The Rules of Words

You can tell by looking at these two pictures, taken in my office,
that I like words.  And maybe also by the fact that I write a lot:-)

This letter board was a gift from Connor and Amanda

I am taking a 12 week class with my friend Shannon and today I listened to the video introducing the Rules of Words.  I like words -- at least a lot of words.  The rules of words are rules to help us talk to ourselves more positively -- in a way that keeps us moving forward instead of staying stuck.

Rule #1:  First Person:  I can only change me and so there is no use talking about how someone else "should" change.

Rule #2:  Present Tense:  I am -- not I want to be.  There was some lesson on how the brain works and if we put what we think into future tense, after a while our brain ignores it because it isn't relevant right this minute.  (I've given my own thoughts on I am statements before.  Since I AM is what God called himself, it is best if we only put good qualities after those words, and that will help us become more like Him.)

Rule #3:  Claim what you want:  "I treat everyone with kindness."  "I treat myself with compassion."  "I am great at learning new things!"

Rule #4:  Remove Trigger words:  This was an interesting exercise where the teacher listed words (rather speedily I might add) and if the word made us have a good feeling we put it in the "power word" column.  If we had a negative feeling show up with a word, we put it in the trigger word column.  If there was no feeling or we were waffling, we didn't put it in a column.  

The instructor had a negative reaction to "balanced".  She realized that people always ask her how she balances it all -- and she feels like she doesn't, and she doesn't know how to respond.  She looked up synonyms and came up with the word "harmony" to use in the place of balance.  There are ebbs and flows, crescendos and decrescendos, various speeds, holds and rests, and that fits the way she likes to think of the way she handles life.

Another of my instructors is triggered by the word "goals" and so he uses different words to describe what might usually be described as goals.  

Some of my trigger words were:  perfect, qualified, reasonable, and successful.  I don't think I'm overly triggered by any of the words listed

Rule #5:  Add Power Words:  This exercise was really up my alley since I have a list of words that I like to think about in my book of lists.  We were supposed to pick our top five power words, and then if they stop serving us, we choose different ones.   Our top five are to be written every morning in a sentence.  Mine is, "I am resourceful, encouraging, inclusive, optimistic, and vibrant -- though I'm still waffling a tad on that last one.  I guess the question I ask myself is, "Can someone who is often low in energy be vibrant?"  I am going with yes because, well because I want to!