When I'm Afraid

It was time for my yearly mammogram in December, but I waited until January.  December is busy.  So on the last Friday in January I went in, and on the second Friday in February I was back for my second mammogram.  I was told I had microcalcifications, which are normal, unless they aren't.  80% of the time they're normal.  Not to worry!  But I did.  I was going to have to have a biopsy.

The day after my second mammogram I woke up and started typing words into my phone as they came to me.  Words of faith, and courage.  Words, that I added to a bit, and rearranged, and eventually turned into a song.  Words that, when I sing them, help me to have the courage and faith that I want to have.

As I chronicle some of my experiences I hope you will know that I do have faith, and courage, but sometimes I also give in to sorrow, and fear.  Sometimes I just can't wrap my head around what is happening to me and I really want to be in denial -- and on vacation.  What I really thought wouldn't be too big of a deal keeps changing.  Just one more thing.  Then another.  And another.  But I am never alone.  My family and friends surround me.  My Savior does comfort me when I'm afraid, if I let Him.  I have to let go of my fear, and press on knowing that He really is there watching over me, and He can help me be okay no matter what.  When I make myself quit crying, and feeling sorry for myself, and I give my fear to Him, He gives me calm in return.

So here are the words I wrote, and a recording that I made so I wouldn't forget the tune.  I was going to try to do a better recording, but I might never get around to it, click  HOORAY! and enjoy the face I make at the camera, as well as the song.

When I'm Afraid

My Savior comforts me when I’m afraid.

And though it seems sometimes that He is very far away

I trust that He is close, holding me up day by day.

And when the storm beats down, He’s not asleep.

He holds His hand outstretched to me when the path is steep.

And keeps His watch as giant waves come crashing from the deep.

And when I feel so sad and all alone

I think of His great love and all He did so I could come home.

I know that He's with me no matter how far I may roam.

I feel His peace around me when I’m still

And ask for strength and courage to trust Him and do His will.

He helps me to hold on through any sorrow that I feel.

And when I fail again He won’t condemn

He’ll pick me up and help me so that I can start again.

My Savior knows my sorrow and the guilt or pain I’m in.

So when I do not know which way to go

I take a step toward Him and His light makes my path to glow

I know there’s hope because there is no path that He won’t know.

My Savior comforts me when I’m afraid

And I give thanks to Him while on this world that He has made

And trust in Him to guide me through the path that He has laid.

I thank Him for the beauty all around,

The wonder and the happiness in every joyful sound.

I thank Him for the good and lovely things that here abound.

But most of all I thank Him for His love,

For wanting me despite my faults to live with Him above.

In His kingdom filled with joy, and happiness and love.