Making Up Stories

The stories we tell ourselves can have a lot of power.

When I try to call someone and they don't answer, or the phone is busy, I often like to make up a story about why they aren't answering or who they are talking to.  I like to guess!  This can be harmless depending on the story I tell myself.

In my journal I wrote that "I need to teach myself NOT to make up stories about why things happen -- because I far too often believe my fiction as fact!"  Now, if I tell myself someone isn't answering my call because they are driving, there really isn't any harm done.  On the other hand, if the story I tell myself is that they aren't answering because they saw it was me and didn't want to talk to me, I can start feeling unloved and unwanted even though the story I told myself wasn't true!

Other stories that can be harmful are the ones we tell ourselves that have us being responsible for the thoughts and feelings someone else has, or the actions they take and the words they say, when we really do NOT have that much power.  I do this most often with my children.  Unfortunately, taking the blame for something that I had no choice in doesn't really end up helping, it just leaves me feeling like a failure.

I still like to make up stories, but now, when I make up stories about why things happen, or why someone does or says something, I try to make up a story that is as happy for me, and as kind to others as I can because my brain will take the stories I tell myself, and have me feeling they are true.

*Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash