It's A Trap!

This is not a trap.  This is a daisy from my yard.
And a bug.

There is a trap that I have often fallen into that I am going to avoid from now on!  I have fallen into this trap SO many times, and it not only hurts me, but others as well.  It is the trap of making everything about me.  I believe that Satan really enjoys it when I do that.  If I get too busy looking inward, I miss seeing what is going on around me.  I miss seeing the needs of others and get too busy wallowing in self pity to help anyone!

If I make someone not answering their phone about me, and they don't answer several times, I could decide they really just don't like me, and I am a bother, when it is totally possible that they desperately need help, but can't bring themselves to ask anyone.  It could just be that they are out of town and taking a phone vacation.  Someone not answering their phone is rarely about me, and so it would be foolish to assume it is.

I have had people snap at me before, and it hurt my feelings until a while later when I realized that their snapping at me was really about their stress level, and they needed my compassion, not my hurt.  I have had little children who absolutely refused to get ready for school, and they received my anger until we were both crying and I took the time to listen.  They were nervous and afraid, and needed to be understood and helped, not pushed to hurry so I could drag them to school.

I am determined to quit falling into this trap, and to see others with compassion first, and not wait to get to the compassion until after I've had a pity party myself!

This is not a trap either.  This is Emily.
She is your reward for getting to the bottom of my post :-)

The Power of Story

The Princess and Me (Sherie)

I took a class called "My Story Matters" and I just started a book called "The Stories We Tell".  I spent a year doing "The Inheritance Project" where I wrote some of my stories on my blog, and I have many journals where I have written my story as it happened, from the perspective I had at the time.  I have memories that play out like stories, and I have learned that my story matters, as does yours.

As I write, I discover things.  I have discovered past guilt that was easier to let go of because of new perspectives.  I have discovered empathy for a young me that did the best I could at any given time, but who sometimes got it wrong.  I was young and human, and looking back helped me have empathy not just for me, but for those who were with me as I went through various experiences.  As I have taken the time to write, I have even discovered things I was believing about myself that are not true.  Changing those false beliefs has helped me to be happier.

Stories do matter.  The stories we hear and believe, the ones we live, and the ones we tell ourselves. Looking at various parts of my story has helped me see the pain of perfectionism, and the shame that comes with it.  I've seen people more clearly as I looked at my stories through the eyes of a grown up, and took into account their struggles and the fact that they are human and imperfect just like me.  I even discovered that when I thought people were ignoring me, perhaps they just were not able to hear me.  I always hear my voice powerfully, but have learned that it doesn't travel far!

It is not always easy to work through past stories.  I have cried a lot over the past until I have been able to work through those stories and see them with a new found perspective of empathy, forgiveness, and maybe even humor.  As I have done this I have found freedom from past hurts, guilt, sorrow, and the dislike of self that comes from telling myself that I "should" have done better, I "should" have been smarter, etc.  I am sure I have more stories to work through, and more work to do as I learn to tell myself good stories that are motivating and full of grace!  I am also sure that as I work through these stories I will find more freedom and the ability to see myself more like God sees me.

The power of our stories is great.  The way we see our stories and the way we share them can change us, and those around us, for worse, or for better!

Feeling Blah

Tia Emily and Brigham in their reunion shirts.
These people do NOT make me feel blah.  I sure miss them though!

Pretty Emmy held by Nana

Today hasn't been a bad day, but I feel kind of blah.  Yesterday I was tired.  I had a hard time staying awake in church (sorry speakers!) and then I messed something up -- not irreparably, but who likes to mess up and disappoint people?  And then I went home and ate and just felt tired and so I took a nap, but still managed to be sleepy at bedtime.

Today I woke up to a cloudy but beautiful view of the mountains and found a couple of songs that I really like.  I have done laundry, played my flute and the piano, and taught flute and recorder lessons to a couple of cute and kind girls.  I have talked to a friend, and Derek, and Dan.  All of the things I have done have been good, and yet I still feel blah.

What do you do when you want out of a blah mood and into a happier one?  One option is always distraction.  T.V. or a book -- something interesting, and with a happy ending.  I could try to move really fast in the hopes that some energy will appear along with the movement.  Blah can disappear while I work on creative things.  I really enjoyed playing instruments this morning, and I am sure I can come up with a creative project to work on.   

Probably the most important thing to do to really get rid of the blahs is to look at what I am focusing on.  If my focus is on all of the ways I fail, then my blah mood might stick around for a very long time!  I really need to focus on the good, and all I have to be grateful for including the following: 

Uplifting music, sweet girls to teach, good friends, an awesome family, a soft, fluffy Teddy who follows me around, and laundry machines so I don't have to wash by hand and hang things on a clothes line.  I have good food to eat, ice to go with my water, plants, flowers, and trees to enjoy, and a nice rug in my office under my feet.  I have instruments, books, socks, blankets, plants, and a computer to type on.  Best of all, I am perfectly loved by our Father in heaven and Jesus.  I fail, but as long as I keep turning to them, I will be okay.  I will even get past the blahs!

Brigham and Tia on an ice cream adventure.
I bet you know whose ice cream was blue!

One of our beautiful sunsets.

I Love Getting Creative

 "I Love Getting Creative" is something that Ben Napier says all of the time on his and Erin Napier's show Home Town.  It was partly their show that inspired me to start looking for old things to make new, or other creative projects I can do around my house to make things better.  Doing creative projects brings me a lot of joy.  Some projects are as simple as painting a room (which is simple -- but not necessarily easy!).  Some projects are restoring old furniture, or trays, or whatever else I find that I think I can do something with.  Here are a couple of my recent projects.

I found this at D.I. for $2

I had fun painting a board to go behind it and making the shelf look newer.

Now it gets used as a part of my work bench to hold my work apron,
some gardening tools, a tape measure, and wood glue.

I got this from a neighbor who left it on the side of the road for free.
It used to be a desk, but I cut off the desk part.

This is what it looks like now.  It holds my flute music
and the sheets that go with the futon couch.  It looks pretty in the piano room!

I also painted the piano room.  Our other house had a lot of color inside by the time we moved out.
This one is mostly gray.  Kayli and I missed our green piano room and so now we
have one again.  Instead of one green wall, all four are green.  Only one is dark green.
I love it!

Special thanks goes to my Mom and Mother-in-law who are so encouraging and kind that they get pictures of all of my projects.  They are really great at telling me what a good job I've done, and who doesn't like a good complement?

Naming Plants

I watched a show where Joanna Gaines' sister was starting her plant shop.  One of the things she did was name each of the plants she was selling.  The other day, because I had used my wood burning tool to make a No Soliciting sign, I got the idea to name all of my plants and make signs for them.  I spent quite a bit of happy time doing this the next day.  It was a creative and fun activity.

Meet Kahuna.  I re-potted this big Aloe the same day I named it.
I also had to make it smaller since a couple of its long arms were bent and not looking good.
Since Aloe is used for healing, I looked up words on WordHippo that
are related to healer.  Kahuna has, apparently, historically been used to
refer to doctors.  Who knew?

This kind of plant, according to my plant app, is symbolic of love and so
I named her Ruth -- from the Bible.

This is Lucky.
This is the kind of plant I am best at not accidentally killing:-)

Sampson here is a "Monstera" plant.  I am hoping this plant
will live up to its name and become really strong.

Mickey is the first plant I named -- except maybe Spike.
Mickey has two branches that used to make it look like it had
Mickey mouse ears.  I like to sing "Hey Mickey, You're so fine..." to it.

These plants are tiger tooth aloe plants.  I had four in one pot and now I have four
in three pots.  Plucky was the first name I came up with -- hoping it would inspire
my little aloe to quit struggling so much and thrive.  Rajah is the name of the tiger in Aladdin.

From left to right these are Zipper, Dukun, Marnie, Zen, Shere & Khan, Adrian and Sai.

This is Spike -- the parent of Sai - above (Sai is the name of a pointed weapon)

I did decide, as I was naming my plants, that instead of going into the "depths of despair" over being a plant murderer if some of the plants die, like I used to since I have not historically had a green thumb when it comes to house plants, I will just need to have a "Thanks for the time you were my plant" ceremony, sending them off to plant heaven.