Managing Money in Marriage

Having conflicting ways of managing money in your invisible marriage manual can be a really big challenge.  When Derek and I got married we really just didn't have much money that needed managing!  We set some amount of money $50? $100 (I don't remember) and if we were wanting to spend more than that, we would consult our spouse because we had combined our accounts, and "big" chunks of money missing could cause us to not be able to pay the rent for our colorful and "quaint" basement apartment.  (You gotta love red counter tops, orange carpet, and yellow linoleum!)

At the beginning of our marriage Derek did the bills, but watching money disappear really stressed him out, and I didn't like being reminded to make sure to turn the lights off because the electric bill seemed high.  Before too long we decided that I should do the bills.  I know how to pay them, and as long as I don't think we're being irresponsible, paying whatever the electric bill costs doesn't bother me.  I am really good at paying the bills and just being glad we can.

I do know that I could have done better at managing our money, especially in the beginning.  I remember Derek checking on the finances and finding that we were spending too much -- and if we kept spending that much we were going to be in trouble.  I also remember us being thrilled and relieved a few years later when we finally had a savings account with what felt like a good enough chunk of money to get us by if something bad came up.  Something needing money always comes up eventually!

I am thankful that Derek and I are close enough in our view of money that it has never been a big conflict.  I know that this is not always the case.  I also know that you can figure out your money together in some way that is happy for you.  It might look different than what we did, and might take some creativity -- but if you both agree on a system to try -- that is a start.  If it doesn't work it just means you learned something and it's time to try again!  Managing money in a way that gets the bills paid, builds savings for the day trouble shows up, and gives you enough to have a little fun too, is a good goal to have.