Mike Had a Birthday Shout Hooray!!!!

 Mike (my son-in-law) had a birthday the day after my Mom!  We didn't really get to celebrate until almost a week later -- but it's never too late to celebrate!  

I pulled out my cake decorating skills and made Mike a cake.  I tried an experiment of mixing vanilla and chocolate frosting for a swirl effect.  Mike wanted a piece with a rose.

Mike opening his presents while sitting next to Tia.

I like how he makes getting Mountain Dew look like the best gift ever.  I just wanted something to wrap his gift card with!

This exciting present was a remote control flying thing with motion sensors so it can be controlled with your hand.  It worked pretty well and Teddy wasn't allowed to catch it.

Mike with his cake and Connor looking on from the exercise bike.

Mike blowing out his candles.  He did not want trick ones.  And I really think sympathetic candle blowing is a thing.  I think I always capture other people who look like they are blowing too!

We are happy that Mike is in our family.  We love him.

Can You Win An Argument With Yourself?

Maybe I should be asking if you ever argue with yourself?  I do.  A LOT!  It is exhausting!  The funny thing is, I am often arguing with myself against my own harsh thoughts -- but I always seem to lose!  How can that be?  Well, I am learning that arguing just isn't the way to go.  I should know that because I hate arguing out loud.  How could it possibly be helpful just because nobody else is hearing the argument?

Here's an example argument.  Something that could easily happen while I'm hiking.  "Wow.  I am slow and exhausted.  I am pathetic.  I really should have exercised more."  Then my own answer to myself, "Stop thinking like that!  You should think of something else.  Be grateful!  Look.  A tree!  You like trees!  And you can walk!  Some people can't!"

Have I successfully argued anything?  Only maybe that I "should" be better at pretty much everything.  That "should" word should stay out of arguments!  

So what am I learning to try instead?  Listening to my thoughts like I am my own friend, and treating myself accordingly.  If a friend said to me, "Wow.  I am slow and exhausted.  I am pathetic.  I really should have exercised more." and I knew their situation as well as I know my own, I might say, "I'm so sorry you are feeling pathetic, I don't think that is true!  Everything seems so hard when you're tired!  Lets take a break until we feel more ready to go on."  I could even go so far as to point out the legitimate reasons energy may be low, or the exercise I do manage to do to help with energy.

It turns out that, if I am as compassionate with myself as with a friend, there is nothing to argue about.  There is just kindness and understanding, which helps get rid of the harsh feelings that crop up and try to take over my life.  

On an unrelated note.  Guess who is getting married Friday!!! Yay for Connor and Amanda!

Foreboding Joy

Tia, Dan (in the back), Kayli, and Trisa with Chewy in the back too.

This has nothing to do with this post, I just liked this picture taken on the way to a hike in Payson Canyon.

 Have you ever felt joy, and almost immediately squashed it with, "What ifs?"  I think most of us have tried this as a technique for not getting hurt.  We somehow believe if we don't have the joy of hope, we won't hurt as badly when we don't get what we really can't help hoping for.  Instead we think of all of the things that might, and, in our minds, probably will go wrong, which I know from experience does NOT make the hurting any less if bad things happen. 

I have had some experience with this before, once rather recently.  We are working on building a house.  I had the feeling that if we worked for it, and did what we could to move forward, that things would work out.  I found a lot of joy in the moving forward until the "what ifs" started to rear their ugly heads.  What if we can't afford the house we want to build?  What then?  What if I end up feeling stupid, frustrated and afraid?" And then I read about foreboding joy in Daring Greatly by Brene' Brown and realized I was squashing my joy to protect myself -- to try to avoid being too disappointed if something does happen that we didn't want to happen. So what is the solution?

Gratitude.  I need to remember that I am not superstitious.  I do not believe that feeling joy is going to cause something bad to happen.  I believe in God.  Joy is a gift, and therefore the proper response is not "what ifs" -- it is "Thank You".  Thanks to God who is giving me whatever opportunity that brings joy.  Trust that if my joy turns into -- "uh oh, what now?" He has my back.  He will help guide me to the next joyful thing and it will be okay.  

Being Real and Beautiful

Derek and I in the Uintas at Provo Falls

There is a quote in The Velveteen Rabbit that I really like.  The end of it says that "...once you are Real, you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."  I think this is true.  There are always going to be people to judge us on what we look like, or what we have or haven't accomplished, but there are also going to be those who love us and think that who we are is beautiful.  

I know that I have often been a harsh judge of myself, but if people know how harsh I am with myself, are they going to believe me when I am not harsh with them?  If I can't see my own beauty, what is to make someone believe I can see theirs?  It was a bit of an "Aha!" moment yesterday when I was thinking of this.  I have justified being harsh with myself, because I am NOT harsh with others.  I seem to see other people's beauty (of character and looks) a lot easier than I see my own.  

The thing is this.  God created me, and He created you, and He loves us.  We are all "fearfully and wonderfully made"(Psalms 139:14).  We have every reason to praise Him because when we are Real (loved), we are beautiful.

The House We Moved Out Of

 

Derek and I and our then much younger family built and moved into this house at the end of February 1998 and moved out at the end of July 2020.  I took lovely pictures of all of the rooms so that we could use them to sell the house, and I thought I'd put them on my blog so we would have a record of what our house looked like (minus the usual clutter) right before we moved out.

This is the "Piano Room" -- mostly used for playing the piano or reading / doing computer things in the chairs.

The Master Bedroom

Jake's room.  The place he liked to be better than almost anywhere.

Kayli's room -- sometimes referred to as her "Cave".

The Library which used to be a kitchenette, and will be again before too long.

The downstairs family room.  Many hours of fun have been had doing tricks on the giant balls, playing the Wii, and making forts have been spent in this room!

Upstairs "Main" Bathroom -- the one everyone was hopeful we had cleaned when they needed to use it :-)

Dan's room, which had at one time been Trisa's and Connor's.

The upstairs family room.  Many pictures were taken in front of the fireplace, including the annual Christmas Eve Pajama picture.

Family / Dining / Kitchen.  It was almost never this tidy, but it witnessed a lot of life.

Ah, I like how this kitchen looks when it's clean!  It is much different than the one we originally chose with it's white floors, tan countertops, white appliances, and oak cabinets!

The "Guest" room which in this picture was Connor's room.

The Laundry Room.  Just imagine how many loads of laundry have been done in this room in over 22 years!  For the last few years we've averaged probably 8 loads or more a week.

The office.  This is where Derek worked during Covid 19 until we moved.  Now he works in the unfinished basement of the rental.  This room was a bedroom for years.

The storage room where food, decorations, paint, and miscellaneous other things have been kept over the years.

This is the green backyard.  There was a firepit near my feet when I took the picture.

And last -- the pantry.  We couldn't keep the door shut to save our lives, and it became a joke that when Derek came home from work and came in through the garage, he was greeted by an open pantry door.  The kids used to run and open it if they heard him coming if the door was miraculously closed in the first place!

We have loved this house, and the people we have met while living there!  All of our boys were born while we lived in this house!  Now it is time to take the happy memories, hopefully keep all of the friends we have made, and move on with the next adventure!