Hiding

A closet -- but not the one my Dad built for me.

Last night I was remembering a time when I was somewhere between the age of eight and 11 when my family lived in Kentucky.  My Dad had built me a room in the basement -- right at the bottom of the stairs.  In my room he built me a fabulous closet.  It was a walk in closet with very sturdy shelves, and it was my very favorite place to go when I felt like hiding.  I would climb up those shelves and sit at the very top and just listen.  I liked that nobody ever found me until I wanted to be found, but that I could hear them looking.  I liked being up high looking at things from a different perspective, and I liked the break from dealing with whatever seemed hard for me at the time.

Over the years I have often hidden when I feel overwhelmed.  Sometimes I hide and pray.  Sometimes I hide and listen to people looking for me.  Other times I hide hoping that I can find a different perspective, or at least the energy to deal with whatever it is that seems hard at the time.  Hiding in this way has sometimes been a good thing like hiding in my closet was when I was a child.  Other times it has just been me avoiding dealing with a problem.  It has been me wishing that the hard things would fix themselves.  It is me feeling inadequate, and just not knowing what to do, and being afraid to try.  I have hidden instead of asking for the help I really want.  I have often convinced myself that hiding when I am having a hard time is doing everyone else a favor.

Hiding is a way of coping, and I do not think it is always bad, but there are cases when it is just pride.  It is not wanting to admit that I need help and can't do everything by myself.  It is me trying to hide my imperfections as if everyone doesn't already know that I am imperfect.  Sometimes hiding is as foolish as trying to hide sins from God.  He knows about the sins, and wants to help, but can't help until we come out of hiding and let Him.  When there are problems to solve, and challenges I don't know how to deal with, hiding in the closet is really not often going to be the quickest way to a solution.  It's okay to hide and pray, and take a small break, but then it is time to come out of hiding and get help.

*Photo by Jose Soriano on Unsplash