Learning to Recognize God's Love

My beautiful daisies and blanket flowers, gifts from Tina in Rexburg!
Also my beautiful Salvia from one of my neighbor friends!

In my last post I mentioned the book Choosing Real by Bekah Pogue.  The book gave me more than one gift, and the one today was about recognizing, and seeing God through all of our senses.  This resonated with me because I see His love so easily in the beauty of nature, and in His amazing creativity shown through the amazing variety of people, plants, animals, bugs, etc.  I even see his love in the silly turkeys that show up in the Winter when I am dealing with the winter blues, and make me smile.

I have found His love in answers to prayer that come in the form of sounds.  In the familiar tune of a hymn, or a song, or the gobbling of turkeys (when I was worried about them and hadn't seen them in so long that I asked if they were okay and heard them that very day!).  I remembered today that, for me, even the sound of a clock can be a reminder of both sets of grandparents (who were gifted the same clock by my parents) and how I would go to sleep at their houses listening to the ticking of the clock.

Derek and I tend to be anti-perfume, and avoid some smells, but I love the smell of pine trees and cinnamon.  They remind me of Christmas, one of the best reminders of Heavenly Father's love for all of us since He sent us Jesus.  I love the smell of baking bread because it takes me back to my Mom's kitchen and because fresh baked bread and honey has been a favorite snack for a very long time.  What a blessing to know that smell, and to have a Mom who made bread!  I love the smell of rose soap made by Avon, and Dove soap because it takes me back to Grandma Fuller's house.

Taste is another great reminder of the creativity of God and His kindness in making so many flavors.  I sure don't like them all, but Grandma's applesauce cake was sure a favorite!  I love soft vanilla ice cream, fresh baked cookies of many kinds, but soft ginger ones with cream cheese frosting?  Mmmmm!

And then there is the gift of feeling.  I love hugs, and a soft touch on the shoulder to say hello or goodbye.  I love the wind on my face, and the feel of waves lapping at my feet.  I realized today that I can even be grateful for the feel of a numb, tingly shoulder that is annoying because this body God created is letting me know something is wrong that needs to be fixed.  

Reading Bekah's chapter about this had me paying more attention to the now.  It had me smiling as I walked through Walmart, and being grateful for all of the people, whether they smiled back or not.  Of course, I was extra thankful for the lady who told me I was beautiful!  Hopefully she thought that because I was smiling, and she could feel God's love for her in my smile!  That would be awesome!

Looking At Lonely

Here is a moment where I could look up with awe at the gift and beauty of creation!

The other day I was stuck in a problem that I wanted fixed and I was about to try to find the "perfect" book on the issue to help solve it.  Then I remembered that I was not going to do frantic searching and study to solve problems anymore.  I can still search, and study, but I am NOT going to panic and be frantic, and looking for a book to buy felt like panic.  I am going to trust that God is aware of my problems and that it is not my job to solve them all alone.  So, instead of looking for just the right book on the topic I was worrying about, I just looked through my Kindle and found a book that I had gotten for free that sounded interesting.  I picked "Choosing REAL" by Bekah Jane Pogue.  I honestly don't remember what the exact problem of the moment was, but her writing has given me a few gifts.  One was about being lonely.

Feeling lonely is a problem I struggle with every now and again.  I have wonderful family and friends but sometimes, when I am feeling down, it is very hard to reach out to anyone.  It is easy to get stuck focusing inward on what isn't; to feel sorry for myself, and like I am forgotten.  In Choosing Real Bekah tells the story of meeting a friend at a favorite restaurant in a corner booth.  They talked and talked and Bekah found herself crying and expressing how lonely she is and how she wished there were more people in her life.  She wanted more friends to come over, more people who called.  She felt like she was prepared for a whole party of people and nobody showed up.  

Her friend listened and then said, "I'm curious if perhaps Jesus wants to first sit with you at a cozy corner booth like this one, and over time will provide the right people in the right seats.  Maybe your dinner party isn't a long banquet table for many but an intimate corner booth for the two of you first."  Bekah suggests that a whole party full of people won't fill us the way being with Jesus can.

I keep thinking about this.  It is like the quiet time that I am trying to take in the morning.  It is time sitting in gratitude for what is around me.  It is time breathing, and being thankful that I can.  It is remembering that I am loved even if I can't feel it in the moment.  It is even sitting and seeing someone else that Jesus loves who maybe I can reach out to that day.  It may be an idea that comes to mind of something I can do to help me!  

Sometimes, if the night was rough, and the morning didn't go smoothly, and maybe I couldn't take the time to sit, I run across those lonely feelings later in the day.  This story reminds me that I don't have to choose one time to sit with Jesus.  I can be met where I am.  I can run to Him, trust Him, and let go of panic, and the need to solve everything myself.  He may even give me the strength to reach out when I really do need somebody.

I hope you will find your metaphorical corner booth, and will get a dose of love, peace, and hope.

Mesa Verde

 Mesa Verde is a lot of driving and a lot of getting in and out of the car to see awesome things.  We did some short hikes and then at the last minute decided to do the hike to the petroglyphs.  That was my favorite thing all day!  It was a bit over 2 miles, and it had some awesome rock stairs that I loved.

The selfie to prove we were there together :-)

I have wanted to go here since I first saw pictures of it and I finally got my wish!
It is so cool!

There are cliff dwellings hiding in quick a few places.

I took a picture of this and Derek said I was taking pictures of the wrong thing!

I believe that tall skinniest one is the tallest dwelling in the park.
They did work on it a while back to keep it from falling.

This is a vent hole for an underground dwelling.

A peek into the sun temple

Some of the cool stairs I mentioned.

Derek because he kept taking pictures of me -- which perhaps
I forgot to upload to the computer.  Oops.

The foundation for a cave dwelling that was by the path to the petroglyphs.

We have a LOT of rocks at our house, but none of them look as cool
as these rock stairs!

I went and found the pictures Derek took.  I think they are
brighter than mine!

Me on the stairs I was so thrilled about.

And finally me in this awesome location with the crooked tree and rock
stairs on the left.

A Month Past Our Anniversary #36

 We celebrated our anniversary towards the end of May this year.  We went on a trip to Telluride, CO and then to Mesa Verde.  It was a great trip!  Beautiful weather and beautiful scenery!  It was nice to have time away to walk, and hike, and ride the tram, and just enjoy all of the beauty and history.  I'll just put up some of the pictures of Telluride today.  I'll do Mesa Verde tomorrow.

The tram was free to ride and it was awesome!

Connor!

 Connor's birthday was on Sunday but we had a celebration on Saturday.  It was really fun to have Amanda's family and a few extra family / friends to help celebrate.  There was pickleball playing, frisbee golf practicing, food to eat from the barbecue, and delicious chocolate trifle.  The best thing of all is having a Connor to celebrate.  

I forgot I had presents for Connor until the very last minute!

Connor with his giant candle as we sing happy birthday.

Derek told the story of how Connor got his name.  Derek read a Leon Uris book before we had any kids and he really liked the character named Connor.  We ended up having three girls first and so Derek saved the name for quite a while before we could give it to a son!

Connor was known as "The Bigg" when he was "little" and then Pally or O'Malley.  Derek is good at giving out Nicknames.  

Here's a picture of "The Bigg" being held by Tia!

Connor is a good person and we are very, very thankful that he is a part of our family!

I love....

Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash

I love breathing the crisp morning air.

I love the smell of roses.

I love walking through gardens.

I love singing along with show tunes.

I love the smell of cinnamon, and pine.

I love the taste and smell of warm homemade bread with butter and honey.

I love a well told story with a happy ending.

I love ah ha moments.

I love walking off of the path -- through the woods.

I love walking in a warm rain.

I love looking up at the night sky on a clear night when there are no lights around.

I love dancing.

I love looking at old family photos.

I love looking at beautiful art.

I love reading in the lamplight.

I love sitting by a fire.

I love watching birds.

I love hugs.

I love the sound of cellos.

I love a lot of different instruments well played.

I love uplifting conversations.

I love the laughter of children.

I love soft carpet or rugs.

I love warm, soft blankets.

I love libraries with rows and rows of books.

I love sunshine, rain, and snow in their seasons.

I love cold lemonade.

I love a well finished project.

I love forests, and corn fields, and oceans.

I love waterfalls, and streams, and rivers.

I love words -- especially kind ones.

I love the American flag and what it represents.

I love old buildings, old furniture, old lots of things.

I love the beautiful world I live on and the wonders in the sky.

I love "my" people and am doing my best to love all people.

I really can't name everything I love, but I thought it would be fun to make another list just for the fun of thinking of the many good things there are to do and see and eat and smell and love.

When One Loves....

I couldn't think of a picture that fit my post and so here is a blast from the past.
Goblin Valley, 2019.  Me and my boys.

Today at D.I. I saw the book The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  Yes, I passed it up.  I couldn't think of a justifiable reason to buy another copy!  So, when I opened this to write a blog and went a little blank, I decided to open the book to a random page and see what I found.  I ended up reading the section of the July chapter that is about spending out.  This meant to her that instead of saving things or ideas for later, she would use them and enjoy them now, trusting that there would be more things or ideas later.

Gretchen doesn't stop there.  She feels the most important things about "spending out" is to do things without keeping score.  She is not talking about when you play sports or a game.  She is talking about not doing things for people with the idea that you will get something back.  She quotes Saint Therese of Lisieux who wrote "When one loves, one does not calculate."  It is so easy for me to fall into the trap of doing things with the hope that someone will respond!  It is better if I can do things for the love of doing them, or for the love of the people I choose to do them for.  That is the way to  go!

Celebrate!

There are a lot of hard things in life, but there are a lot of good ones too.  I think it is important for us to pay extra attention to the good things and to celebrate the good in our lives any chance we can.  This past week we celebrated birthdays, an anniversary, and Mother's Day.  Maybe we should have at least little mini celebrations every week!

We could celebrate beauty, laughter, warmth, sunshine, rain, friends, family or family members.  We could celebrate flowers and trees and ice cream.  We could celebrate the good we see in people or the good things we saw someone do.  We can celebrate love, because any time someone gives us love, or gives love to others, it is worth taking at least a moment to acknowledge, smile, and give thanks -- or maybe even do a happy dance!

Heaven With You

It turns out that I don't have a picture of heaven!
This is pretty though.
Photo by Ash Ashley on Unsplash

In Jesus' time the Scribes, Pharisees and Sadducees spent a lot of time thinking about how to be more obedient.  They were intent on following every rule in the Law of Moses, and even making some more.  They were going to obey their way to heaven, while looking down at those who weren't quite as good at checking all of the boxes.  Sadly, they missed the part where the law was meant to point them to the Savior who would come and to remind them to focus on loving the way that He does.  When Christ came, they didn't recognize Him, or if they did, they were too pleased with their power and stature to let it go to follow this humble carpenter who could do amazing miracles.

It is easy to look down on them for their choices, but I have noticed myself being a bit like them before.  I go to church every Sunday, checked all of the covenant boxes, and do my best to keep the commandments and -- well look at those poor souls who are messing up!  They really should know better shouldn't they?  The truth is, if I am just checking boxes and forgetting to love God with my whole heart and my neighbor as myself (which doesn't include judging or telling them what to do), I am messing up big time.

I do not think that Heaven is a place where people sit and gloat over how much better they have been than everyone else!  Podcaster Richard Ostler said, "Heaven isn't about separating us from others and the feeling of satisfaction as we see those who didn't make it.  Heaven is about reaching out and bringing others with us." (quoted in The Law of Love by Steve Young).

The plan really is for us to learn to love so well that others want to come with us because being in our Savior's presence with the people we love is the happiest place to be.

The Law of Love

For me the easiest part of the law of love might be loving babies!
Especially "my" babies!
Emily looks like Spring!

This past Thursday I was able to go to Women's Conference at BYU with my friend Shannon.  The first talk we heard was by Steve Young and Laurel Day.  The title of their "talk", which was more of a discussion was "Human Dignity:  To See Another's Soul."  By the end of the talk I was a huge fan of both presenters because they were so passionate about trying to see every person the way that God sees them and treat them accordingly.  They called it "transfigured eyesight".  It means leaving self, and self interest behind and really seeing someone.

The question to ponder is "How can I find this for everyone".  In the Book of Mormon In Moroni 7:48 it asks us to "...pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that yet may be filled with this love...".  This love is charity, or the pure love of Christ, which is the love God has for ALL of His children.  It is a love where we keep in mind that we are all in the family of God, and not just family, but beloved family who we really want to see healed and happy.

There were two thoughts I will mention.  One made me chuckle, but is something that is done too often -- by me and by others.  That is starting a relationship with, "I know what you need".  I think even in relationships we've had for a long time it is not our job to tell anyone what they need, but instead to listen, and try to understand, and to look for all of the potential this person has (because it is there).

The other was a thought about a lost sheep.  They had a quote from a shepherd who said that "sheep don't get lost, they run when they don't feel safe."  Now before you discount this because Jesus is a shepherd and He seeks the lost sheep, I believe the shepherds referred to here are us mortal shepherds.  The thought to contemplate is this, "If you are going to seek the lost sheep, first admit that you might be the reason they aren't there."  Do our "sheep" feel loved or judged?

I loved this talk and want to do better at remembering to pray for charity so that I can see others as God does.

No Unkind Feelings

I was just reading my notes from General Conference.  Elder Soares talked a bit about "being bound to Jesus".  It's kind of a fun thought to imagine us tied to Jesus so that He is beside us wherever we go.  It reminds me of the Primary song If The Savior Stood Beside Me.  In the song we are asked how we would act, think, and speak differently if Jesus were right beside us.  It for sure would help us remember to be on our best behavior!  At least I think it would.

Making covenants is like binding ourselves to Jesus, and as long as we remember those covenants and all that Jesus has done for us, we are changed completely.  That change helps us to not have any unkind feelings towards anyone.  I think it might be good to mention that, as imperfect people, when we do have unkind feelings towards someone, refocusing on Christ and all He has done can help us forgive and move past that.

I was also reading about King Benjamin's people in the Book of Mormon and how they had "a mighty change of heart" and had "no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually."  If I focus on Jesus, then I too, with His help, can do good continually.  That is what I hope to be like!

Be Curious

This really has nothing to do with my post, but the turkeys came back!
I guess I could be curious about why the turkeys make me smile
but just look at this turkey.  He's pretty awesome!

There are times when I start to feel sad, or upset, or frustrated, or even angry and I am not sure why.  Instead of focusing on the feeling and starting to cry, or hide, or lash out, it is better if I can remember to be curious.  What am I feeling?  What do I need?  What was I expecting?  Is there something I need help with?  Do I just need to talk something out?

There are times when I have actually been successful at this, and other times when I forget and just react and then cry about not acting how I wanted to.  In my class my friend said that she likes to remember when she is starting to have overwhelming feelings, "Everything is an opportunity to practice".  I was also reminded when I was watching Hometown yesterday that problems can just be considered "solution opportunities".  

It can sure be hard to break our usual patterns of reactions, but it is not impossible.  It just takes a bit of work, and practice, and compassion for ourselves when we don't manage to do as well as we hoped.  I am hoping that I can look at any issues that may come up today as chances to practice -- or solution opportunities!

The State of My Heart

Even prickly things can be beautiful.

In this world of media, and never ending pictures to compare ourselves too, I often find it is easy to get fixated on the wrong things.  I do this in regards to myself and also to others.  It is unfortunate.  We were not all meant to be the same size, to like to wear the same things, to enjoy doing the exact same activities, or even to like the same food.  Some people came into the world loving music, while others don't seem to be affected by it.  Some people are super athletic, while others would rather do just about anything except some kind of sport.  You get the point.  We are all unique.

The interesting thing is that when I am fixated on some part of me not being exactly like I want, I forget all about those around me and how they may be feeling about themselves!  I also forget to be thankful about the gift of life that I have.  If I am fixated on what others are doing that I think they "shouldn't" then I am not focusing on myself and the things I could do better, or on the good that is in them.  

No matter who I am being judgmental towards, whether myself or someone else, it keeps me from seeing the good in either.  This is not what Jesus wants at all!  We are perfectly loved, and He would like us to practice loving ourselves and all of our family, friends, and even strangers more perfectly.  He even included enemies in those we should love!

We are told in 1 Samuel 16:7 that the Lord doesn't see us like we do because we look at the outward appearance and He looks at the heart.  It is totally possible that whoever I decide to judge for some perceived flaw is actually more pure of heart than me and I am too busy judging to get to know who they really are, and to find out what it is that God loves about them.

We are all perfectly loved and therefore perfectly loveable.  The state of my heart will be more pure if I leave off judging, and look to be better at loving.