Gethsemane

 

This is a watercolor painting done by RND Illustrations of the Garden of Gethsemane.

This evening (Thursday) I was talking to one of my daughters about pain and suffering.  I kept saying the wrong thing, but I didn't want to give up until I had said something right.  Our conversation reminded me of me having a "little bit" of cancer and how I then proceeded to feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself.  I felt that I must in some way be bad for feeling any pain, discomfort, fear, frustration, etc. since "Everyone else" had it so much worse.  Shouldn't I just be grateful?

But the thing is -- I was grateful.  I was grateful that my cancer didn't take me down the awful chemotherapy trail that I have seen others go through.  I didn't have to lose my hair and learn to be okay with being bald for a while.  I didn't even have to have a mastectomy.  I could have chosen one, but I didn't.  I was and am grateful for all of those things I didn't have to deal with -- but I was dealing with something not nothing.  

I am thankful for all of those who told me it was okay to mourn.  It was okay to be sad.  It was even okay to feel sorry for myself (as long as I didn't constantly wallow in self pity).  I do not think any of us were meant to just soldier through everything as if we were robots.  We have too many emotions for that, and even in hard circumstances "comparison is the thief of joy".  We have to mourn and go through the sadness before we can get to the joy of the morning!

I believe that Christ suffered for each of us in Gethsemane.  I think we figuratively all go in and out of our own gardens of Gethsemane (though in no way can it come close to equating with what Christ did).  We can suffer for others and still be suffering ourselves.  We can still need our own angels to come and comfort us and mourn with us, even if someone else is suffering in the Garden beside us and their suffering is deemed "worse".  

In the end, because of Christ, our suffering will be over and our joy will be full.  As a friend of mine said, "Bring on the resurrection!"  May you all have your own angels to come beside you in your suffering, holding you, and assuring you that it will, eventually, be okay.