Grasping For Gratitude

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I have, on occasion, felt like I was reaching out and trying to grasp gratitude, but it was illusive.  Other times, when I have been very stressed, it has been hard to take my mind away from my worries and into gratitude.  But I firmly believe that finding gratitude, especially in the midst of our hardest times, is a key to perspective, peace, and joy.  I have been taught this lesson over and over through a variety of circumstances.  So here are some things I am grateful for.

This very beautiful world we live in.  This morning as Jake was driving to drivers ed there were streams of sunlight coming out of a hole in the clouds.  It was so beautiful!

Music.  It once again came to my rescue this morning.  It was early, and I knew I wasn't going to sleep more because I was feeling sad, and was worrying over some things.  Then I decided I could sing, and I remembered that I used to sing a song with the line "Let the sunshine in, face it with a grin, smilers never lose and frowners never win".  I sang it so much that my roommate had it memorized.  So, even though it wasn't sunny this morning, I sang it and smiled.

The humor to be found in simple things.  I set an alarm on Alexa this morning and when it went off I said, "Thank you Alexa", which didn't turn the alarm off but did have her talking through the alarm and sounding very thankful for my gratitude!

Hugs.  All of my boys hugged me this morning.  They are such good boys, and so good to their Mom!

Friends.  One sent me a thoughtful text this morning, one picked up Jake when he got out of class early, and there are others out there who smile and are kind when they see me, and that makes a difference!

I am thankful for the fact that there are people who actually read what I write, which I think is sweet! 

I am thankful for all of the encouragers in my life.  I hope you have a lot of them in your life too, and that you can find the strength to find things to be grateful for no matter how hard life gets.

*** I'm also thankful for people who share their beautiful photos for me to use!
Photo by 周 辰曦 on Unsplash

A Patch of Sunshine

This picture is of a patch of sunshine in our piano room.  There is joy to be found in the little things, and I love when there is a patch of sunshine in this room for me to sit in when I am eating my breakfast and doing my morning study.

Let me encourage you to get up every day and focus on what you do have in life. Be thankful for the blessings of the little things, even when you don't get what you expect.            Victoria Osteen

Receiving Is A Kind of Giving

I was listening to a session from a relationship class this morning and I hurried to write down this quote:  "Receiving is a kind of giving and it takes strength".   This quote brought to mind a way that I am regularly not receiving a gift that is often given to me.

I may have mentioned before that Derek is super great.  He occasionally tells me that I am awesome.  My reaction?  Usually a sinking feeling inside because I don't think of myself that way -- and I struggle with trying to say thanks.  When I heard this quote my thoughts went to all of the times Derek has said something nice like that, and I haven't really received it.  I haven't stopped to be thankful that he really believes what he is saying, and that, in all of the ways he is thinking of, I am awesome!  He would not have said it otherwise.

As I have contemplated this thought a little bit today, I have determined that when he says something like that, I need to work on being truly grateful and keep my mind from listing any and all ways I think I am falling short of awesome!  I know that when I have taken the time to tell someone the good things I appreciate about them, and they have received those words with joy, it has felt like they were giving me the gift!  It is time to make sure that I use the strength necessary to receive the gifts that come my way.  I believe in this way both I, and the gift giver, will be happier.

*Quote by Jennifer Finlayson Fife
*Photo by Tuân Nguyễn Minh on Unsplash

Putting Pain in The Past

A year and less than a week ago I came home from the hospital after having had a hysterectomy.  The last, besides medicine, of my treatments for breast cancer.  Derek wanted to take pictures of us with some of our breast cancer things to celebrate.  To try, I think, to finally put the trauma, and pain in the past where it belongs. 

I have found, through experiencing other hard things, that the best way to put the pain in the past is to focus on gratitude.  On all of the things that went right, and on all of the good things that people did, and the prayers that were answered.  

I do not claim that focusing on gratitude and not on the things that were really hard, or scary, or that might still be a bother is easy.  I have gone to write letters expressing my gratitude, and sat and cried because I still felt more traumatized than grateful.  I have walked into doctor's offices for things not related to cancer and had to push back the feelings of anxiety over being in one more doctor's office after I've been in so many!  But the gratitude is there too, and over time, it becomes easier to focus on those things -- especially if I take the time to remember how very, very many things went right, and how generous and helpful family, friends, doctors, nurses, and even strangers were.

So here's to putting pain in the past, or at least covering past pain with gratitude until it really doesn't hurt anymore.

Kayli and Derek and Me

What I Love About Today (Written on Thankful Thursday)

This is Tia when she was a baby.  I've been looking for this picture for a long time!
This is only a wallet sized one that I took a picture of.  I found it yesterday while cleaning the office.
Isn't she so cute? She grew up to be very beautiful.  I love my Tia!

The very photographed dog Teddy-- though 9 out of 10 pictures I take of him end up blurry because
he doesn't sit still.  Kayli likes me to send her pictures of him while she is at work
because she misses her doggie friend.

Loving every day of my life, which is what my blog says after the title, is not just me enjoying my life, but me loving the people in it, and the experiences, and the things, and more things that I haven't listed.  So here are some things I love today.

I love that it was sunny and quiet when I got up, and I enjoyed reading and eating my breakfast with quiet music playing.  I loved playing ball with Teddy because he loves it SO much, and it really was beautiful outside.  I watered a few things that may or may not have needed water, and Teddy is hilarious when the hose is on and moving around.  He acts like it is alive and he must attack it.  That was funny.

Next I went to Walmart early enough that it wasn't busy, and I only got one thing that wasn't on my list (Miracle!) -- and it was on my list last time, I just forgot it!  I love that after I mowed the front lawn, I was smart enough to know that I was too tired to mow the back lawn today, and it won't hurt to wait another day. And I enjoyed talking to Kayli, who was very sympathetic, and who offered to mow even though it would make breathing really hard for her.

I love that Derek called me from work and was encouraging and kind.  I love that Dan made cookies and was proud of how well they turned out, and that Jake helped me put the family picture and a picture of the ocean in frames and get them hung up.  I enjoyed Jake's smile as he told me about trying to juggle, and how juggling in the shade is easier than juggling in the sunshine.

I love that even on days when my energy is low, there are so very many things that I can be thankful for, and writing about them has helped me to notice them more.

The Very Best Somethings

Yesterday, when it was tomorrow, it was too much day for me.  

Winnie the Pooh

 I really loved the movie Christopher Robin and every time I hear the quote above it reminds me that sometimes we borrow trouble by worrying about tomorrow instead of just enjoying the day we are in.

I like that in Christopher Robin the "very best somethings" don't come from a to do list.  Instead, "Doing nothing often leads to the very best something."  Work is good.  Play is good.  But just enjoying being alive right now with family, friends, and beauty all around, without having to accomplish anything is perhaps the best of all.

Gratitude

At stake conference we had a couple we know speak on gratitude, and I wanted to say an extra big AMEN!  I seem to discover over and over how important gratitude is to joy, and peace.  This morning as I knelt to pray I was thinking of a comment someone made about how when they were in pain they had been given the counsel to be grateful even if the pain was not taken away.  After a blessing they said a long prayer of gratitude and had the pain disappear.  She testified that gratitude is healing.

Pain can be really hard to ignore, and being grateful doesn't always, or maybe even often make it go away, though it can still be healing.  I am writing this on Easter morning.  There is so much to be grateful for, and yet I mainly feel tired, and my head hurts, and I feel a bit sorry for myself.  Why can't I just feel well?  And be energetic?  As I write though, we have a depiction of the Atonement of Jesus Christ running in the background, and His pain was much greater than mine, and He not only wished it would go away, but He could have made it go away -- except He knew we needed Him to go through that pain.

The atonement Christ made assures me that He understands my pain.  I am grateful for His patience, and the love He gives even when I am struggling to get past my pain enough to feel my gratitude.  His love is healing for me even if my pain doesn't go away.  There is nothing hard that Christ's love, and gratitude for Him can't make better.

A Quick Thought

Me and Derek
at Christmas
2018

It is a little dangerous, at least for me, to reflect too much on my day when I am tired.  I can have a perfectly lovely day like today, and suddenly, when I am feeling worn out, anything I wish I could have done or said better comes to the forefront.  Unsolved problems come out of the woodwork.  I start to feel inadequate and defeated instead of grateful.  So, when I am tired, and I want to reflect on my day, I have to deliberately go at it from a perspective of gratitude.  That way I have a good chance of smiling as I climb into bed instead of crying.

The Joy of Dishes In The Wrong Place

Mike in Michigan
Mike is good at helping.

There have been times in the past when I have been frustrated when I couldn't find some dish or utensil that had gotten put away in the wrong place.  This was particularly true if I was in a hurry, and something I could usually find was missing.  Lately, however, I mostly smile when the dishes are in the wrong place because it means that someone has been helping.

The other day Dan got up in the cupboard to get a bowl.  We have two sizes of bowls and the big ones go up by the plates and the little ones go in the cabinet under the phone.  Dan found a little one up with the big ones and said, "Mike's been helping!"  I absolutely love that Mike (one of my sons-in-law) had been helping, and that Dan knew he had been helping.  It doesn't really hurt anything to have things in a different place than usual, and it sets such a good example for Dan to see Mike help all of the time without being asked.

Finding misplaced dishes almost always means that someone has been helping me (I rearrange things a lot) -- so there is joy and gratitude to be found in having dishes in the wrong place.