Foreboding Joy

Tia, Dan (in the back), Kayli, and Trisa with Chewy in the back too.

This has nothing to do with this post, I just liked this picture taken on the way to a hike in Payson Canyon.

 Have you ever felt joy, and almost immediately squashed it with, "What ifs?"  I think most of us have tried this as a technique for not getting hurt.  We somehow believe if we don't have the joy of hope, we won't hurt as badly when we don't get what we really can't help hoping for.  Instead we think of all of the things that might, and, in our minds, probably will go wrong, which I know from experience does NOT make the hurting any less if bad things happen. 

I have had some experience with this before, once rather recently.  We are working on building a house.  I had the feeling that if we worked for it, and did what we could to move forward, that things would work out.  I found a lot of joy in the moving forward until the "what ifs" started to rear their ugly heads.  What if we can't afford the house we want to build?  What then?  What if I end up feeling stupid, frustrated and afraid?" And then I read about foreboding joy in Daring Greatly by Brene' Brown and realized I was squashing my joy to protect myself -- to try to avoid being too disappointed if something does happen that we didn't want to happen. So what is the solution?

Gratitude.  I need to remember that I am not superstitious.  I do not believe that feeling joy is going to cause something bad to happen.  I believe in God.  Joy is a gift, and therefore the proper response is not "what ifs" -- it is "Thank You".  Thanks to God who is giving me whatever opportunity that brings joy.  Trust that if my joy turns into -- "uh oh, what now?" He has my back.  He will help guide me to the next joyful thing and it will be okay.