Responsibility and Opportunity

For many years I too often let myself be overwhelmed by responsibility.  I felt like I had the responsibility to always choose the right -- both for me, and for everyone in my family, and maybe a few other people on the side.  I was sure that I was supposed to always say the "right" thing, and teach my children the "right" thing at the "right" time and in the "right" way.  Of course, deep down I knew that was impossible, and so a lot of time I went into avoidance mode.  I stuck my nose in a book and tried not to think about how I was failing.  I was so overwhelmed that it never even dawned on me that I could take the opportunity to study, and learn how to think in a new way, and how to be more at peace with what I can do, and what I can't.

I still sometimes find myself shouldering responsibilities that aren't mine, and making mine sound much harder than they need to be.  I sometimes find myself stuck in trying to do everything and do it right.  Thankfully, I learned to take the opportunity to study more.  I have learned that I am responsible for me, and I am responsible to teach my children.  I have learned that they are responsible for them, and they are responsible to learn.  I can't make them.  I have learned that I am never going to do and say everything right all of the time, and I will occasionally get tired, and discouraged.  That is a part of being a normal human.  My job is to do the best I can, and to turn to Jesus for help when (not if) I make mistakes.  My job is to love everyone to the best of my ability, even the flawed person that is myself.

My responsibilities are opportunities to love, to learn, to practice, and to never give up trying.  They are opportunities to trust Jesus who is the Savior.  When my responsibilities feel heavy, they are opportunities to find rest, and peace knowing that I am not in charge, and the One who is has power and wisdom far beyond my own. 

Cling To The Vine

In John Chapter 15 Jesus talks of Himself as the vine, and us as the branches.  He tells us over and over to abide in Him.  He says if we abide in Him we will bear much fruit, but that we can do nothing without Him. 

I was reading in Anxious For Nothing today and the author, Max Lucado, talked about this.  He talked about how hard we might be trying to create the fruit that will show we are attached to the vine.  But this can become an impossible to do list.  As I think of it now, this can easily become perfectionism.  We are trying so hard to do what someone who loves Christ would do -- because we do love Him.  But I liked this thought:

"You long to be "anxious for nothing."  You long for the fruit of the Spirit.  But how do you bear this fruit?  Try harder?  No, hang tighter.  Our assignment is not fruitfulness but faithfulness.  The secret to fruit bearing and anxiety-free living is less about doing and more about abiding."

What exactly is abiding?  I think this means that we need to feel at home with Christ.  We do this by getting to know Him.  By thinking of Him.  By learning His ways and coming to the point where He is our first thought in times of trouble and times of joy.  He is our peace in every storm.  We trust Him with everything about us and know that He loves us just how we are and at the same time wants to help us be better.  I believe the more we come to know Him, the easier it will be for us to recognize what He would do, so we can do it too.  He does want us to produce good fruit, but He is the one that will give us the ability to not only do good works, but to do them with joy, and with a wisdom greater than ours.

Dan's Extended Birthday

I already wrote about Dan's birthday party.  He also already had a birthday dinner with our family (He picked scones for dinner and homemade peach sorbet for dessert).  That's when he got a present from Tia and Mike.

Take 2 on the trick candles.

I really think sympathetic candle blowing is a thing.  Look at Kayli and Tia. 
They both obviously want to help!

Dan has also had a date with "the best Grandma Christensen in the whole world".  He loves going to get a slurpy, a present, and then (this time) a 10 pack of chicken nuggets at Wendy's!

Tomorrow is his actual birthday.  He is picking dinner yet again.  Enchiladas this time (Dan style -- which just means they don't have any cheese or other dairy).  At least his birthday is on an A day at school.  He much prefers A day to B day!

Dan is a loving, kind, smart, twirly boy (he doesn't really stand still much).  We love him a lot.  He is very creative and loves using the program Scratch to create computer animations.  I think he remembers his dreams every night, and finds them fascinating.  If you want to talk to someone about video games and their history he is your guy!

Happy Birthday to our Dan!

From If Only to Already

I'm thankful for all of the people who dwell with me in the "fertile valley of Already".
This is Dan with his present from Mike and Tia (Tia is quick to point out that it was Mike who knew what Dan would like!)

In Max Lucado's book "Anxious For Nothing" he talks about moving from the banks of the "if only" river to the "fertile valley of Already."  He is simply pointing out that we can get stuck in the trap of thinking, if only (fill in the blank) then I will be happy, but it would be better to spend our time thinking of what we already have to be grateful for.  We all have different things, and so it is important to not get distracted by thinking of what someone else already has.  Just the great things we already have. 

So today I am thankful for the sunshine, my hat to cover my fun hair, a good book to read, Christmas music (which I am listening to because I wanted a lift and I love Christmas music), my recliner, the Rocket (my van), a call from Derek, Kayli's fuzzy dog who is cute, and a less hectic day to enjoy.

I hope you are finding joy today in the "fertile valley of Already"!

Jake, Dan and Connor rocking the sunglasses in Connor's car.

Mike getting ready to drive the Rocket so I can ride with Derek on the motorcycle.

That One Time .....

Picture by Connor
Unrelated to my post except it's me.
My "new" shirt from Amanda
and my new shoes because
my other ones hurt my feet.
And I like new shoes :-)

I remember this one time.  My visiting teachers, who were two nice ladies assigned to come visit me and give me a lesson once a month, made an appointment, and they showed up!  Good so far.  But then they proceeded to visit with each other.  I was totally unnecessary.  In fact, I kept thinking that maybe they wouldn't notice if I hurried and went to get a few things done while they chatted. 

This was a long time ago, and I do not remember who the ladies were.  I believe they had good intentions, but they knew each other better than they knew me, and perhaps it was just more comfortable to talk to each other.  Maybe I'm scary?  Anyhow, the point isn't that they were bad.  They weren't.  They just weren't paying attention to everyone in our little group.  I mention this because I have to wonder how often that has been me.  How often have I been the person chatting with the friend next to me, and not noticing the person on my other side who is lonely, and doesn't have someone to talk to?

I have been the new kid in many classes, and even the new member of several wards.  I am always thankful for the person who looks up, sees a stranger, and smiles.  I appreciate it when they invite me to sit by them, and then are friendly -- making conversation that I can participate in, or asking if I have questions.  It takes courage to walk into a room of strangers who all know each other!  It is hard when people sit around you talking about people and places you don't know.  I really want to be a person who pays attention, and doesn't given anyone stories they can tell of "That one time" when they were made to feel like an unnecessary outsider who isn't particularly needed or welcome. 

A Birthday Party For Dan

Dan blowing out his candles

Dan's favorite.  Trick candles!  His friends liked them too.

Generous gifts from friends, though the greatest gift was that they came and had fun.

Dan is becoming a teenager this week.  That is a little hard for me to wrap my brain around!  He really wanted a party this year, and we decided not to have it on Labor Day weekend and so we had it this past Saturday.  We only invited three people, and the plan was to go to Lowe's X-Treme sports and then to have pizza at home.  Friday night found Dan worrying that nobody would come, and Saturday, when all three people showed up, it made him very happy.  I am so thankful that those three friends came!

My plan was to take care of the party myself.  Derek works hard all week and somehow I have it in my head that I am "supposed" to do the birthday parties.  Unfortunately, though I won't try to explain here and I don't really understand it myself, Saturday wasn't a stellar day for me.  Derek took the kids to Lowe's and I went shopping to get things for last night's birthday dinner, and I ordered and picked up the pizza.

The party was a success.  Dan was so happy that his friends came, and they seemed to enjoy their time together.  As a Mom, I am always very grateful when people are kind to my children!  Dan wasn't as pleased with the afternoon since it didn't include friends, and did include cleaning his room, but at least the party was a success!

The Importance of Invitations

***

I have been studying a lot about unity lately.  I have had a lot of good discussions, and had people write to me their thoughts on the topic, which were helpful and enlightening.  One thing, which I knew was important, but maybe didn't recognized how important, was invitations.  Inviting people to do things with us, and having people invite us to do things with them. 

Even if we invite people to do something, and they can't do it, it lets them know that we were thinking about them and want them to be with us.  When I was a young mom, a friend inviting me to go places with her made a huge impact on my life for good.  During the stress of last year a friend invited me to ride with her to the lake and walk around.  She shared things that were helpful to me and it was a calm, peaceful retreat in a stormy time.  Lately, I have a couple of friends who invite me to go to the temple with them.  Even when I can't go I am always thankful to be thought of.

One of my sisters-in-law who wrote to me suggested that we never do a good thing alone (if possible).  We can at least invite someone to come, even if it doesn't work out.  Of course, we can turn anything into something to feel guilty about, and for some it can be scary to invite people to do things.  Somehow we need to learn to ditch the guilt, and be brave about making invitations.  I have seen and felt the good impact invitations have had on myself and others.  We do not have to plan a big event, or do anything grand.  We don't have to invite someone to come over for hours, or even at all.  We can invite people (or a person) to do things that we want to do and feel comfortable doing, and the impact for good that we will have will be more than we imagine.

***Photo by Duy Pham on Unsplash

Inasmuch As Ye Have Done It....

During my youth I was able to attend the pageant in Nauvoo a few times.  During one scene about the organization of the Relief Society they would sing a song that used the words from Matthew 25:40

"...Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

As they sang they would show women feeding the sick and playing with children, among other things.  The motto of the Relief Society is "Charity Never Faileth" and I think it is because of those depictions during the pageant, and the example of my own mother, that I always looked forward to being a part of something so great.  A great army of women who try to remember that every act we do, and every word we say, should be done and said as if the person we are helping, or talking to, is the Savior himself.  

Naturally, the reality is that the Relief Society is made up of human women, and so we sometimes fail.  But the more we practice, the more we can succeed, and an army of charitable women is surely needed everywhere to relieve all kinds of suffering and to provide love, kindness, and help.

**Relief Society Seal used by permission from churchofjesuschrist.org

Being Priceless

This is Dan in the place where I
pulled my hamstring in April.  It was
beautiful and I don't regret going.
I hope I can still say that when the
Physical Therapists are doing
painful things to make me better!
(The Dr. described what would
be done.  I am feeling kind of
chicken to go!)

Today I was whining to Derek and later to Connor about being expensive.  I went to the doctor today (Thursday) for a hamstring that I apparently tore back in April and that hasn't really healed properly -- maybe because I didn't go to the doctor in the first place to find out what to do.  Anyhow, the result is that I have to go to physical therapy twice a week for 6 weeks.  Ching! Ching!  Then we'll assume it will be fine because if not there is a list of even more expensive things I can do (which thankfully do NOT include surgery).

When I had cancer and bills would come I would cry.  Who wants to spend money on doctor bills?  Especially when my, of course large, contribution to the family brings in zippo dollars?  Derek was (and is) great and just says, "We just pay our bills" (and he could add that we don't need to overthink it!).  So today when I was waiting to see the doctor and the thought of how expensive I was came up I  pushed it back down, but it kept popping up.  Later Connor called for something unrelated and I told him I felt expensive.  He answered, "That's because you are Priceless!"  I much prefer being priceless to expensive so we'll go with that one :-).

Bumping Into Each Other With Our Light

Light of The World by
Brent Borup
Used by permission from
churchofjesuschrist.org

A friend of mine shared a quote by Virginia Pierce that she found in Silent Souls Weeping.  There are, for a variety of reasons, including depression, people who can't feel God's love in their life.  Sister Pierce said that we need to "just keep bumping into them with our light.  Don't take your light away from them; don't distance yourself from them.  It doesn't mean you have to preach to them or get them to come to church or find a way to fix them. Trust that just your presence in their lives makes a difference because you are full of light and love -- and that's what we all long for."

Sometimes we don't know what to do to help people, but we can love them.  I like the idea that we can "bump into people with our light" and we can leave a little spark behind.  And maybe, if enough people do the same thing, the light of those who are struggling with so much darkness will be kindled, at least enough to get them through another day.

The Importance of Knowing We're Broken

You might be thinking, "Wait! I'm not broken!"  Or you could be thinking, "How did she know?  I thought I was hiding it so well!"  I know because we are all broken.  By broken I simply mean that we get sick sometimes, and our bodies get old and achy and can't do what we want them to anymore.  We can't seem to stop ourselves from occasionally being sad, and angry and making bad choices.  To be human is to be broken, and we need to know this in order to realize that we need Jesus.

Not only is it important to know we are broken, I think it is important to share our brokenness, and not try to hide it so much.  It is in sharing that we can comfort people who thought they were the only ones who can't get it right, or who don't know what to do.  In sharing, we can comfort people with the stories of our struggles, and how eventually our prayers were answered, or our burden lifted.  And for whatever we are still struggling with, perhaps it is in sharing that we will find help, and compassion.

People are not perfect.  Unfortunately some people share and have found judgment, and self righteousness.  But Jesus loves the judgmental and self righteous people too because to be judgmental and self righteous is to be broken and in need of love and compassion as well.  At any time we can be both the judged and the judgmental and in either case we need Jesus to help us forgive or to help us see with love.

In Elder Holland's talk Broken Things To Mend, that I read through a few times before I got the courage to go get help when I needed it, he quotes a poem by George Blair called "The Carpenter of Nazareth".  I am going to share a part of it.

“O Carpenter of Nazareth,

This heart, that’s broken past repair,

This life, that’s shattered nigh to death,

Oh, can You mend them, Carpenter?”

And by His kind and ready hand,

His own sweet life is woven through

Our broken lives, until they stand

A New Creation—“all things new.”

In sharing our brokenness we can help others find Jesus, who can mend all that is broken,

and make all things new.

***Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

The Possibilities of a New School Year

Jake on the first day of his senior year of high school!

Dan on his first day of 8th grade

Today school started for Jake and Dan.  I asked Jake a week or two ago if he was looking forward to school and he said something like "kind of".  For Jake that's like saying, "Yeah.  I really am".  "Kind of" is pretty enthusiastic.  He has friends who he has classes with and he will enjoy that.

Dan likes the first day of school.  And the last one.  Otherwise it has a lot of ups and downs.  He really likes coding classes and was pleased with his creative writing class today.

It's been a long time since I actually attended school but I almost always loved a new school year.  There is just something nice about a new outfit or two, some new sharp pencils, pens that still have lids, and notebooks that haven't been shoved in and pulled out of a backpack over and over.  I like the possibilities of new school years.  There are possibilities for new friends, or time with old ones.  There is the possibility that this will be the year that you find a subject you love, or an inspiring teacher.

Eventually the school year can start to feel a little hard and repetitive.  Erasers get worn down, or the entire pencil goes missing.  Pens stop working, or look a little chewed on.  Notebooks are frayed and drawn on.  But there are still possibilities for good things, and if we can hold on to those, and find gratitude for the little good things in our days, then there is a possibility that this will be a really great school year!

Mike's Happy Birthday

Mike joined our family by marrying Tia over a year ago.  His birthday is August 17th, the day after my Mom's, and last year he was off doing army things on his birthday and so we didn't get to help celebrate a birthday with him until this year.  We had tacos.  There was game playing (Battleship, Skipbo, and Suspend). And then there was the brownie trifle -- with trick candles.  We do enjoy trick candles!

Connor, Tia, Mike and Jake playing Skipbo.  If I overheard correctly, Jake won both times.

Mike's brownie trifle in the Hug mug,
which is a mug I bought for Derek in one of our first years of marriage.
It's a vintage mug :-)

Mike (and maybe Tia) blowing out Mike's candles.
For the first time.

This is probably the 3rd or 4th time.

He thought he finally had them out -- but they were pretty persistent candles!

 It's always good to have Mike around.  We are really glad that he married Tia.  They are good at helping, smiling, laughing, and generally making everything more fun.  Happy Birthday to Mike!

My Mom

Mom and a little Kayli making banana bread.  

Mom and Trisa.  Both of these pictures are obviously old but I love them!

Mom and her famous (in the family) peanut butter pie.
This was Thanksgiving a couple years ago maybe?

Today (the 16th) is my Mom's birthday.  She is beautiful, as you can see.  She is smart.  I can still remember her wanting to learn to be better at speaking, and working at it, and I think she is very good at speaking (giving talks).  She studies a lot, and applies what she learns.  She is kind.  She treats everyone with love.  She is feisty sometimes -- though I can't think of an example really.  My kids love this about her though, and mention it occasionally.  Mom is a very good worker.  I have never been able to outwork my Mom.  After Connor was born she stayed here for two weeks helping and I sometimes just wanted her to stop working already and sit down!!  My house looked awesome for that two weeks!  I should have handed her Connor more -- except babies generally don't want you people to sit and hold them and so she still would have been standing!

I think my Mom is fun and has a good sense of humor.  She is good at being friends with people, and at helping a variety of people with a variety of things.  She is not perfect because none of us are, but she is a really good person, who doesn't really ever realize how wonderful she is.  I am thankful that she is my Mom.

One of my favorite memories was when she and Dad were getting ready to go on a mission -- to Russia I think.  They were staying here and going over to the Mission Training Center in Provo in the mornings.  Jake was pretty little.  He LOVED having grandma live here and so he would want her to have breakfast with him, and maybe play playdough or something before she left.  I think sometimes she had to have second breakfast, and my parents were occasionally late because my Mom couldn't say no to a cute little boy who loved her.  (And still loves her).

I love my Mom!

Beautiful Squash Plants and Super Villain Squash Bugs!!

My beautiful zucchini plants

I like my squash plants.  I think they are really beautiful, and they sure know how to make whatever squash it is that they were meant to make!  Every year I have had squash bugs.  My friend told me I needed to toughen up because I would apologize to them as I grabbed them and squished them.  This year there were a LOT.  I hired Dan to pick them off and get rid of them.  Even with the piles he pulled off, and the ones I pulled off there were lots and lots left munching on the plants.  Mostly they weren't as bad on the zucchini plant.  It looks good.

This is the surviving Pumpkin plant which is pretty too.

This is a bad picture of the sadly killed pumpkin plants.  The squash bugs won that round!

Unfortunately, with all of our grabbing of squash bugs, we didn't make enough difference to save this one.  I tried spraying evil bug killer (which I have never done) but they kept walking around without being phased.  I figured they had already somehow become radioactive and turned into super villain squash bugs.  Eventually I did a little research and got rid of a lot of them, but I'm sure there are still more in there snacking.  I'm hoping they mostly snack on the dead one and leave the rest alone -- but is that really what a super villain squash bug would do?

God Can Be Found In The Gray Areas

***

I am reading the book Silent Souls Weeping by Jane Clayson Johnson, and I recommend it.  Today I was reading about someone named Kara who struggles with perfectionism and depression.  She said:

"Perfectionists, we deal in the black and white.  There's no gray area.  It's all or nothing.  And that's Satan's plan.  Heavenly Father wants us to live in the gray areas where there's mercy and love, compassion, charity."

Those of us who struggle with perfectionism can feel like we should be able to be perfect right now, but Heavenly Father always knew that we would need a lot of practice.  Growth takes time.  Learning takes time.  I've often had the feeling that surely, if I just think hard enough, I will be able to figure out how to never mess up.  I want to be like the child prodigy who can play the piano perfectly without the hours and hours of practice usually required, except I want to be like that for all of life, and I sometimes have felt like a failure when I couldn't do it.  In these moments, I am forgetting that Heavenly Father did not mean for life to be that way.  It is through our imperfections that we learn and find that God provides help, strength, knowledge, capacity, forgiveness, mercy, and all good things.

The quote above reminded me of a discussion I had years ago with someone who was struggling with his faith.  He said he had always thought things were black and white but that he felt things were more like Billy Joel's song that says, "Shades of gray wherever I go, the more I find out the less that I know."

There are many, many people who struggle with questions, who feel stuck in this gray area where they can't quite see what is right, and what to do or think.  They feel alone, and might even feel ashamed for struggling and having questions.  But it is in that very struggle and working through all of those hard questions with faith that we gain strength, and can eventually find, and come to know God.  In all of life it is in those gray areas, in those daily struggles of life, and in the real challenges we have, that we can best find the God of mercy, love, compassion, and charity.

***Used by permission from churchofjesuschrist.org

Golden Moments: The Gift of A Little Friend

***

Days can be full of all kinds of moments.  Peaceful, hectic, sad, overwhelmed, funny, happy ...  All kinds of moments.  Sunday was no exception, but I was having a few too many moments where I felt sad.  When it was time for church we were running late.  I hate running late.  We had company, which was great, but as soon as the prayer was said and Connor was leaving I announced that I was going with him and left everyone else behind.

Connor had a friend waiting for him and the three of us went in and got a bench to save.  Then, as we were waiting, a little boy who is in Primary (the children's organization at church) saw me and his face lit up.  I love those moments!  And then, to my surprise, he asked his Mom if he could come sit by me.  And he did.  Right next to me.  He snuggled close just as the rest of my family arrived. 

I kept waiting for him to get intimidated by a bunch of people he doesn't know sitting by him, but he didn't.  Honestly, I kept thinking he would look at me and decide he didn't know me either.  I haven't ever taught his class -- but I have been in front of the room, and led the music quite a bit.  He told me about his new sister, and his rocket bike that is red.  He goes to kindergarten this year and I found out that he is really good at finding hymns by their numbers.  He told me his brothers names and could point out another member of his Primary class.  He stayed snuggled up close to me until after the Sacrament and then went to join his family.

These were golden moments for me.  I kept looking around thinking -- does anyone see this?  He came to sit by me!  He chose me!  Could there be a nicer tender mercy than the gift of a little friend?  I have told the Primary children before that they make a difference for good.  I have explained how them smiling at me has often made me feel happy and loved.  Some of them look surprised, but I think that we can all, no matter what our age, create golden moments through kindness!  I am thankful for a little boy who helped me feel noticed and loved and created a much needed golden moment for me.

**Watercolor by Phyllis Luch used by permission from churchofjesuschrist.org

The Cool Kids

During all of my growing up years I never thought of myself as one of the "cool kids", but when you ride in Connor's car he hands you sunglasses and ......

Cool Kids!!!
Me, Trisa, Kayli and Connor looking awesome on our way home from church.
All of this time I only needed a good set of sunglasses! :-)

Cool Kids!
Kayli, Terri (our friend), and Connor looking cool on their way home from work.

Charlie and Emma

This past weekend we had a chance to go up to the Ogden Temple to attend the wedding of our nephew Charlie to Emma.  We love them!

This is Charlie and Emma.  We love them.
We didn't get any pictures of them in their wedding attire.  They looked great!

Connor, Derek and Me on the temple grounds after the wedding
with my Mom and Chris in the background.

My Family(Siblings and Parents)
Brian, Jenny, Dad, Mom, Ray, Me, Tina
It is great to have special occasions because then we get to see each other!

Audrey, Trisa, and Tia
(At the reception)

Cousins:  Audrey, Lauren, Kayli, Maddie, Tia, and Trisa

Most of my kids love cereal, so they were pretty pleased that Charlie and Emma had a cereal bar at their reception.  They also had a "cake" that was beautifully stacked donuts.  The weather was lovely and it is good to celebrate such a happy occasion.

Connor came with Derek and Me.  The girls came up later for the reception.

How Do You Come Up With Things To Say?

My Dad asked me this when he was visiting.  I explained that some days I have a lot to say.  I've found ideas I'm interested in, or have just noticed things I'd like to share.  Sometimes there are things happening with the family that can be shared -- birthdays, weddings, etc.  And then, there are days like today.  I sit and stare at the screen and can't settle on anything.  And then I remembered the reunion when someone asked what you write about in a journal when you can't think of anything -- and I said to write about what you are grateful for.  This isn't exactly a journal, and I just did this the other day, but no day is the same!  So here's a quick list.

I'm thankful that:
**Jake mowed the lawn today so I didn't have to.
**Teddy is really funny when he attacks hoses (though that means he gets tied up so he doesn't tromp on the plants!)
**Derek called me from work and he is kind and thoughtful.
**The squash bugs didn't kill all the pumpkin plants.
**Rain has made the lawn look mostly green again!
**The van is great to drive around.
**Connor and Kayli both checked to see how I was doing during their lunch break.
**Jake and Dan ran right out and helped bring in groceries without being asked!
**We have laundry machines and so I did not have to do laundry by hand today!
**I have so much to be thankful for!

Happy Day!

Memorizing Scripture

Used by permission -- churchofjesuschrist.org

Back in the old days when I was in seminary we had scriptures that we were to memorize if we could.  I am thankful for all of those that I memorized and managed to remember.  I have been thinking lately how I should find a scripture verse for various circumstances and memorize them so that, in that circumstance, I will have a solution, or encouragement, or guidance that I can pull out to help me.  (I seem to talk a lot about memorizing quite a bit lately without actually having done any yet!).  I guess just finding the scriptures would be a good start!

Here are a some scriptures I like:

For hard times, discouragement, or times when inclined to beat oneself up:

Hebrews 4:  15-16:  "For we have not an high priest (Jesus) which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.  Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."

When tempted to be quick to judgment or anger:

James 1:19:"...let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath"

When I just want to do what I want without considering what God wants (and because it makes me smile):

James 1:21:  "Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls." 

When I want to help someone but don't know how:

James 5:16:  "...pray one for another, that ye may be healed.  The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

And finally for any time I need to remember that I am loved, and so is everyone else:

 1 John 4:9"In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him."

I would love to know the scriptures that you pull out in different circumstances to help you!

Grasping For Gratitude

***

I have, on occasion, felt like I was reaching out and trying to grasp gratitude, but it was illusive.  Other times, when I have been very stressed, it has been hard to take my mind away from my worries and into gratitude.  But I firmly believe that finding gratitude, especially in the midst of our hardest times, is a key to perspective, peace, and joy.  I have been taught this lesson over and over through a variety of circumstances.  So here are some things I am grateful for.

This very beautiful world we live in.  This morning as Jake was driving to drivers ed there were streams of sunlight coming out of a hole in the clouds.  It was so beautiful!

Music.  It once again came to my rescue this morning.  It was early, and I knew I wasn't going to sleep more because I was feeling sad, and was worrying over some things.  Then I decided I could sing, and I remembered that I used to sing a song with the line "Let the sunshine in, face it with a grin, smilers never lose and frowners never win".  I sang it so much that my roommate had it memorized.  So, even though it wasn't sunny this morning, I sang it and smiled.

The humor to be found in simple things.  I set an alarm on Alexa this morning and when it went off I said, "Thank you Alexa", which didn't turn the alarm off but did have her talking through the alarm and sounding very thankful for my gratitude!

Hugs.  All of my boys hugged me this morning.  They are such good boys, and so good to their Mom!

Friends.  One sent me a thoughtful text this morning, one picked up Jake when he got out of class early, and there are others out there who smile and are kind when they see me, and that makes a difference!

I am thankful for the fact that there are people who actually read what I write, which I think is sweet! 

I am thankful for all of the encouragers in my life.  I hope you have a lot of them in your life too, and that you can find the strength to find things to be grateful for no matter how hard life gets.

*** I'm also thankful for people who share their beautiful photos for me to use!
Photo by 周 辰曦 on Unsplash

Ride Fearlessly and Triumphantly

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I will smile at the rage of the tempest, and ride fearlessly and triumphantly across the boisterous ocean of circumstance ... and the 'testimony of Jesus' will light up a lamp that will guide my vision                through the portals of immortality."              (Eliza R. Snow)

I found this quote this morning and it describes how I want to be, and what I am trying to be.  Maybe if I say it aloud when I am feeling discouraged, or afraid, or picked on, it will remind me that I can trust my Savior and that no matter how dark it seems in my life at that moment, my testimony of Christ can help guide my thoughts and my actions until the darkness has passed and all is light again!

***Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash (Isn't it beautiful?)

The End of The Home Phone

We have had the same home phone number since 1993 when we moved to Payson.  My parents moved so often that I got more than one call from relatives trying to find out where they were and how they could get in touch with them.  People knew my number would be the same -- and now it isn't.  It was surprisingly stressful for me to cancel that number even though some of the younger generation don't even know what a home phone is, and mostly it was used by telemarketers -- and people who had discovered that they could get in touch with me that way when I forgot to turn the sound on my cell phone -- or had temporarily misplaced it.

So with the home phone cancelled, I needed to send back the box connecting the internet and the phone and the computer.  So I took it apart, and tried to figure out where to plug in things so that the internet would still work.  I could get it working on the main computer but not on anything else.  I was so frustrated.  I took time to eat so I wouldn't cry -- and then called our internet provider.  The nice man was helpful and finally decided to send someone out since he could see that our service wasn't quite as good as it had been originally anyway.

So a different nice man came yesterday, asked to see the router, and said something like, "Oh, this is funny".  He then proceeded to push a button and then said, "It should work now".  And it did.  I just laughed.  I'm sure in all of my turning the router on and off I had accidentally pushed something that shouldn't be pushed!  Anyhow he did get on the roof (with some wasp spray) and re-aim the thing on the roof so it wasn't aiming through a tree and so our service is better now anyway. 

I did realize as I was leaving Dan at home yesterday that he had no way to call anyone when he is home alone -- so now one of my old cell phones is being used as a tracfone with enough paid minutes to get him help if he ever needs it.  It's still cheaper than having a home phone -- but I still mourn the loss of something that has been a constant in our lives for so long.

***Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Transformation

Our kitchenette, that we had for years and years, flooded a year and a half ago and has now been transformed into a library.  I scrolled through years of pictures this morning but didn't find a single one of the kitchenette.  It seems like we never held special occasions there and so it wasn't photographed much.  It is really hard to actually show a transformation when you can't find the before picture!  I know I took some when we were ripping out the moldy cabinets and the old floor, but those are missing too.  Sad!  I guess there is no looking back!  Here is the library.  With all of the craziness of life, it took a long time to finish, but it looks great!  Derek and Jake did the majority of the work.  I did the painting.

The library with it's twin bed sized reading nook.  We bought some pillows and the zebra one was donated by Tia.  There are lights on either side of the reading nook, or you can turn on the bright one like is shown here.

Dan posing for me.  He looks surprisingly like Jake in this one!

I started loading books yesterday.  I'm not done.  I have to figure out which books go on which bookcases!
You can see the floor a little here.  It matches the wall at the back of the reading nook.

Just one more view.  We love our library!  

Our kitchenette was used almost exclusively to store things.  The library has a hidden storage compartment under the mattress, but will be used for reading.  I think it will get a lot more than the kitchenette did.  So, while it was only changed because of a stealthy leak in the sink, I think it is a really good transformation!