Live For God

Derek and me on our 32 Anniversary adventure in May
In front of the Jordan River Temple where we were married.

Me and Derek
We went to the conservation gardens in West Jordan.  It was fun.

I haven't written in a long time.  So many important things have come and gone, and we are in the middle of busy, stressful, joyful things.  Not only did we decide that during what we affectionately(?) call "The Apocalypse" was a good time to sell our house, I also decided this was a good time to go off one of my anti-depressants and caffeine to try to figure out what side affects are coming from which of my medicines.  I haven't quite pulled off the caffeine yet since for sure I get super pounders once I get down to less than 30 mg a day.  Still -- progress has been made.  Connor is getting married to Amanda next month, it is time to register Dan for school, and we are trying to keep everything in the yard alive until we move and can pass that responsibility to someone else.

Connor turned 22.  That's how old Derek was when we got married!  Connor will be
almost two months older when he marries Amanda than Derek was when he married me!

Dan, Connor, and Amanda for the "This is what Connor got for his birthday" picture.
Teddy is there too of course.

I have felt a huge variety of emotions, sometimes all on the same day.  This morning I woke up with my head pounding and received the immediate tender mercy of hearing my sister Tina (via Marco Polo) saying how much she wished she could come help me, and a little later my sister Jenny talking about how exhausting it is to move.  I cried -- but mainly because I felt thankful to have people I love talking to me, and caring about me.  Life is so busy and complicated and the people we love make a huge difference!

Here are some of the people I love!  Trisa, Jake, Tia and Mike.
I love the animals too.  Jake is snuggling with Teddy, and Mike is by Chewy.

This day was very productive.  A lot got done, but as I went at noon to pick up my groceries I was feeling tired and stressed.  The Christian radio station was on and someone was giving a talk about "getting on the love train".  Mainly he was saying that Heavenly Father sent His son who died for us and who loves us.  Essentially, once we accept Christ, we are His.  We are living for Him.  I don't even know if I can explain well how comforting I found this.  I think that it reminded me of God's character -- His compassion and love.  It reminded me of the fact that we are here to love.

The last year I get to take a picture of my rose bush.

God created us, and He knows what He has to work with when we are living for Him.  He doesn't expect us help everyone, and solve world hunger, and create world peace all by ourselves!  He doesn't even really expect us to get through hard days with a perma-grin -- because I'm pretty sure if we tried that our grins would start to look like grimaces.  He loves us for who we are, and He loves to help us help others and to help us become the best us possible.  I love Him, and I love those who share good messages of God's love to remind me in the midst of a chaotic time that I can live for God, and love the best I can, and that what I can do is good enough.

More of the roses!
Love to you from me!

Jake Graduates From High School

Jake technically graduates from Salem Hills High School on Thursday, but he already has his diploma and he doesn't plan on attending graduation. I am still hoping to get him in his cap and gown before he has to take the gown back -- but it might be hard to get Jake to put on anything called a "gown"!

Jake would prefer that I not say anything about him. He doesn't really love being the center of attention, and would be okay if nobody knew he was graduating. He missed going to school with his friends but smiled really big when he knew he didn't have to attend graduation! Jake is a very good person and we are very proud of him.

Jake has always been exceptionally coordinated, and he finally figured out that fact and has enjoyed taking various physical education classes. He likes to run and is good at it. The track coach tried to convince him to do track -- but he preferred not to. He has taken a few college classes and I am impressed that he was able to finish his college math class at home during quarantine and get an A.

One of my very favorite things about Jake is that he is a really, really great brother. He loves his siblings -- who love him back. If Kayli sees a spider she says "Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake!" and he comes and takes care of it. He is really great at fixing things and figuring out how things should go together. He is great at helping around the house and has a great sense of humor. We love Jake!

The Opposites in Happiness

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

I like thinking about happiness, as may be evident by the fact that last year I focused on "living after the manner of happiness" and this year I am contemplating joy.  For Mother's Day Trisa bought me a book that I wanted called 52 Lists for Happiness by Moorea Seal, and I have been reading (not for the first time) The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  I really enjoy thinking about happiness and joy, and what kinds of things I can do to bring more of those things to me, and to others.

The very first list I am to make in the 52 Lists for Happiness book is what makes me happy now.  As I have been thinking about, and writing this list, I discovered that sometimes happiness is found in total opposites and so what makes me happy right now, might not make me happy tomorrow. 

Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash

I find a lot of happiness in having the sun shining.  I like the warmth, I like lifting my face up and feeling its rays warm my skin.  I find sunshine to be cheerful and comforting.  On the other hand, I also love dark clouds, and pounding thunder storms.  I like gentle rains that smell fresh and new.  These can remind me of God's power and how He takes care of me.

Photo by michael podger on Unsplash

I love talking to people, but I also love solitude.  I love organizing which means that I can see a room stacked full of mess and, if I have energy, can be happy at the idea that I can make it better!  Sometimes books where I can learn a little something helpful make me happy, and other times they just seem like work, and it is something romantic and funny that brings out the happiness.

In The Happiness Project Gretchen sometimes talks about finishing a nagging task.  Obviously, the nagging task itself doesn't bring happiness -- or it would likely already be done.  But finishing something that I've been dreading does bring happiness -- or at least enough relief that it feels happy!

Add to all of this the fact that helping others is often a great way to feel happy, but if I am tired, and hungry then helping others might seem like a chore because I feel more like I need to be taken care of than like I should take care of someone else.  That's not to say I shouldn't help when I don't feel like it, but I think I do need to take into account whether or not I have taken care of myself.  Maybe eating a sandwich and taking five minutes before I go to help can help me be a more willing and better helper!

I suspect that if there were not ever rain, I would not enjoy the sun as much, and if I was always alone, I would not enjoy solitude at all.  It is fun to find things that make me happy.  It is also fun to discover that if I look at the opposite thing, I might find something else that makes me happy.   I also might find something I don't enjoy like sickness which helps my happiness by helping me to appreciate and find joy in health.

I didn't know what to end with -- so here are some happy horses!

Derek Had a Birthday

Derek with his Ginger cookie.  The homemade peach ice cream was too soft for holding a cookie with a candle.  

You will probably notice as you go through these pictures that Derek has a real stubborn streak when it comes to looking at the camera.

Here is the blown out candle and that is Jake relaxing in the background.

This present was from Dan (except he still needs to work to earn the $s I paid for it :-)
It says To:  Dan Man.  The Present you always wanted.

And here it is.  A helicopter.  That was Trisa and Kayli's first guess!

This was on May 6th.  On Derek's actual birthday he made us all dinner, and cleaned it up and then we went and the boys and Trisa hit some balls at Peteetneet.  Tia and Mike were not there.  It was their 2nd anniversary.  They came on the 6th and made us all some yummy churros to go with our ice cream and cookies.   That day I bought pizza so Derek didn't have to make his own dinner on both days of birthday celebration!

Is God Really There?

The other evening, after a particularly hard day, I sat in bed flipping the pages in my scriptures, trying to find a thought I could share the next morning in a Zoom meeting.  I felt listless, and discouraged, and nothing struck the right chord until I read Mosiah 4:9

"Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend."

Peace settled over me as I read this.  It reminded me that just because I can't understand why something is or isn't happening doesn't mean that there isn't some good that can come from the way things are.  It also reminded me that just because, in any given moment, I might not feel believing, I can choose to believe!

Dig It Up

I've been listening to books from the online library, and I really enjoyed one by Dr. Henry Cloud called 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life.  The first of those nine things was "Dig it Up". 

He talks about taking a close look inside ourselves to look for "treasures".  These might be dreams, imaginings, wishes, talents, and things we would enjoy.  Dr. Cloud says that some of these things have become hidden from us because of past experiences.  Perhaps we tried something once, and got a negative response, so we determined to never try again!  It is possible that we also hide our heart's desire because we want to please the people we know and we don't think they will approve, or we are afraid of being laughed at.

The author quoted King Solomon as saying "Above all else, guard your heart" (which Dr. Cloud defined as our dreams).  Those good treasures were likely planted there by God.  Do we really want to give them up?

If we dig up hurt while digging for treasure then it is time to forgive and move on.  Being unwilling to forgive hurts us more than anyone else, and may keep us from becoming all that we could be.

What have I dug up?  Well, admittedly, I'm still digging :-).  I do puppets because years ago I dug up the memory of how much I enjoyed making my stuffed animals talk.  I write poetry despite a discouraging experience with a teacher in grade school.  I think it is worth digging through our memories to get rid of hurt, and to potentially find a dream that, with attention, can become reality.

Paying Attention to the Right Things

Today I was reading my library book, "Mindfulness for Beginners" by Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD, who teaches Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction.  There were a couple of things that I read that I thought it would be good to think about.

The author was talking about some of the patients he works with, and how he tries to get them to see that, "...as long as you are breathing there is more right with you than wrong with you, no matter what is wrong."

How is that possible?  Well, to illustrate he teaches that instead of focusing on all that is wrong and needs to be fixed, we should "systematically pour energy in the form of attention into what is right with us."

Here are the examples he gave of some of the things we can focus on.  He said we should focus on the fact that, "we have a body in the first place, that we are breathing, that we can sense the world in various ways, that the mind generates thoughts and emotions seemingly endlessly, that we have the capacity for kindness toward ourselves and others, that we can be patient and trusting."

This reminded me of one of my favorite quotes from a previous general conference. 

“The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”                  Russell M. Nelson

This quote has been helpful to me.  What I focus on has a big affect on how I feel, and how happy I am. 

*Photo by Simon Wilkes on Unsplash

Odds and Ends

Tia and Chewy while some of us watched a movie.

The girls made a cheese bunny that we ate.

Jake, Derek, Me, Kayli, Trisa and Dan on Sunday after "church".

Since I overdid it last week and made my hamstring and hip hurt, I hadn't done physical therapy much.  I knew I needed to start back up today but I didn't want to.  Then I remembered we own a yoga mat that had never been used.  I took it to my garden and did physical therapy there.  It was great except for two things.   It was around 10 a.m. and the garden was hot!  And, the bark got all over the yoga mat and I had to pick slivers off of it.  I chose the garden because I could close the gate and stay fairly hidden.  I guess I'll just find a good spot of grass in the back yard next time!

This is the exercise bike I bought the other day.  I didn't like the spinner bike, so now Tia and Mike have it.  This one is a desk bike.  I tend to do a lot of things sitting down and don't move as much as I should.  This is me doing the bills at the desk.  Let's just say that it's a little hard to pedal and write at the same time -- but I got a little biking in!  I used the computer for a while too.  It straps on the desk to make sure it won't fall.

Maple Canyon on a Stormy Saturday

Dan kept climbing up.  The rocks were wet and slippery so I was working hard at not worrying.
Thankfully he was fine.

I assure you that the ice looked awesome in person.  It's not so impressive in the picture.

I wish I had taken more of these two because this one is blurry!  It's cute blurry, but would have been better if it wasn't!  Connor's hair is fun, and he forgot a jacket.  It was really quite chilly!

I tried to get Jake and Kayli to turn around.  Jake said, "I'll pass".
Teddy and Chewy came too.

This is Dan.  Up again.  It was farther up than this picture looks.

Me and Derek.  I set a timer and walked 10 minutes in and 10 back out.  I was trying not to hurt my leg more since I keep overdoing it and making it hurt.  I got back to the van just as the hail started.

I read my story in the van while the rest of the family hiked in a little farther and then ended up coming back in the hail and rain.  Still, it was good to have an adventure on a Saturday!

 

On the way there and back there were sheep, sheep everywhere!  We would roll down the windows and smell the stink, and smile at the chorus of baas ,and ooooo and ah at the little lambs.

The Laundry Room Project

I'm not sure what overcame me, but I looked at the laundry room on Thursday and, even though I didn't really feel great, decided I didn't like the color anymore and I should paint it.  It's a little room.  It shouldn't take long -- right?

I didn't remember to take a before picture until the shelves were off the wall and almost all of the stuff was removed.  

I don't remember how many hours I worked on the room on Thursday.  Almost immediately upon getting ready to paint, I hurt myself by pinching my hand in the roller.  Ouch!  I'm still wearing a bandaid to keep it from hurting.  I made lots of noises dropping things or groaning over some mistake I made.  The girls yelled to see if I was alright a few times.  I stopped working at dinner time.  The back wall was mostly done, I had used the remaining light blue paint, which covered the 3 walls once, and then I mixed another blue with white and painted again.

Friday I was sure it wouldn't take long to finish, but I kept fixing little things and switching colors of paint and cleaning paint brushes.  I think it took from 8 a.m. until about 1 p.m. or so to declared myself finished.

Sorry.  This one's blurry.  Oops!

Derek helped me put shelves back up today.  We added one that is easier for me to reach, and so I just put silly pictures on the top.  I've never decorated a laundry room before!

Our laundry room is a bit crowded, but it works well!  We sort clothes into the baskets on the left on laundry day and use the other baskets to switch things from washer to dryer to wherever they are going to get folded.

I love that I don't have to climb up on the dryer to fetch a new bottle of detergent anymore!
YAY!

Staying Safe From Covid19: Can Princess Choose the Right?

Princess!  Naturally I think she is hilarious!

(You just need to click on the links below to watch the videos)
Video #1

Video #2

Productive Social Distancing

I haven't spent a lot of time reading lately, and almost no time playing instruments.  What I have done is projects.  These have given me something to do while the boys work on school so that I don't stress out over their school as much.  My projects have given me a chance to use some of my rustier skills, and to develop new ones.  Here are some of the things that I've been spending time on.

This is the jean quilt I started over 20 years ago.  I am still not done, but I have a plan.  I plan to wait until a week when no rain is expected, and set it up outside on the quilt frames.  Of course, that only works if I'm really fast at getting it done, or if it is before the time of year when the sprinklers come on every other day or so.

This was the beginning of me putting my table back together.

This is me seeing what it would look like together, but the top isn't attached here because I hadn't painted the checker board.

This is the table all taped for painting.  I used gaffer tape because it was exactly the right width.  Derek helped me a lot, and it took longer than it was supposed to because I measured wrong and it was off center.  I should remember to measure twice!  Or maybe 3 times!

It turned out awesome!  I still want to spray a polyurethane coat or two on the top to protect it, but it seems hard to ask someone to help me move it to a better painting location!

These are the yellow folding chairs my parents gave us years ago.  We have used them quite a bit.  When I couldn't go to D.I. anymore to look for the two chairs I had in mind to go with my checkerboard table, I realized that I could repaint these, and they would do just fine for now.

Jake did a lot of the work for this.  He dug out almost all of the dirt for the fire pit.  I carried the paver things to go around it, which wasn't very smart of me since Connor and Amanda were in the back yard and Connor would have been glad to help if I had asked.  He would have been happy to help if I didn't ask too, but he didn't notice what I was doing until I was on the last one!  We cooked in the fire pit on Tuesday evening for dinner.  We have tried to do that on the Tuesday of Easter week as much as we could.  Jesus stayed on the Mount of Olives during his last week before his crucifixion and I figure He would have had a fire to sit by, or maybe to cook on.

This is my bean trellis -- made out of our old tree's branches.  I want to try to grow pole beans this year, more because I think I'll like the plants than for the beans, but maybe the grown up me will like home grown beans?

I worked on this today.  It's my fairy garden.  I'm not done with it, but I decided to try to transplant some plants that were mostly dead somewhere else to see if they would revive, and to transplant some that had spread all over, because it's cheaper to do that than to buy more!

This wasn't really a project, except surrounding it with rocks and putting nice dirt on top.  This is my pretty bush that is getting ready to bloom.

What you probably can't see in this picture is that, in the dirt at the bottom of the picture pea plants and radishes are growing.  They are just barely poking through!

Here are the yellow chairs turned blue.  I'm actually not done with them, but I got really, really tired of spray painting!

I started on the dark blue ones, which also aren't done.  I might need to sand those a bit and try again.  Did I mention that I got really tired of spray painting?  (And no, Derek's car was not parked there when I was painting.  That would have been a bad idea).

I cleaned that garage too, rearranging things a bit (with Derek's permission since most of it was his stuff).  I have absolutely loved the warm sunshiny days when I could go outside and do things -- even if it was just pulling weeds, or restaining my garden boxes.  Mostly, I am enjoying looking around at things and seeing if I can make them better.  Derek and my kids have been helpful and encouraging.  It turns out that social distancing can be very productive!

Tia Turns 27!

On April 5th we had a birthday celebration for Tia.  On the 6th she actually had her birthday.  I did not end up with all of the pictures since I didn't take them all -- but I have some!

Tia with her first present.

I've never seen anyone so happy to get exercise bands before!

Tia is opening a picture of her present.  It arrived on her birthday and Jake and I took it to her on the day after her birthday.

Kayli really wanted Tia to have a way to play the piano and so we got her a full length keyboard.  She can turn it down if other people will be bothered, or she can put on headphones.  I love that my girls play the piano and enjoy it!

Tia is beautiful and fun and kind.  We are very thankful for her in our family.  She is creative, and smart, and has a contagious laugh which she uses often.  Happy Birthday to Tia!