I love....

Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash

I love breathing the crisp morning air.

I love the smell of roses.

I love walking through gardens.

I love singing along with show tunes.

I love the smell of cinnamon, and pine.

I love the taste and smell of warm homemade bread with butter and honey.

I love a well told story with a happy ending.

I love ah ha moments.

I love walking off of the path -- through the woods.

I love walking in a warm rain.

I love looking up at the night sky on a clear night when there are no lights around.

I love dancing.

I love looking at old family photos.

I love looking at beautiful art.

I love reading in the lamplight.

I love sitting by a fire.

I love watching birds.

I love hugs.

I love the sound of cellos.

I love a lot of different instruments well played.

I love uplifting conversations.

I love the laughter of children.

I love soft carpet or rugs.

I love warm, soft blankets.

I love libraries with rows and rows of books.

I love sunshine, rain, and snow in their seasons.

I love cold lemonade.

I love a well finished project.

I love forests, and corn fields, and oceans.

I love waterfalls, and streams, and rivers.

I love words -- especially kind ones.

I love the American flag and what it represents.

I love old buildings, old furniture, old lots of things.

I love the beautiful world I live on and the wonders in the sky.

I love "my" people and am doing my best to love all people.

I really can't name everything I love, but I thought it would be fun to make another list just for the fun of thinking of the many good things there are to do and see and eat and smell and love.

When One Loves....

I couldn't think of a picture that fit my post and so here is a blast from the past.
Goblin Valley, 2019.  Me and my boys.

Today at D.I. I saw the book The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  Yes, I passed it up.  I couldn't think of a justifiable reason to buy another copy!  So, when I opened this to write a blog and went a little blank, I decided to open the book to a random page and see what I found.  I ended up reading the section of the July chapter that is about spending out.  This meant to her that instead of saving things or ideas for later, she would use them and enjoy them now, trusting that there would be more things or ideas later.

Gretchen doesn't stop there.  She feels the most important things about "spending out" is to do things without keeping score.  She is not talking about when you play sports or a game.  She is talking about not doing things for people with the idea that you will get something back.  She quotes Saint Therese of Lisieux who wrote "When one loves, one does not calculate."  It is so easy for me to fall into the trap of doing things with the hope that someone will respond!  It is better if I can do things for the love of doing them, or for the love of the people I choose to do them for.  That is the way to  go!

Celebrate!

There are a lot of hard things in life, but there are a lot of good ones too.  I think it is important for us to pay extra attention to the good things and to celebrate the good in our lives any chance we can.  This past week we celebrated birthdays, an anniversary, and Mother's Day.  Maybe we should have at least little mini celebrations every week!

We could celebrate beauty, laughter, warmth, sunshine, rain, friends, family or family members.  We could celebrate flowers and trees and ice cream.  We could celebrate the good we see in people or the good things we saw someone do.  We can celebrate love, because any time someone gives us love, or gives love to others, it is worth taking at least a moment to acknowledge, smile, and give thanks -- or maybe even do a happy dance!

Heaven With You

It turns out that I don't have a picture of heaven!
This is pretty though.
Photo by Ash Ashley on Unsplash

In Jesus' time the Scribes, Pharisees and Sadducees spent a lot of time thinking about how to be more obedient.  They were intent on following every rule in the Law of Moses, and even making some more.  They were going to obey their way to heaven, while looking down at those who weren't quite as good at checking all of the boxes.  Sadly, they missed the part where the law was meant to point them to the Savior who would come and to remind them to focus on loving the way that He does.  When Christ came, they didn't recognize Him, or if they did, they were too pleased with their power and stature to let it go to follow this humble carpenter who could do amazing miracles.

It is easy to look down on them for their choices, but I have noticed myself being a bit like them before.  I go to church every Sunday, checked all of the covenant boxes, and do my best to keep the commandments and -- well look at those poor souls who are messing up!  They really should know better shouldn't they?  The truth is, if I am just checking boxes and forgetting to love God with my whole heart and my neighbor as myself (which doesn't include judging or telling them what to do), I am messing up big time.

I do not think that Heaven is a place where people sit and gloat over how much better they have been than everyone else!  Podcaster Richard Ostler said, "Heaven isn't about separating us from others and the feeling of satisfaction as we see those who didn't make it.  Heaven is about reaching out and bringing others with us." (quoted in The Law of Love by Steve Young).

The plan really is for us to learn to love so well that others want to come with us because being in our Savior's presence with the people we love is the happiest place to be.

The Law of Love

For me the easiest part of the law of love might be loving babies!
Especially "my" babies!
Emily looks like Spring!

This past Thursday I was able to go to Women's Conference at BYU with my friend Shannon.  The first talk we heard was by Steve Young and Laurel Day.  The title of their "talk", which was more of a discussion was "Human Dignity:  To See Another's Soul."  By the end of the talk I was a huge fan of both presenters because they were so passionate about trying to see every person the way that God sees them and treat them accordingly.  They called it "transfigured eyesight".  It means leaving self, and self interest behind and really seeing someone.

The question to ponder is "How can I find this for everyone".  In the Book of Mormon In Moroni 7:48 it asks us to "...pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that yet may be filled with this love...".  This love is charity, or the pure love of Christ, which is the love God has for ALL of His children.  It is a love where we keep in mind that we are all in the family of God, and not just family, but beloved family who we really want to see healed and happy.

There were two thoughts I will mention.  One made me chuckle, but is something that is done too often -- by me and by others.  That is starting a relationship with, "I know what you need".  I think even in relationships we've had for a long time it is not our job to tell anyone what they need, but instead to listen, and try to understand, and to look for all of the potential this person has (because it is there).

The other was a thought about a lost sheep.  They had a quote from a shepherd who said that "sheep don't get lost, they run when they don't feel safe."  Now before you discount this because Jesus is a shepherd and He seeks the lost sheep, I believe the shepherds referred to here are us mortal shepherds.  The thought to contemplate is this, "If you are going to seek the lost sheep, first admit that you might be the reason they aren't there."  Do our "sheep" feel loved or judged?

I loved this talk and want to do better at remembering to pray for charity so that I can see others as God does.

No Unkind Feelings

I was just reading my notes from General Conference.  Elder Soares talked a bit about "being bound to Jesus".  It's kind of a fun thought to imagine us tied to Jesus so that He is beside us wherever we go.  It reminds me of the Primary song If The Savior Stood Beside Me.  In the song we are asked how we would act, think, and speak differently if Jesus were right beside us.  It for sure would help us remember to be on our best behavior!  At least I think it would.

Making covenants is like binding ourselves to Jesus, and as long as we remember those covenants and all that Jesus has done for us, we are changed completely.  That change helps us to not have any unkind feelings towards anyone.  I think it might be good to mention that, as imperfect people, when we do have unkind feelings towards someone, refocusing on Christ and all He has done can help us forgive and move past that.

I was also reading about King Benjamin's people in the Book of Mormon and how they had "a mighty change of heart" and had "no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually."  If I focus on Jesus, then I too, with His help, can do good continually.  That is what I hope to be like!

Be Curious

This really has nothing to do with my post, but the turkeys came back!
I guess I could be curious about why the turkeys make me smile
but just look at this turkey.  He's pretty awesome!

There are times when I start to feel sad, or upset, or frustrated, or even angry and I am not sure why.  Instead of focusing on the feeling and starting to cry, or hide, or lash out, it is better if I can remember to be curious.  What am I feeling?  What do I need?  What was I expecting?  Is there something I need help with?  Do I just need to talk something out?

There are times when I have actually been successful at this, and other times when I forget and just react and then cry about not acting how I wanted to.  In my class my friend said that she likes to remember when she is starting to have overwhelming feelings, "Everything is an opportunity to practice".  I was also reminded when I was watching Hometown yesterday that problems can just be considered "solution opportunities".  

It can sure be hard to break our usual patterns of reactions, but it is not impossible.  It just takes a bit of work, and practice, and compassion for ourselves when we don't manage to do as well as we hoped.  I am hoping that I can look at any issues that may come up today as chances to practice -- or solution opportunities!

The State of My Heart

Even prickly things can be beautiful.

In this world of media, and never ending pictures to compare ourselves too, I often find it is easy to get fixated on the wrong things.  I do this in regards to myself and also to others.  It is unfortunate.  We were not all meant to be the same size, to like to wear the same things, to enjoy doing the exact same activities, or even to like the same food.  Some people came into the world loving music, while others don't seem to be affected by it.  Some people are super athletic, while others would rather do just about anything except some kind of sport.  You get the point.  We are all unique.

The interesting thing is that when I am fixated on some part of me not being exactly like I want, I forget all about those around me and how they may be feeling about themselves!  I also forget to be thankful about the gift of life that I have.  If I am fixated on what others are doing that I think they "shouldn't" then I am not focusing on myself and the things I could do better, or on the good that is in them.  

No matter who I am being judgmental towards, whether myself or someone else, it keeps me from seeing the good in either.  This is not what Jesus wants at all!  We are perfectly loved, and He would like us to practice loving ourselves and all of our family, friends, and even strangers more perfectly.  He even included enemies in those we should love!

We are told in 1 Samuel 16:7 that the Lord doesn't see us like we do because we look at the outward appearance and He looks at the heart.  It is totally possible that whoever I decide to judge for some perceived flaw is actually more pure of heart than me and I am too busy judging to get to know who they really are, and to find out what it is that God loves about them.

We are all perfectly loved and therefore perfectly loveable.  The state of my heart will be more pure if I leave off judging, and look to be better at loving.

Projects

I often really enjoy projects.  I like to find old things and make them look new again.  I have done a couple of projects recently and have a few that I am in the middle of.  I am trying not to collect more projects before I finish up the ones I already have!

This is a tray I got at the Treasures Antique store.  I like elephants and it was cheap.

This is the bottom after I had cleaned it up a bit.

Here it is finished and helpfully holding some elephants on top of my cupboards.

Here is a stool I bought at D.I. after I took the "lovely" olive green cushion off.

Here is the bottom in the basement being repainted.
I redid the top twice.  The first time it was covered with a jean cloth that had stars on it.
The sun faded it and so I got real indoor/outdoor upholstery cloth.

Here is the finished product -- though I am still considering
getting vinyl flowers to put on the ends.

Some projects take a long time for me to get to.  The elephant tray was pretty quick.  The stool probably took a couple of years.  I have other projects I started about four years ago that I am still working on!  That is why I think I'd better finish some before getting more!

Holding On and Letting Go

*Picture of Me (Sherie) and Derek by Connor

As a part of my class I am to write down what I want my closest relationships to look like.  What did I discover?  I discovered that I have held on to an old hurt that had me thinking one way when there has been plenty of evidence that my tightly held conclusion was wrong!  It is time to let that one go!

I was endeavoring to write what I wanted my closest relationships to look like by only talking about things I am in control of.  It is easy to see where I wish someone else would change, but it is not helpful.  The helpful thing is deciding what I want and need and figuring out how I can get that want or need met without the need for the other person to change.  Maybe they will change if I change, but maybe not.  My job is to love them the way they are -- not to make them different.

Of course, if I had an abusive relationship, it would be my job to get to safety, but otherwise it is just my job to love them, not to change them.  It is very freeing to realize that I have more control of my life than I sometimes think.  I can choose what to think (though that takes practice) and how to react.  I have agency so I can choose to act and, as much as possible, not let myself be acted upon.

I will just point out that this sounds a lot easier than it may be -- but it is helpful to keep trying to take charge of who we are and who we want to be!

Fear Loves Tomorrow

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

I am reading a book called Declare War on Fear by Jeremy Johnson.  I have found it quite interesting and as I was reading yesterday I came across the words "Fear loves tomorrow" which I think is absolutely true.  I am really good at putting off until tomorrow (and the next tomorrow and the one after that) things that I am nervous about doing.

Yesterday as I read I thought of the item that has been continuously on my "to do" list lately -- make a video to go on my "Growing Great With Grandma" YouTube channel.  I have made videos before, but I have not really edited any videos for a long time, and I don't even know what program I used to use and so I needed to find one and figure out how to use it!  My channel has had zero videos for months!

So that one sentence got me moving.  I made a video of grandma on a bear hunt.  It took quite a while for me to figure out how to get it from my phone to my computer.  Then I ended up trying two different video editing programs.  Jake sat down with me while I figured out the one that ended up working and I giggled a bit at myself -- usually at the things I ended up editing out.  Perhaps my bloopers are more funny than the story!

It was good to be reminded that fear loves tomorrow and I am working to overcome the fear that keeps me from trying!  Hopefully, I will get better with time.

https://youtu.be/P-dy-OT9qYo?si=fYxvggq5qnYFseeZ

Meaningful and Compassionate

Someone left this little lamb in our mailbox on Easter.
Isn't it cute!  It makes me smile when I see it and am thankful
for the anonymous person who left it.

I read a quote today that says:

"In the pursuit of happiness, we should focus on those things that are meaningful, as opposed to things that are simply pleasurable. By finding meaning, we not only create happiness or happy moments, we sustain happiness over the course of a lifetime." 

When I was trying to decide what counted as meaningful I got a little stuck.  Thanks to my class, I know that sometimes there are other words that mean the same, or similar things that might work better for me and so I looked on wordhippo.com.

Here are some words I liked:  purposeful, essential, worthwhile, useful, good, impactful, needed, valuable, and generous.

There are so many good things I can choose from everyday, and the trick is deciding what I can do with how I am feeling that day.  Sometimes I have lots of energy to do good things that are worthwhile, purposeful, valuable, etc..  Other days there are circumstances that make doing anything "useful", or "impactful" or any of those good adjectives hard.

Sometimes, maybe the most meaningful thing I can choose to do is give myself grace and compassion instead of beating myself up over what I failed to do.  Maybe it is doing something really small, because that is all I have the energy for.  And after I do that thing, focusing on what I did do, and not what I did not manage to do.

Today is maybe a little in between.  I am tired and have the same annoying headache that I've had for a few days, but I also feel just fine otherwise and there are plenty of good things I can actually manage to accomplish.  No matter what today looks like for you, I hope you will know that you are valuable no matter what you can or cannot accomplish, and that you will also know that you are loved.

Fear Is A Liar

Photo by Jaqueline Fritz on Unsplash

The blog title I chose is actually the title of a song by Zach Williams, but I chose this topic because this week in my class we are talking about overcoming fear.  I have an assignment to write five things I have learned from fear.  This is an interesting thing to think about!  Here are some of the things I came up with:

1.  Fear can stop progress.  If we have made mistakes or sinned, we can fear we are too unworthy, or are worthless, and stay stuck.  If we are afraid of trying things that are out of our comfort zone, we avoid learning new things, or trying things we might enjoy.  Instead we stay stuck where we are -- missing out on things we might love, people we might meet, and help that we are all worthy of.

2.  Choosing our direction based on what we are least afraid of can actually create shame.  For example, when I was trying to choose what to major in in college I would look at a major, and what classes were required, and if I thought some might be scary, embarrassing, or too hard, I would look at a different major.  I ended up majoring in Family Living, which is a combination of Psychology, Sociology, and Family Science and graduating with a Bachelor of Arts, but even though it wasn't really easy, I always had a hard time feeling proud of my accomplishment because I had chosen based on fear.

3.  Fear of what people might think can keep us from being our authentic selves, and make it so we try to "fit in" instead of standing out for who we are.

4.  I have also found that when I fear what someone else thinks, I am often projecting how I feel about myself in that moment, or projecting the things about me I don't have confidence in.  When I think Derek is disappointed with me it is pretty much 100% of the time because I am disappointed in me!

5.  Working our way through our fears can, and I think usually does, make us stronger.

What have you learned from fear?