Summer Learning and My Summer Plan

I love to swing!  Swings remind me of summer.
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I used to make big plans every summer; some sort of plan on how to get the kids to read, and do a little math, and not play endless video / computer games.    Music practice was required, and I tried to make some room for adventures.  And then there were chores.  I didn't think they did very many, and they probably felt like they did them all! 

Somehow, it all sounded fun before Summer started, and then kind of went downhill from there.  Summers made me feel like I was responsible every day all day to make sure my kids were doing worthwhile things.  At least when they are in school I know that for a few hours they are following a schedule where they are supposed to be learning something!

I do not know what this summer will be like.  I only have two kids that don't count as grown ups.  It won't look the same as summers when all 6 kids were home!  We have some adventures planned already and I have ideas for more.  I have lovely plans to have the boys help with "spring" cleaning.  I'm sure they'll be thrilled.  For my sanity, I'm sure we'll need some structure, and rules about electronic distractions, but I do not want to micromanage the boys so much that they do not know how to manage themselves!

Photo by Alex on Unsplash

Summer learning is different from regular school learning.  It is learning practical skills.  It is trying new activities, seeing new places, and also, hopefully, learning that it's a good thing to go outside and enjoy the sunshine, or the rain.  It is a time to look up at the stars at night, and to be impressed with this earth we live on.  Summer is playing games, tending the garden, talking, laughing, and getting lost in a book.  My Summer plan is to spend time with my family and friends doing things that we enjoy, or that are useful, and to take life at a slow enough pace to really appreciate the time we have together. 

Failure

Here are a few things I've heard about failure that I find helpful:

Fear of failure keeps us stuck.
This has happened in a lot of situations for me.  When I don't know exactly the right way to help a child it sometimes stops me from trying anything.  If I try something,
at least I gain information on whether that thing works or not!

You never fail unless you quit trying.

Albert Einstein

This can sound a bit harsh in some circumstances.  I took violin lessons for a year.  It hurt to play because of neck and shoulder issues, and it was really hard!  I learned quite a bit, but in the end decided to stop playing the violin and stick with the instruments I have.  I do not feel like I failed just because I stopped playing the violin.  I learned quite a lot, including how impressed I should be by good violinists!  I did fail to become a great violinist myself, but I succeeded in trying something new and learning quite a bit!

Failure = Information

If we have "failed", it can show what we need to work on,

or practice more,

or what doesn't work. 

Failure is success in progress.

Photo by Ian Kim on Unsplash

10 Things I've Learned By Having A Jake

Dan kept dramatically handing Jake his presents to
open.  Unfortunately, I missed his more humorous
poses.

I gave Jake one candle that was
normal and one that kept relighting.
Actually, it didn't work the first time
so I lit them twice
so he wouldn't miss the "fun".

Jake turned 17 this week.  He is, like Harry Potter, "The Boy Who Lived".  He wasn't attacked by an evil wizard though.  He had heart defects that needed to be corrected.  Our other boys lived too, and all of us have difficulties that we need to overcome, or learn to live with.  Here are ten things I have learned, or was reminded of, because I have a Jake.

1.  Don't let the hard things take away the joy of the good things.
2.  We are blessed with extra strength when we need it.
3.  Even when our children are babies we can know things about them.  I felt when Jake was in the hospital as a baby that he was a determined, compassionate soul -- and he is.
4.  If you have a child like Jake who doesn't sleep through the night until they are 5, it is nice to have a husband like Derek who gets up with him!
5.  It is really fun to have a small 9 month old who can walk.  When I would put Jake down on his feet people's jaws would drop.
6.  After all of the hard things I had watched Jake go through I stopped being able to watch him deal with hard things without feeling like it was too much -- for me!  I'd take him to get shots and he would be fine, but I would cry because he was hurt again.  I learned that, even if we cry, we can handle more pain, and hard things than we think we can.
7.  Even if your child is quiet, and takes a long time to think before they speak, it is bad to speak for them.  It is best to bite your tongue and smile at the teacher / doctor / relative who looks at you when the answer is slow at coming.  When I finally realized I needed to stop speaking for Jake, and started biting my tongue, his confidence went up.  I still have to apologize for answering for him occasionally.  Sigh.
8.  Siblings can make a big difference for good to each other.  Jake has always been such a good brother to Dan (even though he is getting to be more of a tease) and to his other siblings too.  Jake's sisters and brothers have helped him by being interested in him, talking to him, and including him in their activities.  In other words, they help each other by loving each other.  Families can be such a great thing!
9.  Letting a child deal with his / her own school work without interfering (much) will teach them a lot more than they will learn with a micromanaging parent.
10.  It is really good to have a Jake.  He is a good helper, has a good sense of humor, and loves me even though I am very far from being a perfect parent.