Battle Fatigue From An Inner Civil War

So today was a lovely day -- until I was planning out the family schedule for the week -- and I let myself be afraid that I was going to mess it up, or do it wrong.  I often imagine the worst thing possible.  Somehow I'm going to make a plan and everyone will hate it and it will be my fault and they will probably all decide to rebel, and they might frown -- at me! 

It isn't reasonable to believe that my kind, smart family is going to suddenly decide the gospel isn't true just because I gave them one too many chores, or I didn't plan our Come Follow Me lessons just right!  I kept reminding myself that I am not powerful enough to wreck God's plans, and if the schedule I made doesn't work, it can be changed!

Later, I read a talk that Sister Holland gave at a devotional at BYU in 1988.  She said that if we are always busy battling ourselves in what she calls an "internal civil war", we will "have little power and energy left" when outside challenges come.  Outside challenges always do come, and they will be much harder to deal with if we have convinced ourselves we are worthless, or incapable, or bad, or dumb or any number of negative things. 

I wonder how many times I will need to learn this same lesson?  I need to follow Sister Hollands council to "Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend in need."  I hope, in the future, to avoid the battle fatigue caused by the civil war that is often raging in my head, and enjoy the peace that comes from trusting God, and accepting the gift of His atonement, and His love.