Alphabet Gratitude

Teddy and his Toy

I was just reading in my journal about a night I couldn't sleep and was getting frustrated and decided to come up with something to be thankful for that went along with each letter of the alphabet.  That sounded like a good thing for now.

Aunts, apricots
Brothers and Bread
Connor, cousins and crackers.
Dads, Derek, Dan and dryers
Elephant
Friends
Grandparents and grins
Hats
Ice
Jake, Jelly
Kayli and kindness
Love and laughter
Moms, Mike and music
Naps
Orange juice
Pumpkins, people, puppets
Quilts
Rain and rainbows
Sisters
Trisa, Travis, Tia, Teddy, and toilet paper (hey -- we need this!)
Uncles, umbrellas, and uplifting words
Vans, values
Work, writing
X-rays (It's all I can think of and they are really cool)
Yellow
Zoo

Labor Day Weekend

First, we celebrated by watching the Onion Days fireworks.

Then Kayli, Avery (one of Kayli's cousins), and I headed to St. George -- stopping in Cedar City on the way.
This is Travis having stake for lunch.

 

Chewy with Avery and Kayli with Trisa

Kayli and Connor.  We stopped off to see Connor and his apartment too.

Avery and Kayli with the unicorns in their Grandparent's garage. 
They liked going swimming!

I didn't get pictures of the whole weekend.  We were going to stay at the house associated with the above garage but the air conditioner wasn't working -- and it was an 108 degree day.  Trisa, Travis and Connor came to swim and stayed there playing games until evening.  When they left -- I left for my sister's house.  I was done being hot.  A couple of hours later I went and picked up Kayli and Avery who had decided that it was going to be impossible to sleep in a house that warm!  It is good that we have quite a few possible places to stay in St. George and that Jenny and Jeff didn't have any company!

The next day was Sunday, and my parent's 58th anniversary.  We went to church with them and then we had a family dinner in the clubhouse in my parent's neighborhood.  I forgot to take pictures and so I took these when I went to say goodbye on my way out of town.   Trisa and Connor came down after dinner to my parents house to see all of the projects they have finished.  They played games there and then came to Jenny's for a while too.  It was nice to see them!

Mom and Lizzie.  I happened to remember to take pictures while they were showing me the painting my Dad was getting ready to start!

My hard working Dad getting ready to paint.

Meanwhile.....

Derek and the boys were doing our more traditional Labor Day / Onion Day weekend activities with family.  Here are a couple of pictures taken by Dan's Aunt Tonya.  Dan hates parades, but he enjoyed facing away from the parade while wearing noise cancelling headphones that were playing 80s music, and reading Snoopy.  That was a happy time!

Dan and random parade attenders trying to cool down in the shade.

It was a busy weekend but a good one!

Being Right

When Jesus told his disciples to cast their nets on the other side of the ship, they could have stubbornly believed that they were right.  They knew how to fish, and they had already tried everything.  But in trusting that Christ knew something they didn't, they cast their net where he told them too and caught more than they thought possible!
(Picture used by permission from churchofjesuschrist.org)

→→→→→→→→→→→→→

Jody Moore said on a podcast that "our brain would rather be right and miserable than wrong".  I think this is something good to think about, because admitting we are wrong, or that there is the possibility that we might be wrong, allows us to be open to learning more.

Sometimes the problem isn't that we are entirely wrong, but that we think we have the full knowledge of something and therefore are not open to learning more.  She gave the example of thinking she knew Heavenly Father, and therefore not looking to learn more about Him, but in realizing that she might not know everything, she discovered that He is so much more, and so much better than she thought, and was able to draw closer to Him.

I remember when one of my kids was having trouble with something at school and I told them repeatedly that they needed to go talk to their teacher.  They did not want to do that even though I thought it was the only way, or at least the "right" way to fix the trouble.  I was wrong.  They came up with their own way that was just as effective.

So when we are absolutely sure that we are right, it might be good to take a minute to think about the possibility that we might be missing something important, and we might, in fact, be wrong.  Admitting that there is at least a possibility of us being wrong can open us up to the possibility of learning new and important things.

Responsibility and Opportunity

For many years I too often let myself be overwhelmed by responsibility.  I felt like I had the responsibility to always choose the right -- both for me, and for everyone in my family, and maybe a few other people on the side.  I was sure that I was supposed to always say the "right" thing, and teach my children the "right" thing at the "right" time and in the "right" way.  Of course, deep down I knew that was impossible, and so a lot of time I went into avoidance mode.  I stuck my nose in a book and tried not to think about how I was failing.  I was so overwhelmed that it never even dawned on me that I could take the opportunity to study, and learn how to think in a new way, and how to be more at peace with what I can do, and what I can't.

I still sometimes find myself shouldering responsibilities that aren't mine, and making mine sound much harder than they need to be.  I sometimes find myself stuck in trying to do everything and do it right.  Thankfully, I learned to take the opportunity to study more.  I have learned that I am responsible for me, and I am responsible to teach my children.  I have learned that they are responsible for them, and they are responsible to learn.  I can't make them.  I have learned that I am never going to do and say everything right all of the time, and I will occasionally get tired, and discouraged.  That is a part of being a normal human.  My job is to do the best I can, and to turn to Jesus for help when (not if) I make mistakes.  My job is to love everyone to the best of my ability, even the flawed person that is myself.

My responsibilities are opportunities to love, to learn, to practice, and to never give up trying.  They are opportunities to trust Jesus who is the Savior.  When my responsibilities feel heavy, they are opportunities to find rest, and peace knowing that I am not in charge, and the One who is has power and wisdom far beyond my own. 

Cling To The Vine

In John Chapter 15 Jesus talks of Himself as the vine, and us as the branches.  He tells us over and over to abide in Him.  He says if we abide in Him we will bear much fruit, but that we can do nothing without Him. 

I was reading in Anxious For Nothing today and the author, Max Lucado, talked about this.  He talked about how hard we might be trying to create the fruit that will show we are attached to the vine.  But this can become an impossible to do list.  As I think of it now, this can easily become perfectionism.  We are trying so hard to do what someone who loves Christ would do -- because we do love Him.  But I liked this thought:

"You long to be "anxious for nothing."  You long for the fruit of the Spirit.  But how do you bear this fruit?  Try harder?  No, hang tighter.  Our assignment is not fruitfulness but faithfulness.  The secret to fruit bearing and anxiety-free living is less about doing and more about abiding."

What exactly is abiding?  I think this means that we need to feel at home with Christ.  We do this by getting to know Him.  By thinking of Him.  By learning His ways and coming to the point where He is our first thought in times of trouble and times of joy.  He is our peace in every storm.  We trust Him with everything about us and know that He loves us just how we are and at the same time wants to help us be better.  I believe the more we come to know Him, the easier it will be for us to recognize what He would do, so we can do it too.  He does want us to produce good fruit, but He is the one that will give us the ability to not only do good works, but to do them with joy, and with a wisdom greater than ours.

Dan's Extended Birthday

I already wrote about Dan's birthday party.  He also already had a birthday dinner with our family (He picked scones for dinner and homemade peach sorbet for dessert).  That's when he got a present from Tia and Mike.

Take 2 on the trick candles.

I really think sympathetic candle blowing is a thing.  Look at Kayli and Tia. 
They both obviously want to help!

Dan has also had a date with "the best Grandma Christensen in the whole world".  He loves going to get a slurpy, a present, and then (this time) a 10 pack of chicken nuggets at Wendy's!

Tomorrow is his actual birthday.  He is picking dinner yet again.  Enchiladas this time (Dan style -- which just means they don't have any cheese or other dairy).  At least his birthday is on an A day at school.  He much prefers A day to B day!

Dan is a loving, kind, smart, twirly boy (he doesn't really stand still much).  We love him a lot.  He is very creative and loves using the program Scratch to create computer animations.  I think he remembers his dreams every night, and finds them fascinating.  If you want to talk to someone about video games and their history he is your guy!

Happy Birthday to our Dan!

From If Only to Already

I'm thankful for all of the people who dwell with me in the "fertile valley of Already".
This is Dan with his present from Mike and Tia (Tia is quick to point out that it was Mike who knew what Dan would like!)

In Max Lucado's book "Anxious For Nothing" he talks about moving from the banks of the "if only" river to the "fertile valley of Already."  He is simply pointing out that we can get stuck in the trap of thinking, if only (fill in the blank) then I will be happy, but it would be better to spend our time thinking of what we already have to be grateful for.  We all have different things, and so it is important to not get distracted by thinking of what someone else already has.  Just the great things we already have. 

So today I am thankful for the sunshine, my hat to cover my fun hair, a good book to read, Christmas music (which I am listening to because I wanted a lift and I love Christmas music), my recliner, the Rocket (my van), a call from Derek, Kayli's fuzzy dog who is cute, and a less hectic day to enjoy.

I hope you are finding joy today in the "fertile valley of Already"!

Jake, Dan and Connor rocking the sunglasses in Connor's car.

Mike getting ready to drive the Rocket so I can ride with Derek on the motorcycle.

That One Time .....

Picture by Connor
Unrelated to my post except it's me.
My "new" shirt from Amanda
and my new shoes because
my other ones hurt my feet.
And I like new shoes :-)

I remember this one time.  My visiting teachers, who were two nice ladies assigned to come visit me and give me a lesson once a month, made an appointment, and they showed up!  Good so far.  But then they proceeded to visit with each other.  I was totally unnecessary.  In fact, I kept thinking that maybe they wouldn't notice if I hurried and went to get a few things done while they chatted. 

This was a long time ago, and I do not remember who the ladies were.  I believe they had good intentions, but they knew each other better than they knew me, and perhaps it was just more comfortable to talk to each other.  Maybe I'm scary?  Anyhow, the point isn't that they were bad.  They weren't.  They just weren't paying attention to everyone in our little group.  I mention this because I have to wonder how often that has been me.  How often have I been the person chatting with the friend next to me, and not noticing the person on my other side who is lonely, and doesn't have someone to talk to?

I have been the new kid in many classes, and even the new member of several wards.  I am always thankful for the person who looks up, sees a stranger, and smiles.  I appreciate it when they invite me to sit by them, and then are friendly -- making conversation that I can participate in, or asking if I have questions.  It takes courage to walk into a room of strangers who all know each other!  It is hard when people sit around you talking about people and places you don't know.  I really want to be a person who pays attention, and doesn't given anyone stories they can tell of "That one time" when they were made to feel like an unnecessary outsider who isn't particularly needed or welcome. 

A Birthday Party For Dan

Dan blowing out his candles

Dan's favorite.  Trick candles!  His friends liked them too.

Generous gifts from friends, though the greatest gift was that they came and had fun.

Dan is becoming a teenager this week.  That is a little hard for me to wrap my brain around!  He really wanted a party this year, and we decided not to have it on Labor Day weekend and so we had it this past Saturday.  We only invited three people, and the plan was to go to Lowe's X-Treme sports and then to have pizza at home.  Friday night found Dan worrying that nobody would come, and Saturday, when all three people showed up, it made him very happy.  I am so thankful that those three friends came!

My plan was to take care of the party myself.  Derek works hard all week and somehow I have it in my head that I am "supposed" to do the birthday parties.  Unfortunately, though I won't try to explain here and I don't really understand it myself, Saturday wasn't a stellar day for me.  Derek took the kids to Lowe's and I went shopping to get things for last night's birthday dinner, and I ordered and picked up the pizza.

The party was a success.  Dan was so happy that his friends came, and they seemed to enjoy their time together.  As a Mom, I am always very grateful when people are kind to my children!  Dan wasn't as pleased with the afternoon since it didn't include friends, and did include cleaning his room, but at least the party was a success!

The Importance of Invitations

***

I have been studying a lot about unity lately.  I have had a lot of good discussions, and had people write to me their thoughts on the topic, which were helpful and enlightening.  One thing, which I knew was important, but maybe didn't recognized how important, was invitations.  Inviting people to do things with us, and having people invite us to do things with them. 

Even if we invite people to do something, and they can't do it, it lets them know that we were thinking about them and want them to be with us.  When I was a young mom, a friend inviting me to go places with her made a huge impact on my life for good.  During the stress of last year a friend invited me to ride with her to the lake and walk around.  She shared things that were helpful to me and it was a calm, peaceful retreat in a stormy time.  Lately, I have a couple of friends who invite me to go to the temple with them.  Even when I can't go I am always thankful to be thought of.

One of my sisters-in-law who wrote to me suggested that we never do a good thing alone (if possible).  We can at least invite someone to come, even if it doesn't work out.  Of course, we can turn anything into something to feel guilty about, and for some it can be scary to invite people to do things.  Somehow we need to learn to ditch the guilt, and be brave about making invitations.  I have seen and felt the good impact invitations have had on myself and others.  We do not have to plan a big event, or do anything grand.  We don't have to invite someone to come over for hours, or even at all.  We can invite people (or a person) to do things that we want to do and feel comfortable doing, and the impact for good that we will have will be more than we imagine.

***Photo by Duy Pham on Unsplash

Inasmuch As Ye Have Done It....

During my youth I was able to attend the pageant in Nauvoo a few times.  During one scene about the organization of the Relief Society they would sing a song that used the words from Matthew 25:40

"...Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

As they sang they would show women feeding the sick and playing with children, among other things.  The motto of the Relief Society is "Charity Never Faileth" and I think it is because of those depictions during the pageant, and the example of my own mother, that I always looked forward to being a part of something so great.  A great army of women who try to remember that every act we do, and every word we say, should be done and said as if the person we are helping, or talking to, is the Savior himself.  

Naturally, the reality is that the Relief Society is made up of human women, and so we sometimes fail.  But the more we practice, the more we can succeed, and an army of charitable women is surely needed everywhere to relieve all kinds of suffering and to provide love, kindness, and help.

**Relief Society Seal used by permission from churchofjesuschrist.org

Being Priceless

This is Dan in the place where I
pulled my hamstring in April.  It was
beautiful and I don't regret going.
I hope I can still say that when the
Physical Therapists are doing
painful things to make me better!
(The Dr. described what would
be done.  I am feeling kind of
chicken to go!)

Today I was whining to Derek and later to Connor about being expensive.  I went to the doctor today (Thursday) for a hamstring that I apparently tore back in April and that hasn't really healed properly -- maybe because I didn't go to the doctor in the first place to find out what to do.  Anyhow, the result is that I have to go to physical therapy twice a week for 6 weeks.  Ching! Ching!  Then we'll assume it will be fine because if not there is a list of even more expensive things I can do (which thankfully do NOT include surgery).

When I had cancer and bills would come I would cry.  Who wants to spend money on doctor bills?  Especially when my, of course large, contribution to the family brings in zippo dollars?  Derek was (and is) great and just says, "We just pay our bills" (and he could add that we don't need to overthink it!).  So today when I was waiting to see the doctor and the thought of how expensive I was came up I  pushed it back down, but it kept popping up.  Later Connor called for something unrelated and I told him I felt expensive.  He answered, "That's because you are Priceless!"  I much prefer being priceless to expensive so we'll go with that one :-).

Bumping Into Each Other With Our Light

Light of The World by
Brent Borup
Used by permission from
churchofjesuschrist.org

A friend of mine shared a quote by Virginia Pierce that she found in Silent Souls Weeping.  There are, for a variety of reasons, including depression, people who can't feel God's love in their life.  Sister Pierce said that we need to "just keep bumping into them with our light.  Don't take your light away from them; don't distance yourself from them.  It doesn't mean you have to preach to them or get them to come to church or find a way to fix them. Trust that just your presence in their lives makes a difference because you are full of light and love -- and that's what we all long for."

Sometimes we don't know what to do to help people, but we can love them.  I like the idea that we can "bump into people with our light" and we can leave a little spark behind.  And maybe, if enough people do the same thing, the light of those who are struggling with so much darkness will be kindled, at least enough to get them through another day.