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| My awesome family. Connor, Travis, Derek, Mike Trisa, Dan (in white), Me, Tia, Jake, and Kayli |
I have, and still sometimes do, find myself using those bad methods of deciding what kind of Mom I am. I have really great kids, which helps me feel better when I'm thinking I'm a failure as a Mom in some area, but even how my kids turn out isn't the best measure of whether or not I'm a good Mom! It turns out (spoiler alert for those who don't know) we can't control our children! We can try really hard, but then we just make them and us miserable.
So how do I decide if I'm a good Mom? Well, I need to sit down and decide for myself exactly what I think qualifies me for the "good Mom" title. Maybe it's to make sure there is food in the house that my children can fix when I don't get around to making dinner, and making sure they have clothes to wear that are at least close to their size. And I would probably include teaching them how to work (they may not learn, but I can teach!). I would also include teaching lots of other important stuff, especially about Jesus -- mostly by example and discussions because lecturing isn't a very successful method (I've tried).
No matter what my list looks like, the point is, I can't control what other people think about my parenting, and I can't really control what my children do or say or learn, but I can control myself (at least on a good day). And, because I'm human I will totally fail some of the time -- but that's the time to remember that I'm practicing and so I get to try again. So I decide by if I'm at least making a reasonable effort to accomplish my list. And I need to be reasonable about what I decide is reasonable :-)
1 comment:
Amen.
I felt a lot of anxiety in the early years of parenting (not that I don't still ). One of the parenting measuring sticks I was holding up to myself was a line in my blessing that says in essence "you will teach your children all that they need to know". What!
As my oldest left home for work and then his mission there where a couple of bumps in the road for him that I could do nothing about (except pray harder). He made his way through each trial by fasting and praying and finding a local priesthood leader (in another state and in another country) to give him a blessing. It came to me at some point that he knew all that he needed to know, which was where to turn for help-- to the Savior.
At this point I know that it doesn't matter what grades he got in 7th grade or that his Sunday pants where high waters. . . or that I pinched him to get him to practice the piano or . . etc.
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