Pictures and big events.

Arranging pictures in a blog is apparently not my talent -- yet.  The first picture is Jake on his baptism day.  He was baptized March 7th and it was a very nice day.  Our boy who has thought church was "too long" for as long as I can remember was excited to be baptized and it turned out to be a really happy day.  Lots of family came to help celebrate the occasion and Jake was happy will everything.

The second picture is Jake receiving his bobcat award in Cub Scouts.  The new bobcats get to hide and the Webelos find them and carry them in on a stick.  Jake has loved Cub Scouts so far.

This next picture is Connor at that same pack meeting with his friend Kevin.  They were the clowns and told lots of jokes.  They did an excellent job and seemed surprisingly comfortable in front of the crowd.

These next pictures, including one of the ones above are of the anniversary trip that Derek planned for us.  We went south to Zion National Park.  It was our 22nd anniversary and this was a fun adventure.   We visited the St. George Temple, had dinner with Quinn and Tonya, laughed at Brian Regan (he wanted us to -- we weren't being mean), and hiked a lot.  It was all fun. The first picture is on the way to Hidden Canyon and the last two are actually in Hidden Canyon.   There have been other big events that I haven't recorded.  Tia had a birthday in April and we had a good trip that week too.  Derek had a birthday too.  Connor started playing ball and school is almost over.  Besides that -- Dan has eaten lots of snacks and he needs another one right now.

Good Christian Men --- Rejoice!!

As the mother of girls who are grown up -- or almost grown up -- I have had the chance lately to be extremely grateful for the good Christian men in my life and in the lives of my children.  It's a new kind of terrifying to have a daughter old enough that she could choose to get married if she wanted to.  It's less terrifying because she's smart and even less terrifying because she has good Grandpas, a good Dad, and lots and lots of good Uncles to look to as a guide for what a good Christian man is like.  So today I want to say a quick thank you, thank you, thank you to all of the men who know how to live the gospel in such a way that my girls look up to you and enjoy your company.  I have hopes that my girls will find someone like you.

To all of the wives of those men -- give them a thanks from me.  Because of them I can be more hopeful than terrified.  My girls will, when the time is right, find good Christian men -- and then we can rejoice!

Please Pass the Possibilities

Have you ever had a problem that is so hard that you have given up on finding a solution?  You've hit a dead end, or you've found a giant chasm in the path and you don't know what to do.  Wouldn't you like to sit down at a table and say, "Please pass the possibilities," and then have them handed to you?  Well, in some ways I think life is like that if we do not allow ourselves to give up.

We take our troubles to the family table.  Heavenly Father is there and lots of brothers and sisters -- some who are expert in fields you may never have even heard of.  You sit down and tell Heavenly Father all about the problem and what you have done so far.  Then you say "Would you please pass the possibilities?" -- and he does!  You are so happy!  And then you look more closely at them and realize you don't like either of the possibilities you've been given.  You ask if you can exchange them and he says "No, those are good for you, you have to keep them"  (It's a little like being handed your two least favorite vegetables to eat).  Now you have a choice -- you can leave the table and storm and fuss and get very mad -- forgetting that you now have possibilities when you didn't before.  You can stay at the table and keep them and feel a bit sorry for yourself.  Or you could stay at the table, keep them, and ask for more possibilities.

Much to your surprise, you are given more!  Perhaps Heavenly Father hands them to you directly, or perhaps, he passes them around the table and you get them through your brothers and sisters.  When you look at these you are not sure about them but you take them.  One possibility, when you try it, ends up making that first possibility you were given easier to handle (like being given cheese sauce to go with that broccoli).  One you're not sure about, but it turns out that once you've accepted it, it makes you see clearly what you have gained from that first thing you had to keep.  Maybe you even get a possibility that seems a lot like dessert!

I am thankful to have been reminded in a few different ways lately that even if I can't see a possibility for a solution, it doesn't mean that their isn't one.  Miracles happen.  When I see a dead end, or a giant chasm -- I might be able to look from a different view point and discover that the road continues or that there is a bridge I hadn't seen.  When I face a challenge and feel weak, and angry, and worried, I can turn to Heavenly Father and find power, and love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). 

In the future I hope to always remember that if a problem seems impossible to solve, I can ask --"Please pass the possibilities!"

Food Allergies: Part Last

I'm about ready to move on to a new topic -- but here are a few last things I've learned.

1.  Make your own cookbook -- when you find something that works type it up and stick it in your book.  It makes looking for recipes at dinnertime less complicated.

2.  When you start to get frustrated again remember that there are resources that you might not know about yet and start looking.  Sometimes help is a google search away.

3.  I read somewhere that it is better to treat an allergy matter of factly.  Don't treat your child like they are picked on and they are less likely to think that they are.

4.  Finally, be willing to ask questions --  so here is one for you:

Dan one day will go to school, he will have birthday parties to attend and ball games with treats.  At some point, no matter how matter of factly I treat his allergy, he is bound to feel a bit picked on because he will be different.  Any suggestions on how to help him through that?  Most of you won't have had to deal with that before -- but neither have I -- any ideas?

Dealing With Food Allergies (Part 2)

Derek and I both come from good families.  We like to spend time with them as much as we can.  Dan has lots of cousins and Aunts and Uncles.  We try to get together for family reunions with both sides of the family once a year and we get together with those who are close by a lot more often.  Food of some kind is almost always involved.  All of a sudden I found that these occasions could be some of the most frustrating times for me.  Food is a lot easier to control in your own home!

So what did I do to turn these times back to the relaxing, enjoyable things they used to be?  The one thing I do is to call in advance to find out the menu so I'll know what I need to bring.  I've forgotten to call before and that is stressful!  The other thing that has helped make these events enjoyable again is what others have done and continue to do to help.  I have cried tears of gratitude over some of these things when nobody was looking.

When Dan was almost two it was time for the family reunion on my side of the family.  It was to be held at my sister Jenny's home where I had seen cousins track food all over the house before.  Almost two year olds are not always very discriminating on where they pick up their snacks.  We would be having meals there for a couple of days and going to the store or home were not really good options.

This is where my angel Mother and one of my thoughtful sisters came to the rescue.  Mom and Jenny planned the entire reunion's meals around what Dan could have.  They even thought carefully about snacks and made sure that there were snacks that Dan could have too.  I found upon arrival that all of the cousins had been warned to be careful what and where they ate and to make sure Dan didn't have anything without his parents knowing.  My nephew Seth who was 6 at the time was particularly vigilant at looking out for Dan and I was very touched by his concern.

On Derek's side of the family we have meals together at least monthly.  I have been so thankful for the times my sisters-in-law have read labels in order to make sure the meal was something Dan could eat!  Other times, when something not Dan safe is planned, they are thoughtful about letting me know so that I can plan in advance how to handle the meal for Dan.  My mother-in-law buys lots of popsicles and Dan has come to think of that as the treat he eats at Grandma's (besides fruit snacks).  Even when I bring cake that he can have or cookies, he often opts for a popsicle.  It makes me smile when I look and find that several cousins have joined him in having popsicles instead of ice cream.

At church the primary leaders have bought treats that Dan can have so he will be safe and his teachers sometimes call me from the store and read me labels just to be sure.  On top of that, a couple of our neighbors who are aware of Dan's allergies went out of their way at Christmas time to bring treats just for Dan (blond oreos and popsicles) because he can't have so many of the goodies we get.

I don't think I was ever so thoughtful for people I knew with food allergies.  It seems so surreal that someone can die from eating something that most other people have every day.  It's hard to believe that such a thing can be real until you see it -- or experience it yourself!  I appreciate what good family members, friends, and neighbors we have had who have gone out of their way to think about it when they don't have to.

So, in dealing with food allergies it is good to plan ahead, and call in advance.  It is also good to know great people like we do who help keep my Dan safe and me sane.

Dealing with Food Allergies (Part 1)

Since Dan was one we have changed the way we eat at our house.  That was when we first started discovering his food allergies.  You might be surprised to know that my first reaction to his food allergies (besides fear) was anger.  I was angry at the food that could kill him.  I was angry that cooking, which I don't really love, just got harder.  I was angry that Dan would probably never get to enjoy some of the foods that I had loved the most.  (I say had because I was so angry at peanuts that I quit eating the food that has been my main staple for years -- peanut butter).  I was angry that he couldn't eat what everyone else ate.  I was angry that school, and parties, and even family gatherings were going to be complilcated.  Thankfully, there were three things that helped me to get past the anger.

1.  I have a friend who has dealt with multiple food allergies in her family.  She told me what to look for on lables and she gave me a couple of recipes to help.  I believe she cooks three different dinners for her family every day since they are not all allergic to the same things.  I was impressed with how matter of factly she dealt with the situation.  Somewhere along the line she had already learned that being frustrated and angry didn't help anyone.  Her understanding, patience and example were priceless.

2.  I read in one of my fiction books (I can't remember which one) that being angry with a situation we are given in life is the same as being angry at God.  That made me stop and think.  Heavenly Father knows about Dan's allergies and I know that being angry at God is not a good idea.  I started trying harder to not be angry.  Thinking about this idea helped me to be ready for #3.

3.  I went to a Relief Society meeting where a lady spoke about her son being diagnosed with diabetes.  She spoke about how hard it was for her.  Her situation sounded harder than mine -- but it was similar in some ways too.  After describing her challenges she told us about a question she had been asked.  If she could go back and choose to have her son be free of diabetes would she?  She was surprised to find the answer was not a clear "YES!"  She said that her son is very compassionate, and thoughtful.  She felt that this was a result of his experience with diabetes.  As a result of her son's diabetes she had learned to communicate with Heavenly Father better and to feel His compassion and love more clearly.  Maybe that "YES!" would take away the good things too.  Listening to her helped me to see that I was angry over something that might be an important part of Heavenly Father's plan for me, and Dan, and our family.  Perhaps I couldn't see the good things that could come from this hard thing.

Thanks to these three things, I have been able to stop being angry and to deal with food allergies more matter of factly -- like my friend.  This is a situation that we have been given and it is up to us to handle it the best way we can.  Eventually we may even be able to sincerely give thanks for the opportunity to experience life with food allergies.  Maybe we will look back and find that we are more patient, or compassionate, or thoughtful because of this situation.  One day we will clearly see the good that has come to us because of a hard thing.  In the meantime, we won't waste time being angry.

Celebrating Easter

Today I feel like sharing an Easter idea that I got from a book by Jill Rigby (Raising Unselfish Children in a Self-Absorbed World). The idea is hers but I have modified it slightly. This activity helps us and our children to know what Jesus did on that original Easter week. It is particularly good for those with children at home. You start this activity on Palm Sunday (the Sunday before Easter) and it goes for the whole week -- but it isn't hard!

Every day read the scripture given and then do the activity. The activities you do every day create an Easter display so find a good location for one and get ready! You can display the scriptures you read too if you want to. Modify the idea to make it work for you -- I did!

Palm Sunday (Christ's triumphal entry into Jerusalem)

Blessed be the King that cometh in the name of the Lord: peace in heaven, and glory in the highest. (Luke 19:38)

Activity: Color pictures of palm fronds and place them on the table with the donkey (taken from your Christmas nativity set). You could also read Luke 19: 30-38 and Matthew 21: 8-11 and Luke 19: 39-40 if your kids have a longer attention span -- or tell the story in your own words.

Monday

...he taught the people in the temple, and preached the gospel...(Luke 20:1)

Activity: display a picture of the temple in Jerusalem (Jesus had cleansed the temple the day before and taught there during the week)

Tuesday

And in the day time he was teaching in the temple; and at night he went out, and abode in the mount that is called the Mount of Olives. (Luke 21:37)

Activity: display a picture of the Mount of Olives

Wednesday

Then entered Satan into Judas surnamed Iscariot, being of the number of the twelve. And he promised, and sought opportunity to betray him unto them in the absence of the multitude. (Luke 22: 3, 6)

Activity: display 30 pieces of silver (30 nickles or other silver money)

Thursday

And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and he sweat as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground. (Luke 22:44)

Activity: display a picture of the Garden of Gethsemane and consider a special family prayer thanking Heavenly Father for the atonement that Jesus made for each of them.

Friday

And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost. (Luke 23:46)

Activity: Make three crosses (use twigs from the yard or whatever you think will work) and add them to your display. Also make a tomb and seal it with a rock. (This can even be a toilet paper roll decorated in some way with a rock in front.)

Saturday

And they (Jesus' friends) returned, and prepared spices and ointments; and rested the Sabbath day according to the commandment. (Luke 23:56)

Activity: rest

Sunday

He is not here, but is risen...(Luke 24:6)

Activity: Open the tomb -- take the time to listen to "He is Risen" or another Easter song and consider saying another prayer thanking Heavenly Father for the resurrection.

Have a happy Easter learning what Jesus did on that important week so many years ago!

A Mystery Solved!

Almost exactly a year ago I went to the car show with Derek. We sat in many cars and I even put pictures of some of them on my blog. It was at that show that my cell phone went missing. I called the convention center where the show was held several times but the phone never turned up. I got a new phone. I even got rid of the charging cables for the old phone because they were of no use to me. And then, almost exactly a year later, the mystery has been solved.

This is the car that my phone has spent a year being lost in. Isn't it nice? The black interior must have done an incredible job of hiding my dark phone. A man from Arizona bought this car. It wasn't until he was looking for his son's phone that he found mine. He found some way to charge my phone enough to find the phone numbers. He left a message on my cell phone, called Derek's phone, and even talked to Trisa before getting in touch with me at home. He's mailing my old phone back to me. When I offered to pay the postage he pointed out that if he could afford to buy a 30 thousand dollar car he could probably afford a couple dollars of postage. He seems to be a very nice person. Now -- what to do with a phone with no cables to charge it with?

Rewind -- Fast Forward

10. Celebrating Trisa's birthday with a trip to visit her, go to the Lake with cousins (without her), take her to a play, and then bring her home for a day. Thinking about how proud of her I was when she was born. Now she's grown up and I'm still so proud of her -- only more so.

9. Celebrating my birthday while trying not to think that as fast as time is passing I'll be 80 the day after tomorrow.

8. Going on a trip to Alaska with Derek. Brrr. Cold but beautiful and a nice chance to relax. Thanks to Derek's parents for watching the kids again!

7. Going on a trip to KY to my Grandma's funeral (see photo below). I went with my oldest brother and my youngest sister. My parents were there too and I am glad I went. I learned that my Grandma could do the Charleston (a dance). She was amazing in lots of other ways too.

6. Celebrating Dan's 3rd birthday (see blurry picture below). He is three and -- is finally mostly potty trained (which is the other thing I've been doing).

5. Getting the kids ready for school and actually sending them to school. This includes taking Trisa to college. Her blurry picture (below) is her in her apartment. (Sorry I haven't taken photography classes!)
4. Right before that we went to Idaho where Derek hiked with my brothers, brother-in-law, nephew, etc. and the rest of us partied with cousins (or in my case with my sister). Below is a picture of Dan and his twin cousin (born the same day). They were enjoying picking apples, tasting them, and then tossing them.

3. Right before THAT trip we were at Lake Powell with my side of the family minus my parents and my older brother and his family. This was thanks to my brother-in-law Jeff and my sister Jenny who generously invited us to share their houseboat. That trip was very good for some of my non-swimmers and helped them to see that you can have fun in water. Dan loved going shirtless and having popsicles any time he wanted. Fun times! We love life jackets!

2. Before that it was family reunion time with all of the fun that goes with that including a pinewood derby with cars for everyone who chose to make one. That was a big hit.

1. Finally, (or first) after our trip to Nauvoo there were the usual things of summer including youth conference, girls camp, gardening (yeah! we actually grew one), mowing, playing, etc. but obviously not much writing on the Sher blog.

Nauvoo and St. Louis

This year we had a grand family adventure. We left on May 29th at 4:30 a.m. so that we could all be on the plane by 7:05. We were wearing lovely bright green shirts that made us easy to identify as a "group". On the way home, wearing our bright yellow shirts, people kept asking what group we were with. We were simply a family group.

Due to the fact that it is kind of hard to rearrange pictures once they are put in the backwards order, and I don't want to bother, I'm going to tell you about our trip in a backwards fashion. We started the trip by landing in St. Louis, and we went back to St. Louis for the last couple of days of our trip. While we were there (at the end of our trip) we did two things. We went to the St. Louis Gateway Arch, and to the St. Louis City Museum. Since I could only fit five pictures on this blog to represent our trip I didn't include pictures of / from the arch. We all enjoyed being up in the arch. Tia loved the view so much that she said she would go up there all of the time if she lived nearby. Of course, I had to point out that she'd have to have a pretty good job to do that since going up in the arch is not free.

The City Museum is also not free, but we chose to go there over the less expensive places (like the zoo which is free except for parking) because we thought we could stay there for a long time and all enjoy it. We stayed for three hours give or take a little. We could have stayed longer but we were all hungry and we were a bit too cheap to pay for the food. This is a fun museum. It is three stories of tunnels, slides, rope swings, circus acts, bug collections, a few birds and animals (a mini Bean Museum for those who have been there), and other things that we somehow missed. There are places where adults and children can play in piles of balls and where you can take a rope bridge over water (I didn't see that until I was leaving -- shucks). Outside you could climb on top of the cage type thing that covered the ball pit and you can keep going up through tunnels to old airplanes that are perched two or three stories high. In the picture below our fearless Dan is headed up above the ball pit. We were amazed that such a place was still open in the U.S. It was very fun.

On the day we left Nauvoo (June 2nd) we went to Carthage Jail to see the place where Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum were martyred. We arrived a little after a busload of people from Utah. The picture below was taken in the very room where the prophet and his brother were killed. What you can't see from this picture is the other 25 people we were with. I was rather pleased with how reverent the people were -- including our own children. At one point the missionary played a reinactment of the last few minutes of the Prophet's life in the jail. Included was the song "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief". You couldn't see the audio device on the mantle next to a clock(the room was dark because it was raining outside). Dan turned to me with amazement and said "Mom, that clock is singing!" and he listened to the song quietly the whole time.

That same day, before we left Nauvoo, we finally took a picture of us by the "big white wan". We told Dan it was a van but he said "NO! not van, wan." and that was that. We drove around in a big wan the whole time and that was one of Dan's favorite things about the trip. That final day in Nauvoo we finally made it to the brickyard, the blacksmith shop, the family living center, and the Lucy Mack Smith House. We were even allowed to go up the steep steps in the LMS house and I was pretty pleased about that. I've always wanted to go upstairs in one of those houses!
We did a good variety of things in Nauvoo and it worked well for all ages. We visited parks with teeter totters and fast slides and high swings (we loved that). We threw rocks in the impressive Mississippi River and collected "treasures" there. We went on a wagon ride, we saw a play, we went to the visitors center, we saw and listened to a band concert, we went to the bakery, and we walked to the Nauvoo Temple a couple of times -- once at night when the kids also discovered the joys of watching, and catching lightning bugs. Below is a picture of us at the temple before church on Sunday. Some nice missionaries took our picture for us. One of my favorite things was going to the temple with Derek on Monday and thinking about how much the early Saints sacrificed to build it and how much it meant to them -- and how hard it was for them to leave it. It is a blessing to have it rebuilt.

Below is a picture of us at a little waterfall near Nauvoo (or maybe in Nauvoo). Jake's wearing one of the green shirts I mentioned. Some of us went to Dominoes that first day in St. Louis and I noticed on the receipt later that the worker had typed in "Holy Green Shirts!" I thought that was pretty funny. It really was a fun trip that worked out well for a family with a wide variety of ages.

I cried when we got home. What if I never get to see my beloved Nauvoo again? But we think we will try to go again when the boys are older and their favorite things aren't the big wan (Dan), the parks (Jake) and the swimming (Connor). Tia was allergic to something in Nauvoo and her eyes would get puffy every time we went outside but she was a good sport and so was the rest of the family. It really was a grand adventure for us!

Connor turns 11

This is Connor when he was still known as "The Big". He was not big when he was born but he quickly became a rather big toddler. At least, to those of us who carried him around he seemed awfully big! Connor was our first boy and he was welcomed with joy by us all. He did have one "defect". He spit up all the time -- a lot. His Aunts, Grandmas and even friends of mine were forever having to wash their clothes so they wouldn't smell bad after holding him. I tried to convince the Dr. to give Connor some medicine to keep him from spitting up so much -- but Connor was so big the Dr. wouldn't. He didn't think smelly clothes and carpet warranted medicine I guess. When he finally quit spitting up (when he was around 2) I had the carpet cleaned.

Connor was the youngest for a little over three and a half years and we wondered how he would adjust to having a new brother. Fortunately, Connor is a kind and loving brother and he loved Jake from the very first. Sometimes he'd get grumpy at me for not spending enough time with him but he never took it out on Jake. I was so proud of him!

Obviously Dan loves him too. Connor gets along with all of his brothers and sisters and has been Kayli's good buddy since he was two and I'd send him along with her to play.

Connor is very active. He loves riding his bike (now that he has a working one again) and he loves sports. He plays soccer, basketball, and baseball -- though we didn't sign him up for baseball this year. He pitched last year and was a great pitcher -- but it stressed him out so he didn't enjoy playing as much. Basketball is his favorite sport.

Connor had brownie trifle for his birthday dessert so I held his candles for him. Dan had to take a turn blowing them out too. Connor spent a lot of his birthday reading (he LOVES books) and we also went to the park (just the boys and me) where he played with his brothers. He enjoyed chinese food and a movie for his birthday evening activity. He loves movies too. Connor is an excellent son. I really could say lots of good things about him but I'll stop by saying he had a happy birthday.

Happy Birthday Derek!

Quite a few years ago a little baby boy was born -- the first child of Bonnie and Howard Christensen. He was well loved and, judging by his size, well fed.

He was reportedly not the easiest baby ever born, but he was cute enough that his parents went ahead and had ten more after him. He enjoys being a big brother, a Dad, and an uncle. He is good with children.

The picture above of Derek climbing makes me think that our boys got their natural tendency towards doing dangerous things from him. Thankfully, they also seem to have a good sense of balance and maybe that's from Derek also.
Derek loves lots of things. He loves me, reading, watching movies, playing basketball, playing baseball or softball, laughing, competing with his brothers and sisters over who might be funniest that day, etc.

He loves being with his family the most and is happiest when he is doing his favorite activities with us.
See, here he is being happy. That's the best way to be on a happy birthday.

Sweet 16!

Tia was my smallest baby. She weighed 5 and a half pounds and the nurses were always bugging me to wake her up and feed her because otherwise she would "go downhill". Tia must have heard their dire warnings and turned into a good eater. The Dr. told me once that she should not need to be fed at night because she was plenty big. Derek likes to tease her about having been square shaped -- but really she was just a round cute baby and a healthy looking toddler and now she's a beautiful 16 year old.

The first picture above was taken after her surgery (she had a urachal cyst removed at 2 weeks) and seems to have caught her at a wild moment. She was not good at sleeping when she was a baby but became excellent at it as a toddler. I felt guilty for not seeing her more because she loved her crib so much. She took two two hour naps for quite a while and only quit napping when she was five -- and that was an act of willpower because she decided she was too big.
Having a smiley Tia around has always been an excellent thing. We've loved her smile ever since she first shared it with us.
Those of you who have known Tia for a long time might remember that she used to cringe and cry if she was ever singled out for attention -- especially in a group. She changed as she grew up though. She took dance and always looked comfortable performing and now she has discovered that attention isn't so bad and that she has a knack for making people smile.
We have a quote on our white board right now written by Trisa so we could all enjoy what Tia said -- which was: "I can't drink ever in front of anyone, unless I'm by myself." Some things she says are funny on purpose -- some not so much -- but she laughs at both. I loved her last piano recital when she forgot the last chord so she made one up (it sounded not right), smiled really big and bowed. That is a good way to be.
This is Tia's room. She turns sixteen and she already has a date lined up for Saturday to the prom. I'll put on pictures of her looking beautiful in her dress then. Tia had to pop quite a few balloons to see exactly what Dalton said -- but she knew he was coming and knew what he was asking too. She quite enjoyed decorating his room in return.

Tia is a beautiful girl who helps us all to be happy. Yes, she occasionally gets grumpy, but she seems to be quick to recover her good humor. I love Tia. Happy birthday!