Men Make Money, Women Stay Home With The Kids

Derek with baby Trisa
Trisa's Uncle Devin is in the background on the right.

When I got married I believed that the man should make all of the money, and the woman should stay home with the children.  Derek, I think, actually was okay with that belief -- unless me not working was going to make it so we didn't have enough money to live on.  So when Trisa was born and Derek was attending school full time and we needed money, Derek asked me to help earn some.  I did not like that, and tried to argue that I needed to stay home with Trisa.  I was the Mom, and I was sure I was supposed to.  Was Derek wrong to insist that I help?

Back then I might have thought so, but I don't anymore.  We were married.  We were equal partners.  Derek is really, really amazing and impressive in what he can do, but he can't do more than time allows, or that he has the energy for.  He was able to watch Trisa while I worked a lot of the times, and she came with me sometimes to a daycare where I worked and I held her during my lunch times.

When Derek graduated and got a "real" job then he did earn the money, and I did get to stay home (which I wanted to do), and when he came home from work, I was perfectly happy to have him help take care of the kids!

I have liked that Derek makes the money, and I stay home, but that isn't the only way to do things, and isn't the right way for everyone.  We did what we felt was right for us.  It is important in every marriage to keep working together as equal partners to figure out what is best for your family, and to remember that what is best can change throughout the years.

My oldest child (Trisa) and my youngest (Dan)
2006