Walk, Work, Watch, Help, Visit, Water, Sing, Write

 

Mars Hill.  One of the places Paul taught.

The title is the list of some of the things I did today.  I walked Teddy, saying hello to some other walkers along the way.  I worked outside sweeping the truck and pulling piles of weeds.  I watched a show while making granola.  I helped at the temple, visited with people at the ward social, and watered some of our outdoor plants.  I was then thinking about how I keep forgetting to put music into my days and realized there was plenty of time to sing with my guitar before bed.  While singing, I realized I forgot to write yesterday after Mike's early birthday party and I hadn't written today either. 

I did read scriptures too.  I've been reading Romans and so I will quite writing, leaving you with one of my favorite scriptures:

"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall  be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

Brigham

 Tia sent me these pictures this morning of Brigham all ready for church.  He looks so grown up!  He came over with his Mom this evening.  I enjoy watching him SO much!  He really loves being with "Pop Pop".  Derek is good at making Brigham laugh a lot by doing all manner of silly things.  And Brigham knows that "Pop Pop" likes to give him chocolate chips!  

Brigham knows that Kayli will pretty much do anything he wants her to and if she's not there, and he wants to go down or up the stairs, Grandma might give in before other people.  It is really hard to resist holding his hand and going places with him.  

He's on his way home now and I wonder how many fake sneezes he will do during the ride.  That was Derek's way of getting him to laugh right before they left.  There's nothing quite so hilarious as someone sneezing in a VERY dramatic fashion!  I love Brigham and his good parents!

A Whirlwind Friday

Brigham wearing my Teddy Bear's glasses.
This was Thursday.

Today I got up early to walk with a friend, then I ate breakfast and went outside to work with my nephew.  Then I went on a walk with Trisa and the doggies.  Then I worked some more with my nephew.  Then I talked to him for half an hour while waiting to wish his Dad a happy birthday.  This nephew is fun to talk to.  Then I got cleaned up and tried on a couple of outfits for my first job interview in around 32 years.  Yikes!  Then I had lunch and tried to help Dan find his missing phone.

Next came driving to my job interview too early and then driving around until closer to the correct time.  The interview was fine.  It was at an elementary school and everyone was nice.  The principal seemed most interested in my hobby of puppets.  He seemed most worried that I wouldn't want to take instructions from teachers who were younger than me and in my lack of recent job experience.  I wasn't worried about either thing, which he could probably tell.

After the interview I went to Lowe's to pick up a couple of things and then came home and actually helped Dan find his phone using his Google account.  It is a black phone and was sneakily hiding in his room on the black office chair I had sat in to think about where else to look for it.  Next I went and bought more rocks and plants for the yard.  Then it was time for dinner, a show, a motorcycle ride, another show and bedtime.  I got over 16,000 steps, which is a lot for me.  I think a bit of sleep is in order!  It was a whirlwind Friday, but it was a good Friday!

An Unsolvable Mystery

 At the beginning of July I managed to break the crown on my tooth in the very back of my mouth.  Right side, bottom back tooth.  I stalled in doing anything about it since it didn't bother me, but finally went to get a temporary crown three weeks ago.  The very next morning it came out with my "Optisleep" device.

This is the device
my crown got stuck in.

I had to pry the crown out of the device and then I just kept it in the same container.  I didn't go back to have the temporary crown put back in because I didn't want to be numbed again and I could mostly avoid being too zinged by the sensitive tooth.

I do have a witness that I kept the crown in with the pictured device.  It was there for at least a week -- maybe two.  But then I noticed it was missing.  I looked all over my room and bathroom for it, but couldn't find it.  I wasn't worried about it, and just assumed it must have accidentally washed it down the sink.  I had been flossing back there every day since my temporary crown fell out since I was no longer worried about the it falling out.

Fast forward to this morning.  I went to get my real crown and the assistant asked how the temporary crown had worked out.  I told her it had fallen out the day after I got it and then I had lost it.  A few minutes later she had me open my mouth and proceeded to pull it out!  I'm pretty sure she thought I was crazy.  I have absolutely no idea how it got back in my mouth.  What are the chances of it happening to land just in the right spot in my Optisleep device so that when I put it in the crown went onto my tooth and then didn't fall out again even though it was no longer glued and I was constantly flossing?  I may forget some things, but I am pretty sure I would have remembered trying to put that thing back on!

This really is just an unsolvable mystery.  

The End of The Day

 

Photo by Andres Siimon on Unsplash

It is the end of the day and I don't really have anything really wise or useful coming to mind.  I worked outside this morning and was impressed with the deep roots some weeds have down in the hard ground!  I got them wet and so my shoes were muddy but the little deep rooted weeds still didn't want to come out!  Thankfully my nephew Brigham was helping and so more got done than if I was working alone. I don't feel like the yard looks a lot different, but the garbage can is full and there is a pile of weeds waiting for another week.  I did like what my nephew said as he worked.  "After all of this work you had better get yard of the month!"  I don't think our town does yard of the month but it is looking better all of the time!  Maybe I'll even post pictures soon and we can pretend we got yard off the month! 

My Happy Place

 

Today is Tuesday and so it was my day to go and work in the office at the Payson Temple.  Even if I am tired or grumpy when I arrive, I am almost always smiling and happy while I am there.

Today I walked in and my friend Marge started singing "Happy Birthday" (quietly).  It took me a minute to realize she was singing to me since it isn't my birthday!  It had come up on her calendar today and so I got early birthday wishes.

I have been looking for a part time job and the head clerk Julie is one of my references.  I told her I had applied for more jobs -- at schools and as an administrative assistant at a place in town.  She said, "I think you would be good at whatever you decide to do."  How nice is that?

Then Kayli came by to pick up family cards she had me print and so I got a hug, and some banana bread that my daughter Tia had made.  (I saved that for the way home).  I was uncharacteristically in the back using a fancy cutting machine when Kayli came, and after I had not taken my place at the main phone for a while Julie asked, "Are you going to be you today?"  I laughed and went to take my spot from another worker who was happy to give it up.

It is so good to be where the people who call, and come to the desk, and ask for help, or give help, are almost always kind and grateful.  We are happy to be there and happy to be together.  The temple is beautiful, but the beauty of the love given within the building is my favorite.  It really is my happy place.

A Window to Wonder

 

Photo by Laura College on Unsplash

I've seen a lot of deer this year.  Mostly Mama deer, a few baby deer, and some young bucks.  I have been wondering what happened to the big four point deer we saw quite a bit last year.  And then, I opened my curtain this morning to see big antlers poking up from behind the weeds by the white fence.  He poked his head up and I went to find Kayli and Derek so they could admire him too.  Eventually he stood up and I was able to show Dan.  

We have lived here almost two years and Dan mentioned this evening that he still likes looking out the window and seeing deer.  It has not gotten old.  Now, they are a bit on the annoying side when it comes to plants.  They like to eat my flowers, or pull them out of the ground.  Sometimes they have even stomped on some -- like they were upset that I planted something they didn't want to eat.  But to us, it is still a wonder to look out of the window and see deer.  Mamas, papas, babies and maybe even big grandpas!

Lack or Abundance?

Lack
Photo by Dan Gold on Unsplash

Today, so far, has been the kind of day where it is easy to see my lack.  I lack energy, which makes everything seem harder.  I lacked the gumption to make myself stand up in testimony meeting to share my testimony of our Heavenly Father and Jesus.  It seemed like, in Sunday School, I lacked the ability to keep the attention of the class.  It is days like this where it is easy to get discouraged and to feel like my trying to do things isn't quite good enough.  

Then I thought of the loaves and the fishes.  Obviously, in the scripture story, the boy's lunch was not enough.  How could the little bit he gave possibly help?  But it did.  It helped because He gave it to Jesus who could make it more.

I do not know if the little I gave today made a difference to anyone.  Still, I do know that, in Jesus' hands, even my lack can be enough.  Here is a quote from Emily Freeman's book The Promise of Enough.

"Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives . . . .It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend."

I do not have a lot of energy today, but I had enough to get up and prepare to go.  I did not stand up and share my testimony today but I did share it with my class, and I smiled at people and hope they know I was glad to see them.  My class did not pay strict attention, but they did pay some attention and I do not know what they did or did not take away with them, but I was there to teach about God's love and He could multiply my little effort into enough.

Sometimes it is so easy to see my lack, but there is also abundance, given by the grace of a loving Father and His beloved son Jesus. 

Abundance
Photo by Raphael Rychetsky on Unsplash

Visits to the Fair

 I went to the Utah County Fair by myself on Friday afternoon.  It was really hot outside.  I went to the "Maker's Market" because I figured Derek wouldn't be so excited to visit that part of the fair.  I enjoyed chatting with a lady who makes beautiful wooden cutting boards, wooden toys, and other cool things.  I am tempted to buy lots of wooden things, but only bought a food grade wood conditioner that I used on my charcuterie boards.  It made them look brand new!

Today I went to the fair with Derek.  We saw some things I knew were there but hadn't seen, some I had looked at before, and one thing that I didn't know was there.  The pictures are out of order but here are some of the things we saw.

This is a lego model of the Washington D.C. Temple.  It was pretty awesome.
There were a whole lot of very elaborate and impressive lego creations.

We watched the 5-8 year olds show their sheep.  It was pretty impressive!
Some of the kids got pulled over by their nervous sheep a few times but they just popped up
and kept trying to get their sheep under control!  Some of the sheep were more skittish than others.

Derek took this picture of me in front of the quilts because I told him that they reminded me
of my sister Tina who has made some beautiful quilts.

We also saw a lot of wood carvings.  There was a long table with people sitting in front of things they had carved while working on new carvings.  They said that it is a dying art and we should give it a try.  Some of those carvings were very intricate.  

We saw but did not get a picture of the snakes, alligator, Gila monster, or other reptilian creatures.  There was a sign telling us to use hand sanitizer after touching them -- but we had no real desire to touch any of them, nor was there really an opportunity to do so!

The best surprise was running into a friend of mine and her family.  Her husband has a kind of blood cancer and his blood count was miraculously normal last time it was checked.  She naturally was happy to get to share good news and to introduce their newest baby to Derek.

I enjoyed my visits to the fair, and later I enjoyed my time with Brigham who came over to play.  It is always fun to hear him reverently whisper "Pop Pop", which is what he calls Derek.  

Heavy Sighs and a Chuckle

Roses in California from our trip in July

This morning after walking Teddy I was getting ready to have breakfast and the kitchen was a mess.  I sighed heavily, loaded the dishwasher and washed the blender part I needed.  I opened the garbage drawer to throw something away and the garbage was full.  I sighed heavily and took the garbage out.  I came in and Teddy brought me his toy (the headless moose) and I sighed, and threw it for him.  At some point I realized that I kept sighing and chuckled.  I've noticed before that if I am tired, or if I find things to do that I don't want to do right then but feel like I have to, I have a tendency to start sighing loudly.  

I think the solution is either to rest, take a break, or, if I just got up, to decide how and when I want to do things so that I am doing them deliberately on my terms and not doing them because I feel like I have to.  The dishwasher has been started, but the kitchen is still messy.  I will fit cleaning it in when I have finished a few things I feel are more important to do right now, or when I find a way to do it where it doesn't feel like such a chore.

Sometimes I do really just have to get a few things done that I don't want to, and don't feel like I have the energy for.  I'm sure this will not be the last time I find myself sighing heavily, but I do hope that I will stop sighing with a chuckle and find a way to move ahead with more joy.

Remembering to Look Up

 

I went for a walk with Teddy this morning like I do most weekday mornings.  This morning everything was wet and there was a slight sprinkle of rain.  I chose to walk up the hill first because I like walking down the other side of the block and looking at the lake.  As I walked I was trying to make sure that Teddy didn't step in any mud, and that I was not stepping on or in anything that would cause me problems.  It wasn't until I was almost home that I realized I hadn't ever looked up!  I forgot to look at the lake!  I looked up at the beautiful mountains and clouds and was grateful for them, but was sorry I hadn't looked up sooner. (And I didn't want to go back!:-)

This experience reminded me of how often in my days, while I am busy and concerned about various things, I can forget to look up to God and be grateful, or even to ask for help!  I acknowledge that there are a lot of problems and really hard things in this world, but there is also a lot of beauty and kindness.  Today is a good day for me to reinstate Thankful Thursday where I spend the day looking for, and thanking Heavenly Father for the many blessings that I have been given.  I hope you can look around and find many things to be thankful for too.

All of the pictures in this post were taken this morning after my walk with Teddy.
It is a beautiful cloudy morning!

I Am A Child of God

Cute Brigham trying to keep his beard under control :-)

While reading from Come Follow Me yesterday I read these words by President Oaks (1st Counselor in the Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints).  He said this:

“Be careful how you characterize yourself. Don’t characterize or define yourself by some temporary quality. The only single quality that should characterize us is that we are a son or daughter of God. That fact transcends all other characteristics, including race, occupation, physical characteristics, honors, or even religious affiliation. …" (emphasis added)

He continued on about the dangers of defining ourselves by qualities that are temporary.  He said that when we define ourselves by temporary qualities we "we de-emphasize what is most important about us.."

It can be so hard to talk to and about ourselves kindly.  I know that it hurts me to hear one of my children say, "I'm so stupid." or other disparaging comments, so I am sure that Heavenly Father does not like us to say such things about ourselves.  I know that it hurts me when I say negative things to myself, about myself -- even if it is not out loud.  It is so important for us all to be careful what we say after the words "I am".  I am NOT stupid.  I don't know everything but I am learning.  I may not FEEL valuable all of the time, but as a child of God I AM valuable!

Negative thinking is not easy to fix.  It takes a LOT of practice and, even when we think we have our thoughts conquered, old patterns will creep back in if we don't continue to practice!  So, let us all practice remembering that as children of God we have great potential and great value.

Happy Wednesday!

(I need to practice remembering to write every day.  I keep remembering when it is too late -- but today I remembered!  Yay for one success!)

He did help Grandpa with his beard too.  And the fireplace -- which
we did tell him did not need shaving.

What We Leave Behind

A picture I took at a stop along the Nebo Loop yesterday (with Derek)

I've been thinking about the Inheritance Project I did in the past.  I wrote down all of the stories I could think of that might be helpful.  But, as time goes on, I continue to learn.  I still do not have lots of $s to leave behind.  I do have a LOT of puppets, and quite a few books.  I have plants, and blankets, and clothes.  But I think the most important thing to pass on is love.  Love for Heavenly Father, and Jesus, and all of the people that I know -- especially my own family.  

I have not written a blog in three months, and I haven't written a song in three years!  Life can be a struggle for me, and really for everyone.  Sometimes I have a hard time wanting to sing.  I struggle to laugh.  I know God loves me, and my family loves me, and yet sometimes I feel lost and lonely.  Am I fulfilling my purpose here on earth?  What is it I need?

I think that maybe I just need to stop trying so very hard to do the right thing that I am paralyzed by the thought of doing the wrong thing and so I don't do anything!  I need to reach out to others with confidence that they will want to hear from me.  I need to focus more outwardly and less inwardly.  

It is so hard to want to do anything when you are tired.  I need to remember that to get energy, I have to use it. I need to find some of the carefree joy I had as a child, singing my way home from school without worrying who was listening.   But maybe most of all, I need to remember that there is always good in every day and God's love is constant and those are good things to share. 

I may not feel inspired to write, but it would probably help me anyway, even if it helps nobody else.  So let us see if I can let go of the perfect, and work on sharing something every day.  Love can be found in stories, and poems, and thoughts, and I hope to do better at sharing mine.