10 Things I've Learned By Having A Jake

Dan kept dramatically handing Jake his presents to
open.  Unfortunately, I missed his more humorous
poses.

I gave Jake one candle that was
normal and one that kept relighting.
Actually, it didn't work the first time
so I lit them twice
so he wouldn't miss the "fun".

Jake turned 17 this week.  He is, like Harry Potter, "The Boy Who Lived".  He wasn't attacked by an evil wizard though.  He had heart defects that needed to be corrected.  Our other boys lived too, and all of us have difficulties that we need to overcome, or learn to live with.  Here are ten things I have learned, or was reminded of, because I have a Jake.

1.  Don't let the hard things take away the joy of the good things.
2.  We are blessed with extra strength when we need it.
3.  Even when our children are babies we can know things about them.  I felt when Jake was in the hospital as a baby that he was a determined, compassionate soul -- and he is.
4.  If you have a child like Jake who doesn't sleep through the night until they are 5, it is nice to have a husband like Derek who gets up with him!
5.  It is really fun to have a small 9 month old who can walk.  When I would put Jake down on his feet people's jaws would drop.
6.  After all of the hard things I had watched Jake go through I stopped being able to watch him deal with hard things without feeling like it was too much -- for me!  I'd take him to get shots and he would be fine, but I would cry because he was hurt again.  I learned that, even if we cry, we can handle more pain, and hard things than we think we can.
7.  Even if your child is quiet, and takes a long time to think before they speak, it is bad to speak for them.  It is best to bite your tongue and smile at the teacher / doctor / relative who looks at you when the answer is slow at coming.  When I finally realized I needed to stop speaking for Jake, and started biting my tongue, his confidence went up.  I still have to apologize for answering for him occasionally.  Sigh.
8.  Siblings can make a big difference for good to each other.  Jake has always been such a good brother to Dan (even though he is getting to be more of a tease) and to his other siblings too.  Jake's sisters and brothers have helped him by being interested in him, talking to him, and including him in their activities.  In other words, they help each other by loving each other.  Families can be such a great thing!
9.  Letting a child deal with his / her own school work without interfering (much) will teach them a lot more than they will learn with a micromanaging parent.
10.  It is really good to have a Jake.  He is a good helper, has a good sense of humor, and loves me even though I am very far from being a perfect parent.