Yes, And -- People Are Afraid

YES the world can be scary, AND there is beauty in it.

Today I have been thinking about how fear is ruling a lot of conversations and turning what should be discussions into shouting matches, or name calling, or worse.  I doubt people are even aware that fear is what is behind what they are saying.  I'm sure most of us humans feel like we are standing up for what is true, or right, or even safe.  The problem with that kind of standing up for "truth, right, and safety" is that it creates an even larger divide, and therefore a bigger problem.  To have a true discussion we need to go into a conversation thinking that there is a possibility we might learn something.  We also need to realize that there is power in "Yes, and..."

Do people say mean and hurtful things?  Yes, and nobody on this planet is all bad.  Do our leaders sometimes do things we don't agree with and that are bad?  Yes, and they also do things that are good sometimes!  Does our country seem to be headed towards an even bigger divide instead of unity?  Yes, and if we can see the fear behind the yelling, and really take the time to listen, there is hope.  When we understand each other we will be able to let go of fear and find ways to compromise that allow each person safety and hope for a brighter future.

If someone yells at us, or calls us names, we can get really curious about why.  I suspect that under all of their unkindness and bluster is fear.  We can say "YES, I disagree with you, AND I don't appreciate being called names, AND I want to understand why you feel so strongly about your opinion.   And then we can listen.  Really listen to understand and not to change their opinion.  If nothing else, hopefully they will feel like their opinion matters, and more importantly, they matter.