Some of us go into marriage believing this, even if we do it unconsciously, but it isn't true, and here is why.
First, mind reading really isn't a reliable form of communication. I have sometimes believed that Derek should know what I want. I would get grumpy at him for not solving my grumpiness with his amazing insight -- gained through his great love for me. But here's the problem. When I asked myself what I wanted in those cases, I often didn't know! So how was he supposed to?
Second, no matter how obvious we think our hints are, they aren't. I still smile at the story some friends told us when they were first married. They were driving home, and the wife kept asking the husband if he was thirsty. He wasn't. She asked multiple times. He still wasn't thirsty! When they got home she started to cry. Why? Because she was thirsty and had wanted to stop for a drink! He assured her that if she had just said that she was thirsty he would have been happy to do what she wanted, but her "obvious" hint just looked like concern for his well being to him! (And if you are thinking to yourself, "but my hints are obvious -- just give it up already -- you'll be happier, and so will your spouse).
First, mind reading really isn't a reliable form of communication. I have sometimes believed that Derek should know what I want. I would get grumpy at him for not solving my grumpiness with his amazing insight -- gained through his great love for me. But here's the problem. When I asked myself what I wanted in those cases, I often didn't know! So how was he supposed to?
Second, no matter how obvious we think our hints are, they aren't. I still smile at the story some friends told us when they were first married. They were driving home, and the wife kept asking the husband if he was thirsty. He wasn't. She asked multiple times. He still wasn't thirsty! When they got home she started to cry. Why? Because she was thirsty and had wanted to stop for a drink! He assured her that if she had just said that she was thirsty he would have been happy to do what she wanted, but her "obvious" hint just looked like concern for his well being to him! (And if you are thinking to yourself, "but my hints are obvious -- just give it up already -- you'll be happier, and so will your spouse).
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