a friendly and generous fashion too.  I don't particularly want to be totally in charge of entertaining anyone, but I do want to do better at spending time with family doing things we can all enjoy.  I am still working on subsections of the goal for each month.  There are so many good things to learn about and practice that relate to hospitality that it's hard to choose!

While waiting for our house to be built I read books on hospitality.  I really enjoyed one by Myquillyn Smith called Welcome Home. I wrote down quotes from her book that I thought would be helpful in my quest to become more hospitable.  One of my favorites is, "When I find myself focusing on me, my house, my outfit, or my stuff, it's a red flag."  Hospitality is about loving other people -- not about me!  Some of my favorite people to visit are the ones who welcome me in like family and don't apologize over some mess -- either real or imagined!  

As I learn I hope to share with you my successes and failures, and the joy of learning to love better!

Stalling

This really isn't a recent picture of our new home. 
I'd better stop stalling and take one!

 I have been stalling.  One answer to prayer I received was that I need to learn, to write, and to spend time playing and creating music.  Those are happy answers, but I am good at stalling.  I will write after I move, or I will write once we are settled, or there is ALWAYS the idea that I will write when I have something that feels a little more brilliant to say!  I will write when I'm not tired, or I don't have a headache, or when every little circumstance is perfect for writing.  But all of those things really add up to me not writing anything at all!

So, here I am not stalling.  Trying to honor the answer I received from the loving, wise, amazing creator who is Father of us all.  Even if I am not writing I am always thinking, and often studying or learning about something.  I have been thinking a lot about hospitality.  We moved into our beautiful, friendly blue house.  We are surrounded by the beauty of God's creations every single day, and I want to share the love evident in those creations with others.  I am planning to have hospitality as my word of the year, and am enjoying coming up with the best ways to implement that!

I also want to keep from forgetting all of the other words I have worked on -- including "Gratitude".  I am so grateful for my family and all of my wonderful friends and for the sweet grand baby that joined our family in October.  What a gift!

I do not want Heavenly Father to stall in answering prayers, or sending blessings, so I had better work on not stalling to do what He has told me to do!

Smiley Brigham

Not the picture hanging over the fireplace, but still one of my favorites!

Getting Out of My Own Way

 

God is good, and His creations, including all of us, have beauty to share.

The other night I started to go down the proverbial rabbit hole again.  I have a tendency to start wondering (for the millionth time) what my purpose is.  Would my husband be better off without me?  Does my family really need me?  Would people really miss me?  

God is good.  When I was struggling with this same kind of thing one day I decided to ask Heavenly Father, and then open the scriptures to see what he had to say.  A lot of times I think we really need to put some effort into getting answers, but this time I opened right to the scripture I needed, and so the other night I reminded myself that I know.  I know that my husband would not be better off without me and that I have a purpose in his life.  I know that my family really needs me and that I have a whole slew of family and friends who would miss me.  I know that I can contribute good things.  But first I have to get out of my own way.

How is that?  Well, when my thoughts start swirling, I need to remember not to focus on those thoughts, but to focus instead on what Heavenly Father says, and what Jesus said and did.  I find their words comforting, enlightening, and inspiring.  God does answer prayers.  We all have a purpose.  We are needed, wanted, and loved.  On top of all of that, even if we are sick, or bedridden, or tired, or overburdened, we have something good to contribute to the world.

Puzzles

This one was kind of hard!  It was 1000 pieces.  (I don't do the really, really hard ones with extra pieces, or pieces that all fit together no matter what and you have to find the right spot for them some other way).

I am thankful for puzzles.  I can become a little obsessed with them once I've started them, but I have really appreciated having puzzles to do in the last little while.  Both of the ones I have worked on lately belong to Jake and he worked on them with me.  I like that puzzles give me something I can do with Jake, and I like that they give me something to do when I don't want to do any of my projects.  Puzzles could be an unfortunate stalling technique, but they have sometimes been a much appreciated stress reliever!

This one is only 500 pieces and some of the pieces are really weirdly shaped, which actually may have made it easier to do.  It was a fun one.  It's hard to see, but the T-Rex is holding a knife and fork.  Apparently he's a civilized T-Rex?

The point is, that puzzles have been a blessing, and I have the next one ready to go!

Happy 33rd Anniversary to Derek and Me!

 Our anniversary is in May like Derek's birthday and, like Derek's birthday, it has already passed by.  It was on the 11th.  We celebrated on Friday afternoon and enjoyed eating lunch in the car, going to the conservation garden in West Jordan.  We then went a few other random places and out to eat.  I love my dates with Derek!

We found a trail to hike on somewhere.  It was my favorite part of our adventure.

Derek and I are standing on the bridge below when I took this picture.  It's just a little hard to tell and the bridge was over a dry river bed.

Did you know that it's kind of hard to find cacti to buy that are like these that will grow outside in our part of Utah?  There are plenty we can grow indoors but it's a little more rare to find these.

This is a little over 28 years ago with our first two girls.  
Time really goes by quickly.

Mother's Day 2021

 

Flowers from Derek.
These were some truly beautiful roses!

Derek got me some flowers for outside in my pot too, and my children always treat me very well.  I am thankful to be a Mom!  

This Mother's Day I was particularly thankful for both Derek's Mom and Mine who provided much needed listening ears to help me when I needed it.  Life throws unexpected curveballs at us sometimes and I am thankful that both Moms were available to talk to!  

I know people who have not been able to have children who still do a lot of mothering and who have made a difference in my own life and the lives of my children.  I hope they had a happy Mother's Day too.

Derek Was Born in May

 And we celebrated!  Derek is awesome.  

I decided to let you see my ridiculous artwork.  I am not really much of an artist, but I had fun drawing on Derek's present!  Derek called this a dinosaur with birth defects -- but hey he's a happy dinosaur!

It's possible that Dan thought this was an exploding log.  In case that's what you think, I'll just tell you that it is quite obviously a volcano :-)

If this isn't obviously a plant and a little piece of sun to you, then it's okay if you make up your own explanation of what I drew.  Just one more side after this.

I was asked if the stick people represented Derek and me.  Not really, I just felt like drawing stick people who were wearing hats!

I guess you can tell how old Derek is turning!  He is now old enough to live in a 55 and older neighborhood!

Derek's birthday is on Cinco de Mayo (May 5) and it's been a while since then.  We obviously did something, but I'm afraid I'm a little vague on what we did!  I think we had his birthday dinner on Sunday, and I took these pictures on his actual birthday.  I got fun plates and then we didn't really eat what I had planned and everyone just had whatever they wanted.  He didn't even get dessert.  The candles are stuck in frosting.  Maybe I'll make his more traditional birthday dessert when it's a hot day.  Homemade peach ice cream is best eaten on a warm day -- in my opinion -- but we'll eat it any day really.

I am super thankful for Derek who has a great sense of humor and who works really hard and taking care of his family in all of the ways he can.  We all love him!

Reacting With Gratitude Not Guilt

Saturday morning I slept in, and even when I woke up late I did not want to get up and face the day.  There are so many projects to do, and they all sounded hard, and staying in bed sounded easy and comfortable.  Maybe I could hide from my projects and challenges by hiding under the covers?

Derek eventually came in to check on me.  He had gotten up earlier when Teddy was crying outside.  I could see that he had already been working on one of our projects.  He went back out and back to work and I dragged myself out of bed and got moving.  My day wasn't entirely useless.  I did accomplish a few things.  It is just that Derek ended up doing a LOT more of the things we had talked about doing the day before.

Did I react with gratitude?  Sadly -- though I was grateful -- the reigning feeling was guilt.  I "should" have been up helping.  I "should" have painted shelves with Derek, or helped get the desk ready to paint, or paint the mirror frames.  Derek works so hard all week, and I was sure I had just let him down.  I was sorry.

On Sunday it dawned on me that Derek, who is always impressively good at helping, and getting things done, did not do what he did to produce guilt.  He would have appreciated my gratitude so much more!  He made progress on projects that have been stalled for months!  He did things that I really did not want to do.

I am thankful to have been reminded again that it is better to react with gratitude and not with guilt!