Forgetting Self in Service

One of the three excellent talks on Sunday was on losing ourselves in the service of others.  The speaker, my friend Lory, grew up with five brothers and so she was a little disgruntled when her Grandma asked her to do the dishes for her Mom every day.  She explained to her grandma just how many dishes that was, but her Grandma had been asked to do the same thing for her Mother when she was growing up and she asked Lory to do the dishes every day and see how she felt.  So Lory did what she was asked, washing a lot of dishes by hand every day.  She learned to love doing dishes, and I imagine her Mom was super grateful.

Her talk reminded me of a time in college when I was talking to my Mom.  I was having a hard time and my Mom said when that happened to her she would get out the ward list and go down it until she came to someone she felt like she could help in some way, and then she went to help.  I have tried this occasionally.  I do not always manage to forget myself by doing service, but at the end of the day I can at least look back and know I have tried to do something good.

Sunday after church I was doing the dishes and jokingly asked who was going to decide to do the dishes for me every day.  Nobody volunteered, but when everyone else went outside, Jake quietly came over and helped me finish up the dishes before we headed outside too.  Service does not need to be big to make a difference.

*Photo by Catt Liu on Unsplash

The Joy of Dishes In The Wrong Place

Mike in Michigan
Mike is good at helping.

There have been times in the past when I have been frustrated when I couldn't find some dish or utensil that had gotten put away in the wrong place.  This was particularly true if I was in a hurry, and something I could usually find was missing.  Lately, however, I mostly smile when the dishes are in the wrong place because it means that someone has been helping.

The other day Dan got up in the cupboard to get a bowl.  We have two sizes of bowls and the big ones go up by the plates and the little ones go in the cabinet under the phone.  Dan found a little one up with the big ones and said, "Mike's been helping!"  I absolutely love that Mike (one of my sons-in-law) had been helping, and that Dan knew he had been helping.  It doesn't really hurt anything to have things in a different place than usual, and it sets such a good example for Dan to see Mike help all of the time without being asked.

Finding misplaced dishes almost always means that someone has been helping me (I rearrange things a lot) -- so there is joy and gratitude to be found in having dishes in the wrong place.

Go About Doing Good

Here's Jake doing some good by helping me pick up Teddy
after a traumatic day at the vet getting a pokey weed out of his ear that he managed
to pick up while hiking with Kayli.
Kayli wasn't able to go, and Teddy loves Jake.

One of the keys to happiness is to go about doing good.  In Elder Uchtdorf's talk Believe, Love, Do he says, "The scriptures reveal that the more we love God and His children, the happier we become."  I have found that when I really feel like I have helped someone, I feel joy, peace, and gratitude.  I feel those same things when people help me.

Recently I had a Thursday that I was dreading.  It had already been a busy week and that day I had to get a mammogram.  Because of having a little bit of breast cancer last year this was particularly stressful.  Then I had to get my allergy shots (2 painful pokes).  It was a wet, rainy, gray day, but it ended up being a good day because there were people who "went about doing good" to me, and I had a chance to do some good too.

At the mammogram, which showed that all was well, the lady helping me and I shared our stories of last year.  She had a kidney and pancreas transplant!  I felt like talking with her was maybe helpful to us both.  Then Patty, who often gives me my shots, and who knows how rough last year was, is always so happy to see me, and so sympathetic, and sorry for the pain of the pokes she gives me that getting those shots was not so terrible.  Next I was able to visit Tia and help her with her frustration with figuring out how to apply to be a substitute teacher.  And finally, I was able to pick up a smoothie for Kayli on my way home, which she made me feel good about because she was wanting one, and the place we like to get them is not super close to home.

A day that I was dreading turned out to be a good one because of people who went about doing good, and because I tried really hard to do the same.  (And honestly, it didn't hurt that there was nothing bad on the mammogram!!)