There Is Only One Right Way -- And It's Mine!

Dan in the dishwasher 2008

When Derek and I got married I thought there was one "right" way to do things, and if Derek wasn't doing things my way, he was obviously doing it wrong and needed help.  Ha ha ha!  That's a rather prideful way to look at things really, though I probably still do this sometimes without thinking.

I remember trying to "fix" how Derek was cooking something.  He had the heat on too high!  I turned it down.  He raised his eyebrows and turned it back up and did it his way.  Guess what?  It turned out just fine.  The funny thing is, I think Derek was the more accomplished cook!  Even if he wasn't, he hadn't asked for my help, and I should have asked him if he wanted my help before I stepped in and tried to change what he was doing.

I also tend to think there is a "right" way to load the dishwasher.  Really, it is just my favorite way to load the dishwasher.  When I kept "fixing" how other people loaded it (especially while they were helping), I quit getting help at all!  It took me a long time to figure that out.  Now, when my hands start twitching to rearrange the dishwasher, I remind myself I'd rather have help than have it done my way.

Dan getting a drink

There are a lot of things that we might think we do the one "right" way.  I have learned that I need to be pretty careful before I step in and take over something -- trying to help.  If I wasn't asked to help, I need to stop and think about how it is going to make someone feel if I step in and redo something that they just did.  There really is more than one right way to do things a lot of the time, and I try to be careful not to believe that my way is the only way!