Indivisible

Photo by chris robert on Unsplash

Maybe, like me, when you hear the word indivisible you automatically think of The Pledge of Allegiance.  In the Pledge, indivisible is used to describe the Republic, The United States of America.  It means that we, as a Nation, cannot be divided.  This is the land of "liberty and justice for all".  It is the "land of the free and the home of the brave."  It is the land that I love; the country that I am loyal to.  The problem is, our country does not feel indivisible.  It feels very divided.

You don't have to go far to hear, see, and feel division.  There are Republicans who hate Democrats, and Democrats who hate Republicans.  There are whites who hate blacks, and blacks who hate whites.  There are divisions among and between the religious, the spiritual, and the non-believers.  There are divisions centered around women's rights and what that means.  If someone believes something, there is bound to be someone who is against it.  But differences aren't really the problem.  The problem is in how we handle differences.  We can ALL be different and still not be divided.

It is not true that if everyone is special that means nobody is.  Everyone IS special -- but they are uniquely special.  We are all children of God with different gifts and talents.  We are all unique, and that means we will have differences.  The key to being indivisible is to love.  To find a way to listen and try to understand each other.  It doesn't count if we expect everyone to listen to us because we are "right" but we won't listen to anyone else.  Most people think they are right, and most people won't have their mind changed by a lecture, or by being yelled at, or by being shunned.  Two people can believe they are right on opposite ends of an issue and still get along.  

In the Bible it says "Charity never faileth".  It does not say that "being right never faileth".  Charity, or love, is the only way that our families, neighborhoods, cities, states, and country will truly be indivisible.

Poor Unfortunate Souls

Photo by Aubrey Odom on Unsplash
BYU:  Enter to Learn, Go Forth to Serve.

**Written on Aug. 29 -- I just forgot to publish it!

Today I was watching Brigham while Tia went to the doctor.  I enjoyed watching him SO much and it brought back a memory from long ago.  I was around 17 and working at a real estate office in Colorado.  I had been accepted to BYU and was going there in February and a couple of the agents were making it clear that they felt it was foolish of me to go there.  I would just end up getting married and having children and they did not feel like that was a very worthwhile thing to do.  One woman even mentioned that she had had a hysterectomy so she wouldn't have to deal with having children.  I was not swayed by their opinions and felt sorry for them even as they felt sorry for me.

There are so many people who want children and struggle to have them and I hope they will get their chance. As time goes on it seems that there are more and more that choose not to have children.  I am so sad for all that they miss.  Having children is difficult.  That is absolutely true.  They are little humans who need a LOT of care when they are born and have a lot to learn, but it is so fun to watch them learn!  I love it when children take my finger and want me to go with them somewhere.  I love that when they are little they have such an enthusiasm for helping, even if their help doesn't really make anything faster.  Little things that we take for granted are fascinating to children and help us remember to find joy in little things.  They love to laugh and cheer and their joy is contagious.  I love little arms giving me a hug, and I love watching a child looking so peaceful in sleep when they have been so very busy getting into things all day long.

Everyone gets to make their own choices, and maybe it is better for people who don't want children to not have them, but I can't help thinking that one day they will regret it.  I still wish I could remember every little sweet, funny, wonderful thing my children did or said when they were little.  I am glad I wrote some down because no matter how much I want to remember, memories still fade.  I am also glad I have gotten to watch them grow and learn until they are grown up, smart, intelligent, sweet, fun, and sometimes still funny humans.  

I did get a degree at BYU, but I also did as the people at the real estate office predicted and got married and had children and I have absolutely no regrets about that!

Today's New Friend is Tomorrow's Family

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Today I was watching television while making Dan's birthday cake (I'm writing this on his birthday).  A character in the show was sad because she couldn't be "good enough".  She couldn't fix all that she wanted to fix.  No matter how hard she worked at helping others, there were still so many hard things people were dealing with that she couldn't fix.

Of course, there really is no way for any of us to be "good enough" to solve all of the problems that others have, no matter how much we love those people.  That really is what God is for.  But I did like what another character said.  He said that she wasn't taking into account "the end game".  When she asked what that meant, she was told that she could not see how much difference she made over time by the things she did.  He then proceeded to take out of his wallet a fortune she had given him the day they met that said, "Today's new friend is tomorrow's family".  She had given it to him because she wanted him to be counted as her family, and it had meant something to him.

Of course this was a fiction story and yet it is true that we cannot see the long term effects of our actions.  Perhaps the smile we gave someone got passed along to hundreds of people by the end of the day.  Perhaps the text we sent let someone feel cared about when they were lonely.  Maybe that phone call we made lifted someone's spirits so that they were able to lift those around them.  We just don't know what good we may do, and so it is good to keep trying, even if, on any given day, we think we are not enough.  And perhaps, as we work to make a difference, we will make new friends who will be like family.

The Third "Noble Truth"

 

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash
Isn't this a cool picture?

"Suffering can end!"  And that doesn't mean after we die.  "The misery can stop if life can be approached with wisdom instead of desire."  Of course, I happen to think we won't be 100 percent wise until we die, and maybe even a while after that, but we surely can suffer a lot less if we practice!  According to Buddah, the thing we need to do is to meditate.  This gives us an opportunity to untie "knots that have accumulated in your mind over a lifetime of experiences."  We also can change patterns of thinking that have been developed in our lifetime that may not be serving us.

So -- if we want to end suffering -- we need to learn to meditate (patiently), and we need to condition ourselves to use wisdom instead of desire in the choices we make.  This is very like pondering God's word, and taking time to pray and listen. I suspect we could all use a LOT of practice being still, and dealing with all of the thoughts and worries that show up in the stillness!

I'm sure that my explanation is very simplified, but it's the best I have today!

Dan Thomas' Birthday

 

This is Dan when he was one (and 4 months)
So cute!

This is Dan six days before he turned 17.  Time sure goes by fast!
In this picture he is hugging Kayli's dog Teddy.

When Dan was little he loved being in pictures and always liked to pose dramatically.  Now he avoids most pictures.  He was, and is "twirly".  He likes to spin around and used to do it while holding conversations.  He is much better at being still while talking now.  His teachers loved him and he has been a fountain of knowledge about all sorts of things for a long time.  He is very creative and we so enjoyed his "Police Officer Dan" phase.  It was so fun!  He has lots and lots of story ideas, and I enjoy the animations he has created, and continues to create. 

He is home schooled now, mostly online, but he still goes to seminary and has good friends that attend the local high school and who keep in contact with him and occasionally ask him to do things with them.  One of them even went to the trouble of figuring out what foods Dan is allergic to and making brownies for him!  They had to be made without eggs, milk, and nuts and he really liked them.

Dan is a really good, creative, fun person and we are very thankful that he came to our family.  Happy Birthday Dan!   

Sweet Sunday

Sunday is sweet, in part, because Tia and Brigham come to visit.  These pictures make me smile because Brigham looks so serious.  He is concentrating I guess.  My favorite thing is when the train went downhill once and he raised his arms up and cheered.

Brigham actually came on Saturday too.  Unfortunately I didn't baby proof my house enough and so he had put glue in his hair and his Mom was washing it in my bathroom sink when Derek and I got home. Brigham was NOT happy.  I got there when his hair was about clean and got a towel and he thought I rescued him so he gave me a big kiss:-)  and a hug too.  What good timing on my part!

The train set was a combination of Jake's and Dan's train sets.  Jake set it up and I put the batteries in the train and remote that still work.  I like to play trains and am glad to have Brigham join me!

Change Can Bring Perspective

 

Photo by Sergey Shmidt on Unsplash

I didn't know what to write about this evening and so here is a quote from my Magnolia Magazine.

"Small everyday breaks in patterns disrupt what's familiar and influence the way the brain fires and responds--as well as the way we relate to what's around us.  Our brain actually rewires.  We become more flexible thinkers, more willing to step  out of our own shadows to see things in a different light."

I think that means that changing the patterns of our days even a little bit can be helpful to us by helping us see things from a different perspective.   

 

The Second "Noble Truth"

This is the Payson temple.  I took this picture on Tuesday.
It may seem odd to put this picture on a post about Buddhism, but I believe
that there is truth to be had in many places, and Buddah spent a good deal of his life
trying to figure out the how of being happy and content.

"The Cause of Suffering is Desire".  As I understand what is being explained in this section of the book "Buddhism, A Complete Introduction to the History, Traditions, and Beliefs", our "self" is made up of our senses, perceptions, feelings, our will, and our responses and these things are constantly changing.  It is our job to ask if these things are "pushing [us] around, leading [us] into trouble, [or]becoming an excessive preoccupation".  We are to aim to not indulge or avoid our sensory experiences but to aim for "the Middle Way".

I think really the part I wanted to think about most were these two quotes.

"...the most direct cause of suffering is wanting something -- desire".

This reminds me of having expectations that I don't communicate to someone and the frustration that comes when that expectation isn't met.  Not because whoever I was expecting something from didn't want to give it, but because I did not communicate what I wanted.

"The desire that you have for so many things keeps you from seeing things as they are." 

This just reminds me of a time I was at D.I. and was actually praying not to want so many things.  I have been SO blessed that, though it is not bad to have things, it is good for me to focus more on what I already have and am grateful for. 

When People and Deer Meet

 This morning while I was working outside a neighbor came by and we got to discussing deer.  He does not like having them around, but he sounded most frustrated that people feed them and so they stay here, in their winter feeding ground, all year round.  They eat what people feed them, and any plants that seem delicious.  Just a little while later I looked out my window and saw a 4 point buck walking around outside of the house.  He stopped for quite a while on the back porch.

This is not a terrific picture since it was taken through a screen, but you can see him there close to the house.  He looked through the glass door so long that I wondered what he was thinking.  As he started to walk back the way he had come, he paused to look in one of the basement windows.

By this time, I had discovered that he has wire wrapped all around his antlers and at least one ear.  I really wanted to fix it, but knew he wouldn't let me get close enough to do that. 

He walked around and laid down by the air conditioner, which is where I managed to stand on Derek's night stand and get a picture without the screen.  You can see the wires.

A little before 4 Trisa texted to ask if he was damaged.  I decided to look out the window again and he was still there!  He rested in the shade there for six hours!

 After a bit I decided to go see what would happen if I walked down the path to the back yard to see if I could get any better pictures.  He hopped right up and we stared at each other for a while and then he left.

I love to watch the deer and am sorry to see he got tangled in something not found in "the wild".  I do also know how frustrating it is when deer decide to eat, pull out, or stomp on plants we just bought.  I still am happy to live up here where we get to try to figure out the best way to get along with the too tame deer.

Here are pictures of the deer when I went to check on him.

Here he is.  If the flower was turned around it would look like he was wearing it to beautify himself!

This is just before he walked off.  I do still feel sad that I  could help untangle him and I hope that somehow the wire won't bother him too much!

Setting Aside the Schedule

One of our new flowers bloomed today!

 Last night I planned to write my blog, and had come up with something to write about.  I have been trying to fit a certain list of things that are important to me into my schedule as many times as I can and writing is one of them.  But, there are people in my life who are always going to be more important than time to write.  I like keeping a schedule, but I am aware that there are times when it is best to set the schedule aside and take a little time to listen.  It was a happy choice for me.

Photo by Antonia Kofod on Unsplash

What I had planned on writing about were some quotes from a book I have on the traditions, history, and beliefs or Buddhism.  I was impressed with what Jake remembered from having studied different religions in high school!  Apparently Buddah, at the beginning, was very rich but not very happy.  He decided to try giving up all of his riches.  Again he was not happy.  So, he came up with the "Middle Way" which is a more balanced approach to life. 

He came up with "Four Noble Truths".  The first is "The Truth of Suffering".  Most suffering is self-inflicted (whether we realize it or not) and that is good news because what we cause, we can also change.  Our sufferings are caused by "The three poisons", which are greed, hatred, and delusion (ignorance).  He suggests that in order to reduce these poisons in our life we practice generosity, friendliness, compassion, and "waking up to a more accurate experience of reality". 

There are more interesting thoughts, and useful suggestions for how to live life in a happier, more balanced way.  I will continue another day! 

Planting in the Rain

I love living here in our blue house.  It smells like pine trees with the canyon breezes.

Today for our date Derek and I bought lots of plants to finish up the front yard.  When they were unloaded I discovered we were three short and so I went and got three more.  As we planted, the weather went from sunny to stormy.  There was a lot of thunder and lightning and some rain.  We kept planting until we ran out of good dirt and so four of the plants will have to wait until Monday to go into the ground.  

The yard is looking awesome even though it isn't done quite yet.  Here are some pictures.

This caged bush is now in the spot where the "Brigham bush" used to be.
We got the Brigham bush from Mike's parents when Brigham was born.  It is really a Weigela and for some reason it has not thrived in this spot.  We moved it and hope it will like its new spot better.

This line of bushes will one day grow into a hedge and will help our fun path have the "wild" feel we are going for.

This is the path.  It will look quite different when the plants are bigger.
The dark stripes are just where I got water when I was watering the plants.

These plants are on the mailbox side of the driveway.  There will be bark where there is just black paper now.  I did mention we aren't finished!

Pretty!

That's it.  We will hopefully be all of the way done with the front yard by the end of August.

Mike!

 

This is Tia and Mike on their trip to Alaska.
I got the picture off of Tia's Facebook page.

Today is Mike's birthday.  He married Tia a little over five years ago.  Since then he went to basic training and AIT for the Army and has been in the reserves.  He also became a Provo policeman.  For a while he helped coach high school lacrosse and worked a side job catching shoplifters at Dillards.  Then he became a Dad!  YAY!  

Mike is busy and works hours that make it hard for him to visit as much as we'd like, but he has always been a willing helper when we have needed him.  He drove from Provo last year just to help take big trees out of the truck, and then he drove right home again.  That's almost an hour of travel for not much time working -- but we are super grateful!  He even hosted and cooked for his own birthday dinner last year!  This year I decided he could have a break from cooking and hosting so I made some food instead and he and Tia and Brigham came over for dinner.

My favorite things about Mike are the things he does for Tia and Brigham.  He works really to make their yard both beautiful and beneficial.  They have berries and vegetables and chickens who lay eggs and like to escape.  They have at least one fruit tree and a nice patio that he put in and where we have had some very tasty family dinners.  He has also done a LOT of work in their house since they bought it.

Mike hadn't ever really been around babies until Brigham was born, but he jumped right in and learned how to take care of babies and then toddlers.  Mike likes spending time with Brigham and Tia, and I am glad.  I like the stories from Tia about Brigham trying to "tell on her" by yelling for Daddy.  Brigham is one cute boy! (I know -- this is supposed to be about Mike).

Today Mike took the day off for his birthday and I hope that he enjoys whatever he has decided to spend his time on.  We love Mike and are glad to have him as a part of our family.

My Mom

Ray, Tina, Sherie, Mom, Brian, Jenny
This was my Dad's birthday weekend and we wish he had been able to come too.
This is my most recent picture of my Mom.

Today is my Mom's birthday and so she was already on my mind, but as I read Romans chapter 12 where Paul is describing how to live as a saint, I realized that it is a very good description of my Mom.  Here are a few examples.

My Mom is very good at loving people.  It does not matter how much or little they have or what they believe.  She loves them the same and serves them with everything she has.  She serves the Lord in the best ways possible.

My Mom's life, like most people's, has been full of good things, and bad things.  Hard things and easier things.  She has been patient with tribulation, and has been constant in prayer to gain the strength required, or the knowledge necessary to deal with hard things.

If there is anyone "given to hospitality" it is my Mother.  She has welcomed family, friends, and strangers to her home and table.  She has given food, kindness, and a listening ear.  She has rejoiced with those that rejoice and wept with those that weep.

When she was younger and was treated unkindly by the very people who "should" know better, she gave them grace, praying that somewhere along their path they would learn to be more compassionate and kind.  She didn't condemn others when it would have been the natural thing to do.

If anyone has avoided being "conformed to this world" and "transformed by the renewing of [her] mind" it is my Mom.  She has studied, learned and lived the gospel of Christ.  Jesus' love has made all of the difference in her life, and because of how she lives, in the life of her family and many, many others.

I hope today is a wonderful day for a wonderful Mom.