Gold Stars

In The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, she talks about her need for "gold stars".  For recognition for the good things she does.  She asked herself, "Why did I have such a need for gold stars?  Was it vanity that needed to be stoked?  Was it insecurity that needed to be soothed?"  In the end she realized that she was doing nice things because she wanted to receive "gold stars" and not because it was what she really wanted to do, and she determined that she needed to change, and do things for herself, and not for the praise she might receive.  She also admitted that even when she tried to do this, she really wanted those gold stars, and was thankful when the good things she did were noticed.

I personally love those gold stars -- when people notice I am trying to do something good for them, or just do something good in general -- but I have also experienced the disappointment of doing something not because I really wanted to, but because I wanted the praise that I expected at the end, and then it didn't come!

Motivations are such an interesting thing to me.  Doing things for the wrong motivation can turn out okay when we do a good thing and the gold stars come. It can also turn into anger, or feelings of rejection when we don't receive the expected result.  It can become dangerous to us spiritually if, for the want of acceptance or praise from one person, we are willing compromise our principles, and to exclude, or be unkind to another.

Gold stars are not a bad thing.  I like to give out a lot of them, and I like to receive them, but it is better to not have the hope for praise or acceptance be our motivation for anything!