Maybe I should be asking if you ever argue with yourself? I do. A LOT! It is exhausting! The funny thing is, I am often arguing with myself against my own harsh thoughts -- but I always seem to lose! How can that be? Well, I am learning that arguing just isn't the way to go. I should know that because I hate arguing out loud. How could it possibly be helpful just because nobody else is hearing the argument?
Here's an example argument. Something that could easily happen while I'm hiking. "Wow. I am slow and exhausted. I am pathetic. I really should have exercised more." Then my own answer to myself, "Stop thinking like that! You should think of something else. Be grateful! Look. A tree! You like trees! And you can walk! Some people can't!"
Have I successfully argued anything? Only maybe that I "should" be better at pretty much everything. That "should" word should stay out of arguments!
So what am I learning to try instead? Listening to my thoughts like I am my own friend, and treating myself accordingly. If a friend said to me, "Wow. I am slow and exhausted. I am pathetic. I really should have exercised more." and I knew their situation as well as I know my own, I might say, "I'm so sorry you are feeling pathetic, I don't think that is true! Everything seems so hard when you're tired! Lets take a break until we feel more ready to go on." I could even go so far as to point out the legitimate reasons energy may be low, or the exercise I do manage to do to help with energy.
It turns out that, if I am as compassionate with myself as with a friend, there is nothing to argue about. There is just kindness and understanding, which helps get rid of the harsh feelings that crop up and try to take over my life.
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