Good Friday -- For You and Me!

 

Photo by Duncan Sanchez on Unsplash

Last night I was thinking about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane asking His Father if there was another way to save me; another way to save all of us than the pain and suffering ahead of Him.  He asked, but He knew that there was not another way and He chose to move forward with Heavenly Father's plan and become our Savior.

Today I think of Him willingly letting people mock Him, and scourge Him, and nail Him to a cross without giving in to what surely must have been at least a little tempting -- showing them dramatically who He really was and refusing to save them.  But, despite it all, He loved them and He also had all of us to take into account.  I do not comprehend how exactly it works, but I have learned over the years that Jesus would have been willing to go thought the suffering even if it was only me that needed saving.  

When I am hurting, afraid, frustrated, sad, lonely, happy, joyful, tired, energetic, helpful, thoughtful, thoughtless, and all of the other adjectives that could describe me at any given moment, I am still perfectly loved by my Savior, and so are you.  That is why today is Good Friday.  Today Jesus chose to do the ultimate good thing and save us from sin, and death.

"Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.  But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was  bruised for our iniquities:  the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."  Isaiah 53: 4-5 KJV

I hope today you will truly feel the perfect love of our Savior.  Jesus. The truly Good. 

A Campaign for Kindness

 

I enjoyed being with Brigham today!

I just finished a book called "Reach Out Gather In" by Karen Ehman, and between the thoughts the author had and several talks I heard in General Conference this weekend, I decided to make my own campaign for kindness.  In all of my struggles in the past while, I'm afraid I have focused too much on myself, and not remembered to follow my Mom's advice and example of, when struggling, looking for someone else to serve.  Of course, it is really, really hard to do that sometimes and I am grateful to be feeling happier, and more energetic, and so perhaps it won't be such a difficult campaign!

In her book, Karen Ehman made a list of several ideas of how to serve strangers, family, friends, acquaintances, and pretty much anyone and everyone.  I am planning on dragging Dan into my "campaign".  It is Spring Break and, since we have no exciting travel plans, why not try out a plan for doing as many kind and thoughtful things as possible!  

I am so grateful for people who are friendly and kind even when I am feeling emotional and am overthinking everything!  It is helpful to me to know that I have such good family and friends and even acquaintances who love and care for me no matter what.  I have had people reach out to me, and gather me in as a friend when I needed one.

May God bless us all to be constantly in a campaign for kindness, and may He strengthen us and give us the grace we need when it is difficult!

Teddy on the left, Elder Bednar on the television, Tia on the right, and Brigham in the middle.
Who do you think it was easiest for us to pay attention too?

SURVIVOR

 

Photo by K. Mitch Hodge on Unsplash
*I have this picture on my phone cover right now.  Life has its ebbs and flows and just now it feels like lava rock -- unyielding, hard, and sharp.  The flowers are to remind me that beautiful things can grow out of hard places.  I might feel like I'm stuck in a bit of a crevice right now, but I refuse not to bloom!

SURVIVOR

S is for Sherie striving to survive stress, sadness, loneliness, and the constant battle to believe that my mistakes aren’t enough to sink me, or those around me down to where we are unsaveable. I choose to believe because S is for Savior, and I (we all) have one.

U is for upset.  I am upset that I cry so much and feel so broken as to be dangerous – like broken glass waiting for the unsuspecting bare feet to happen by and be cut.  The glass has no ill intent.  It is just glass that is broken, and I have no ill intent but my brokenness might be just as hurtful to those around me as broken glass is to bare feet.  U also stands for umbrellas, or shelter from the storms of life.  Jesus is my shelter. He holds me close, and safe.

R is for reasons.  Reasons to be sad, and stressed.  Reasons to feel overwhelmed and alone.  There are so many real reasons!  Reasons are also there for hope and for not giving up, but those reasons are harder to see and hear and have to be worked for even when I am too tired to even sleep.  It seems rare to have a day when I do not have to fight for my good reasons.

V is for how vicious life can seem, waiting until you are down and hurting to throw yet another log on the already burning house.  V is also for the victory that I hope for if I can just keep from giving up.  What does victory look like?  It looks like something as “simple” as a good night’s rest and enough energy to handle my own mistakes with more grace and less pride.

I is for the one I focus on too much (me!).  It is for insidious and persistent thoughts that say I will never be good enough.  No matter how good my intentions are, my actions will never measure up.  I is also for interest and the good that interest in others and in learning can do.  It is especially for the great I AM who created life to be beautiful and good and who made a way for us to survive and even thrive when life is hard.

V is for new velcro.  It sticks together like our family does throughout all of our difficulties.  It is also for victory.  I have hope that God will never let me, or any of us go to something so simple as being worn out, but will open the way for our eventual victory over all that is hard and that seems hopeless.

O is for the the oxygen I currently do not get enough of at night.  It is for how ornery I feel, and how obvious it is to me that I am barely holding together and that I am close to breaking like Humpty Dumpty. But unlike Humpty, there is One that can save me.  He did His saving work already and I just need to look, and trust, and know that the One and Only Begotten Son of God will always be happy to see and hear from me, and He doesn’t want me to quit trying.

R Is for resurrection, when all that is broken will become new and whole.  R is for this race that I am running.  I do not feel like I am succeeding any more than I did at 9th grade track, but I didn’t give up then and I won’t now.  I am a SURVIVOR

Armor

 

Photo by Jonathan Kemper on Unsplash

Armor (Verb):  provide (someone) with emotional, social, or other defenses (Definition from Google)

I stopped writing a while ago because in writing what I was thankful for I felt repetitive and was a little bored with my own writing.  As I told a friend, "How many times can I write that I am thankful for turkeys?"  She was wise enough to know that writing is therapeutic to me and she encouraged me to not stop.  I have tried every day since then but couldn't manage.  It did get me thinking though, and that was helpful.

I have taken to listening to the radio station "Positive Encouraging K-LOVE" and I have been so thankful to have uplifting messages and songs that I could access easily.  Since music affects me so much, I decided to create a helpful playlist.  I spent quite a bit of time thinking of a good name for it.  I chose Armor.  I felt in need of a defense against the continuous flood of negative emotions that comes with depression and a protection against all that could separate me from my belief in the love of my Savior.  (I have severe obstructive sleep apnea and being tired is my main depression trigger.  That is not helpful!)

Most of all I want to lift up my heart and rejoice and take upon myself God's whole armor so that I can withstand the "evil day" and, having done all, to stand (with God).  (paraphrased from Ephesians and from the Doctrine and Covenants).

I am thankful for musical armor and the armor that is the love of family and friends.  I am thankful for the power of God's word, and the gift of prayer.  And, though it really is funny, I am thankful for the Elk Ridge turkeys -- especially the one that I named George today. (He reminded me of something from the movie George of the Jungle).

Meet George.  He made me smile today.

  

The Big Room

 We have one of those "open concept" homes, and today I spent a lot of time in the big room.  I ate there, read with Dan there, played tensies with Dan, cleaned up, and had some of my book club members over for a white elephant book exchange and tasty cheesecake that I didn't make.  Any book I picked up turned out to be about WWII in some way.  I don't have any pictures of book club, but the ladies were kind and fun.  I do have a picture of a book puzzle!  It seems a little bit related.  It was a really good day, and I'm sure Derek was glad not to have to remove another 2 feet of snow from the driveway!

Snow, Snow, Snow, Snow, SNOW!

 I felt like one of the "old folks" today because I kept saying, "I haven't seen this much snow since the winter of 1993!"  We lived in Bountiful then and I was pregnant with Tia.  I remember standing in the backyard with the snow pretty high on my legs.  Today I went out with Teddy.  He started hopping through the snow and I took this picture:

The snow was up to mid thigh on me back there.  For some reason I decided to walk around to the front of the house.  Probably because I like deep snow.  I just didn't bargain for quite how deep it was!  It quickly became too deep for Teddy -- up over his head -- and so he had to follow me as I broke the trail.  It was up to my waist!  It was a lot of work to get to the front door!  Teddy saw the front porch and bounded the last few feet while I tried to get my boot unstuck (with my foot still in it).  It took a while and once I freed my booted foot I ended up crawling the last few feet!

Kayli spent most of the day at Tia and Mike's house and sent me cute pictures of Brigham out playing in the snow.  She said she taught him to eat it and he just plopped down in the snow looking pleased that he was surrounded by a big snack!

I might have mentioned that I love this little character!

  

Quotes I Want To Keep

 

Photo by Nature Uninterrupted Photography on Unsplash

 "What I envy in others is showing me what I desire for myself."

"What I wish I had done yesterday is showing me what I need to do today."

"I probably see myself more negatively than anyone else."

"Most people think I'm doing better than I do"

"I don't need to feel guilty over what I cannot control"

"Nobody is required to live up to my expectations of them."

"We can either embrace someone for who they are in this moment or decide to limit the presence they have in our lives."

"It's safe to let go of past hurts once I've extracted the lesson from them."

Feelings and Emotions:  Question them!  Is this helpful?  Truthful?  Coming from a clear perspective or from a past wound?

*I would surely like to tell you where all of these came from but I just found them in my last year's planner and didn't want to keep the loose leaf papers around since I can remember where my blog is easier than I can remember where I put some random papers!

Sunday: Enjoying Brigham -- plus Monday

 

I had taken to using my Uke like a drum while Brigham tried to put his hand in the hole.
He likes to point at my ukelele hanging on the wall and spend a couple of minutes on my lap playing the ukelele while he is here.  I count it as snuggle time!

I'm sure that you all enjoy my one grandson as much as I do right?  Also, so that I can say I'm caught up, today I cleaned more stuff, did laundry, and while folding laundry, watched quite a few episodes of a show where they fix up old houses in Galveston Texas.  I did dishes too.  What a thrilling day.  Then I felt sad and sorry for myself for a while, took a shower, ate, and watched a movie with the family.  Vacation, such as it was, is over and it's time to get back to a normal schedule.  Happy President's Day!

Saturday: Closets and Sledding

 I actually didn't post yesterday for the first time in a long time so I'll just do two quick ones to make up for it.  By bedtime yesterday I was having a hard time staying awake.  I have had good days, and have enjoyed myself, but I spent a lot of energy organizing our closet!  I again forgot the before pictures except for the picture of Derek's stuff all over our room.  Here are the finished products

My side

Derek's side

 I am rather pleased with my work.  What a nice closet!

Even better than closets is that Brigham came and I got to go sledding with him in our back yard.  Not down the steep hill, just a really, really short hill.  He liked sledding with somebody but wasn't so sure about being pulled around.  I only have pictures of him in his awesome snow suit.

Brigham preparing to go outside.

Teddy stalking the abominable snow Brigham

While I worked hard on closets, Derek worked on finishing up the grout on the downstairs shower wall and preparing the floor for its tile.  I'll get pictures of that for another day.  That does explain the white knees in the picture.

Seeing Olivia

 Derek took me to the SHHS basketball game tonight.  We saw quite a few relatives and got to chat with a cousin of Derek's and a little with his Uncle Jim and Aunt Carla.  Partway through the game as Derek was focused on the game and I was scanning the crowd for familiar faces, I remembered who we were playing and that I have a niece who cheers for them!  Sure enough, there she was!  

I ran down at the end of half time to say hello and get a more close up picture.
Her Dad came to say hello too.
These are my favorite things about community games.  Finding family and friends
in the crowds!  Olivia's smile for me made my night!

Something To Smile About

 

Teddy in his bath

robe!

Blossoming Like A Rose

Adenium Obesum - The Desert Rose
Photo by Chee Seng Chin on Unsplash

Isaiah 35 1-2 (KJV) The wilderness and the solitary place shall be glad for them; and the desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose.It shall blossom abundantly, and rejoice even with joy and singing; . . .

I was listening to the Christian radio station on the way home and there were 2 people talking about this scripture.  One had just written a Bible Study and presumably this scripture was in it, and I liked her thoughts.

To her the desert is a hard place.  A place of trial where the only way to survive is to trust in God and rely on Him and His mercies.  She talked about it being a place that she wants to leave.  Perhaps we think that if we follow God to the best of our ability He will (or should) lead us out of the wilderness.  Instead, she said, the Lord helps that desert place blossom like a rose.  She guesses most people will spend 90 percent of their lives in the desert.  I wonder if using this analogy, our whole lives are a desert!

The question is, which desert will we be in?  Will we be in the desert that is hard and we can't see God in anything around us or in anything that is happening and so we give up reaching for Him and wander aimlessly while our body and soul whither?  Or will we reach for Him, follow Him, and patiently wait for Him and find that our desert has blossomed like a rose and no longer looks or feels like a desert even though we will still encounter thorns here and there.  

In this desert, even encountering thorns and pain will not turn us from God if we just remember how bleak the desert used to be, and how much it has grown up into something beautiful!  Truly, in that desert we will rejoice with joy and with singing!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Photo by Susn Matthiessen on Unsplash

 Actually, I was super tired today, and I started doing taxes.  Boo!!  However, I also saw a lot of nice people today and I am going to go to bed early!  Hooray!

Also my Mom mailed me a super sweet Valentine that I opened today which I loved.