Halloween and The Bat Cave

I am not a huge fan of decorating for Halloween.  Something about spiders and other creepy creatures just doesn't give the house that homey feel I'm going for.  So, for my birthday I spent a chunk of time doing what?  Decorating for Halloween!  And fall. 

Several years ago I came up with the idea of decorating the entry as The Bat Cave since a lot of my family like to claim that they are Batman.

The "real" Bat Cave entrance is hidden but I wasn't going for "real" and I just think it's funny, kind of like in Megamind when Minion puts a welcome mat at the entrance of the secret lair so that he can find it.  I figure we spend our time in the "Batcave" getting ready to go out and fight evil or stand for the right.

The inside of the door is also decorated. I rather enjoy the times that my boys have given a hearty "To the rescue!" as they go out the door.

Then there are the bats.  They are toasting over the fireplace -- hopefully not melting.

Happy Birthday to Me -- and My Friend Linda :-)

Cheerful flowers from Derek

One of my college roommates and I share a birthday -- September 28th.  That has been a really good thing for me over the years because she has been so good at remembering, and wishing me a happy day with nice notes or texts.  I was going to be the first one to send a message yesterday, and then I got distracted and she texted me first!  Yay for faithful, kind friends.

Lovely flowers from Derek's parents

I like my birthdays.  Probably because my family and friends tend to spoil me.  What is not to like about a day when people continuously are sending good wishes, and kind words?  And I get presents!  And someone else makes dinner!  And I get to hear from all of my children!  Occasionally people stop by, or call, and I can choose what I want to do.
So yesterday was a great day all around and there are still a few birthday activities ahead of me!

More beautiful flowers from
my friend Carrie who stopped by.

Derek holding my muffin with some ....
Trick candles!
And I'm wearing the jeans and sweater
he bought me.

One of the many times I blew the candles out.

Thanks to my wonderful friends and family who made this birthday a happy one by showing me love in lots of different ways (time, gifts, notes, cooking, a pie, etc.)  I am very thankful for all of you.

With An Eye Of Faith

***

When I was a child I tried to walk on water.

But walking on water was impossible for me.

So how do I know that Jesus walked on water?

And that He has the power to calm the raging sea?

With an eye of faith I can believe and understand

That if He were calling to me

I could walk to Him, and if I sank, 

He would save me from the sea.

How do I know that He is the creator?

How can I know he healed the lame and made the blind to see?

And how as the world seems now so full of darkness,

Can I believe in a light so strong it can light the way for me?

With an eye of faith I can imagine and believe

That Jesus made a butterfly for me;

Creating gentle winds and majestic mountains

And giving me light to see.

How in a world with many, many voices

Shouting about how they think that things should be

Can I hear the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit

Gently speaking of a Savior who came to rescue me?

With an eye of faith I can see Christ on the water

Walking through the waves to-wards me

And though the wind is raging all around

I can hear His voice calming me.

When I was a child I tried to walk on water.

And walking on water was impossible to me.

But now I know that Jesus walked on water

And with an eye of faith His power comes to me.

by Sherie

Picture by Robert T. Barrett. Used by permission from churchofjesuschrist.org
***I started this the last day of August and finished it the first week of September.
It has a melody which one day I will record :-)

Giving Valentines Any Day

***

I know a lot of people who do not like Valentine's Day.  They dread it.  If they are single they may think it is a day to point out that they don't have a "Valentine".  They watch others getting gifts (which might be being given more out of obligation than desire), and feel cheated, or passed over, or unloved, or hopeless.  It is sad.  I also know people who are grumpy at the obligation they feel to give a gift, or plan an activity for that day.  It maybe feels forced, and it seems to many that women benefit a lot more than men.

It would be good to keep in mind that no holiday (that I know of) was created, or is kept to make someone feel bad, or grumpy.  They are usually in place to help us remember something or someone important.  And there is more than one definition for a Valentine.  One, from the Mirriam-Webster dictionary is "something expressing uncritical praise or affection."  We can give uncritical praise and affection any day.

I think trying to give as much uncritical praise and affection as I can on Valentine's day sounds like a happy way to spend the day.  And I like that I have lots of days before Valentine's Day to practice!

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

Three Things I Like About Doing Laundry

I took this picture on Tuesday.
It's a lot better than sometimes!

Most Mondays, if you were to show up in the morning or early afternoon, you would find me doing laundry.  Piles and piles of laundry.  Here's what I like about doing laundry.

1.  On laundry day, after I sort the clothes into their baskets, I can actually walk into the laundry room without tripping on anything!  It's the one time during the week that I can probably close the door without shoving some baskets out of the way, and when I walk in, I don't have to traipse through empty baskets (or move them) to get what I want!

2.  I have always liked the sound of laundry machines.  Particularly dryers.  I find it soothing.  And dryers are warm.  I like warm.

3.  I have learned to either pile all the clean clothes up when they are dry and then put in something I want to watch while I fold, or I fold it a basket at a time in my room, and listen to something I want to listen to.  It gives me something to look forward to!

Trying to Eat Better -- Again

If someone put this out for me every day I'd eat a lot more salad!
***

Yesterday I was trying to come up with a system for planning meals that is easy, and I thought of one!  And then, I realized that I had thought of it before, and even used it for a while.  Alas, I've had a few "systems" and they work for a while, and then I just don't want to.  I get too tired, or the food doesn't sound like what I want that day, or whatever.

What brought on my sudden desire to eat better?  Two things really.  First, Dan eats way too much "circle chicken" and the Jake and Derek and I eat eggs or sandwiches a lot.  We could use some more variety. Second, Dan has second lunch at school which starts at 12:25 p.m.  That is about 6 hours after Dan has breakfast and he burns up his not very healthy breakfast really fast, and is left a bit light headed or dizzy before lunch arrives -- even with fruit snacks in between classes. 

Besides all of that, I think we would have less colds and asthma trouble at our house if we ate better.  So, here's to trying to eat better.  Again.

***Photo by Dan Gold on Unsplash

Puppets Giving Cheerfully

Sunday in Primary (the organization for children) we mostly sang, but I did take ten minutes to teach the children that "God loveth a cheerful giver."  This was one of those times when they learned by watching puppets.  Princess, the Baker and Bright (the cheerleader) gave some examples.  The children and the adults pay really good attention when the puppets visit, and there is a lot of giggling, but hopefully at least a little learning too.

For one scenario the Princess was selfish with her toys.  In the next example she was happy to share and the two puppets played together instead of fighting.  Naturally, the kids found it obvious when the Princess was being a cheerful giver and when she wasn't.  They easily knew she was having more fun when she was sharing. 

My favorite though was when the baker really needed help stirring things because he couldn't stir all of the bowls at once.  I asked all of the kids to say no when he asked them for help.  Hee hee.  They wanted to help so badly that some of them just couldn't do it.  If only it was as easy for them to share with siblings and help parents as it is for them to help the puppets!  I imagine they do pretty well though.  They are good little people!  They do enjoy it when the puppets are naughty the most, but hopefully they act more like the cheerfully giving puppets!

Intentional Possibilities

Teddy was looking for treats among the balls because of a game
Kayli played with him.  (He was intentionally looking because of the possibility of a treat :-)

I love the word intentional almost as much as I love the word possibilities.  I love the word possibilities because, when I feel stuck, it is helpful for me to know and believe that there are possibilities.  Things that will help me get unstuck.  I might not know what those possibilities are, but if I believe there are some, it makes a difference and makes them easier to find.

I love the word intentional because I like the idea of intentional living.  Of being careful to notice if I'm falling into bad patterns, and if I do get to feeling stuck, intentionally looking for the possible ideas or actions that will help me, and intentionally ordering my life in the healthiest, happiest way I know how.

These things aren't necessarily easy, but the word possibilities reminds me that there are options, and the word intentional reminds me that I have a lot of control over my life, and what I choose to do with it.

A Concert In The Park

***

I meant to take pictures, but I mean to do a lot of things and they don't always happen!  Yesterday was the Harvest Moon Hurrah in Spanish Fork and so the orchestra I am in went to play 3 numbers.  We got there early and, much to my delight, the Spanish Fork community choir was singing and my brother-in-law Russell was in the group.  Not only that, but for one song, he got to do a solo where he was dressed as the Greatest Showman and he had a microphone and was out singing among the crowd.  I think he is brave because that would scare me, but I imagine that, even with his excellent singing skills, he was nervous too.  But he did it!  I don't think we always have to do things that are hard for us, but I think it is good to push ourselves out of our comfort zone every now and then because I believe it helps us grow.

When it was our turn we played our first two numbers fine, but then we started the third number, and we were NOT together.  Our conductor stopped us, and said, "Let's try that again".  We played it well that time, and I think it is good for people to see that everyone goofs up now and then, and it is okay to start again.  And, if we couldn't have started again, then it would have been okay to do our best, even if it didn't turn out like we hoped.  We can't expect to be perfect every time.

It was a beautiful, chilly day in the park.  My sister-in-law Erin found me before the orchestra went on and gave me a hug.  I got to talk to some of her kids.  When we got done playing Erin and her kids were standing in a group cheering for me.  Having people be happy to see me, and supportive of my efforts no matter how imperfect, makes me happy and I am thankful they stayed to listen.

***Photo by Sergiu Vălenaș on Unsplash

Compulsive Asking

Have you ever prayed and felt like you spent the whole time begging God to help in some way, or solve some problem, or .....???  I know that it is okay to ask God for help, but sometimes I feel like I do it without really thinking.  I don't take the time to think of how I want Him to help.  I may have a whole list of who I want Him to help, but what exactly is it I hope He will do? 

I do chuckle to myself sometimes about how many times we pray for safety "on the way home".  I think we are worried about crashing a lot!  Or physical pain.  But the help we really need is the help that will get us to our heavenly home! Still, when we pray for safety, do we follow it up with a prayer of gratitude upon arriving safely?

Sometimes we even say prayers asking God to help us know how we can help someone, which I think is great.  But if I never think of that person the whole day, and contemplate on my own how I can help, is an idea really going to come?

I am supposing this is why people keep prayer journals.  To think of who needs their prayers, and what a good prayer for them might be.  And to write down when answers come, so that they can remember and be grateful.  Taking the time to be grateful to God before we ask for something is helpful, but I really want to work on being more deliberate and less compulsive in my asking!

CALM

Clouds on the mountains behind my neighbor's houses.

In the book Anxious For Nothing Max Lucado has an acronym that is meant to help us remember how to live with less anxiety.

Celebrate God's Goodness
Ask God for help
Leave concerns with Him
Meditate on good things

 In Philippians 4:4 it says, "Rejoice in the Lord always:  and again I say Rejoice."  This is where the idea of celebrating God's goodness came from, and I like the question asked in the book.  "How will you express your joy for God's goodness today." 

In order to express my joy in God's goodness, I have to take the time to think about the fact that He is good!  This morning is a gray, rainy, chilly morning -- and I love sunshine.  But I also love the gray clouds that sit on top of the mountains hiding the peaks.  I like that God watered my garden this morning and so I don't have to.  The air is chilly, but it is fresh, and smells good.  There are many ways that God is good, and so there is plenty to celebrate if I focus on those things!

Plum Lack of Motivation

Our plum tree was very motivated to make plums!

I was semi motivated and made some plum leather, and dried plums, and Jake got some ready for freezing.

I have a plum lack of motivation to finish these -- though I plan on giving it a go.
But the ones on the tree are up for grabs if you live close by.
Bring your own bag or bucket.
Maybe warn me so Teddy won't be outside to bark at you.
He sounds scary when he barks.

Grateful For Growing Boys

Dan and Jake and Me

I am feeling sleepy, but I was thinking how much worse it would be if I didn't have boys that get up on their own and get ready for school.  I show up in the last five minutes before they have to leave to catch the bus to see them off.  I am SO grateful for that extra 45 minutes of sleep!  Yay for boys who are doing a good job of taking responsibility for themselves!

Resilience

***

This morning during physical therapy the therapist asked me what ideas I have about teaching kids to be resilient.  Mostly I could think of what I have learned (mostly) not to do.  Don't speak for the children.  Don't take over things they should be responsible for.  Don't do all the work myself.  I think these are important, but I also think there are things that are important that hopefully I've been better at.  Do create a home where your children feel safe and loved.  Do help them be grateful.  And, do help them learn that they can do things that will lift and help those having struggles.

Life is tricky, and I always want to help my children, but if I always bail them out of difficult situations I will rob them of learning experiences that give them stories to laugh about later, and that help them know they can do hard things.

***Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Monday Morning Gratitude List

Some of my fake flowers :-)

1.  Blankets and pillows
2.  The song "Morning Has Broken" that I like to listen to in the mornings.
3.  Hugs
4.  Cereal and milk
5.  Washing machines to do the hard work of getting the clothes clean.
6.  The sun peeking up from behind the mountains.
7.  Jackets to help me stay warm.
8.  Flowers -- even the fake ones
9.  The couch recliner and my chromebook so I can type in comfort :-)
10.  Kayli's dog Teddy who comes to sit by me every morning.
11.  Morning family prayer to start the day remembering our blessings and who is watching over us.

What I Might Be

***

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."

Lao Tzu

Have you ever held on to some characteristic of yours as if it defines you? I was thinking of Mrs. Lynde in "Anne of Green Gables"  who was "known around these parts as someone who speaks her mind."  She loved speaking her mind, even if her opinion was unkind or inaccurate.  She felt she was right in her opinions and it was "ok" to tell everyone bluntly what she thought because that was just how she was.  But what if she had let go of being that person, and chose to be someone who only speaks kindness?  She would have done more good and it would have made her less lonely!  Since Mrs. Lyne was a fictional character though, I am glad she was written as she was because it made the story more interesting!

***Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

The Characteristics of An Elephant -- And A Friend

The other day I came home to find this elephant waiting for me and taking care of some jelly.  A friend brought me both.  This is the same friend who brought me my big elephant.  In the note she sent with my first elephant she said that elephants have been associated with loyalty, patience, and wisdom and that surely the big ears are good for listening.

On africageographic.com they say that elephants have at least five traits in common with people: family bonds, empathy, mischief, communication, and mourning.

My elephants aren't really alive, but my big one is really good to hug, which gives me comfort, and my little one make me smile, which adds happiness to my days.  Both of them communicate the kindness of a friend and her care for me.  She is good at being loyal, patient and wise, and is good at listening.  Family bonds are important to her, she is empathetic, can be mischievous (can't we all?), is good at communication, and no doubt, as a human, has people to mourn over and with.  I am thankful for my elephants.  I am even more thankful for my friend.

Too Little or Too Much?

I got on the treadmill today (Tuesday).  Yay me!  I planned on walking 20 minutes.  I haven't done even that much in a while.  And then I thought, "Maybe I can do 30.  I should do 30".  And then my hurt leg started to ache and I thought, "Is this good or bad?  Is it really aching or am I just paying too much attention to it?"  And then, after 10 minutes, I got off.  So, was that too little?  Or too much?

I think perhaps that I spend way too much time trying to decide if I have done too little of something, or too much.  I got off.  So, at least in the moment, I thought maybe that was enough for today.  Worrying over whether it is too little or two much isn't really making my day any better.  I have plenty to do.  I went outside and watered plants and played with the dog and picked the vegetables.  I am showered and clean, and ready for the activities of the day.

So too little?  Or too much?
Let's go with enough!

Photo by Allie Smith on Unsplash

Never A Burden

***

Correction:  The Broken Rake story was told by Ganel-Lyn Condie, not Julie de Azevedo Hanks (like I wrote originally).  Julie does do a lot of work to help people who are dealing with depression, but it is Ganel-Lyn's experience I shared.

If you would like to hear Ganel-Lyn Condie speak about the suicide of her sister and her desire to let everyone know that they can be very broken and still not be a burden, you can click here.  I cried my way through it.  You've been warned.

While I was listening to her I was remembering Derek's voice telling me that I am not a burden.  On hard days when I feel really depressed, and am way too focused on my imperfections (both physical and otherwise), I have had those words come back to me, and it has lifted a weight that I didn't know I carried.  Nobody wants to feel like they are so much trouble that it outweighs their value.  So I add my voice to Ganel-Lyn Condie's voice.  No matter how broken you are, and how much of a burden you feel you are to others -- you are NOT a burden.  That is your depression speaking.  You are a blessing, and God can mend broken things!

Hope is never lost.  Healing is possible.  Please stay and let us love you.

***Photo by Colter Olmstead on Unsplash

The Days Our Country Was United

On September 11, 2001 I got a phone call from my Mom.  She was upset and wanted me to turn on the news.  That was the beginning of a very bad day.  I watched the twin towers fall over, and over, and over again.  I cried and cried and cried.  How could anyone think that something so awful was the right thing to do?  Over the next few weeks, as I would drive around, I would see our country's flag and get teary eyed all over again. 

During the day the towers fell and for a little while after our country was as united as I remember seeing it.  We were united in gratitude for the sacrifices and bravery of first responders, and the generosity and helpfulness of strangers wanting to lift burdens.  We were united against an enemy that would create chaos, death, and destruction and get pleasure from it.  Even, for a while, many people seemed to remember that there is a God, and that we could pray to him for comfort, help, and mercy. 

9-11 was a terrible day, but in looking back, I hope we can remember that everyone in this wonderful country of ours has a reason to be united, and that our country is much more powerful when we unite our strengths instead of focusing on our differences.

The Broken Rake

***

I was listening to Ganel-Lyn Condie this morning.  She was talking about how she and her family had just moved in to a new house when her sister committed suicide.  I'm sure it was a very difficult time, but with a new house, Ganel-Lyn and her family still had a yard to put in, and so they spent a lot of time raking.  During all of the work, one of the rakes broke.  It was still useful, but obviously broken.  As she thought about that rake she decided to hang it in her house.

It took a couple of days for her family to notice (I'm not sure where it was hanging).  When they did, they wanted to know why she had hung up a broken rake.  She said that it was to remind them that it needed to be okay in their family to have a broken part.  To be broken.  That everyone needed to know that, even broken, they were useful.

I've mentioned before that we are all broken in some way.  Some of us may be more obviously broken than others, but everyone is broken.  I liked this story and the reminder that, even broken we are useful.  Even if we aren't as useful as we want to be -- we still can make a difference for good!

***Photo by Tom Byrom on Unsplash

Fun Photos

Jake's screen saver.  Teddy the Bat-dog.
Do you wonder if he can see?  Somehow he sees past that fur!

Dan's birthday -- Dan is holding his birthday rootbeer

Dan's noise cancelling headphones.  He was glad to have them before the parade!

This is Teddy "helping" me do my physical therapy stretches.

Silly doggy!!
(These 2 pictures were by Dan)

Dan and the "best movie ever".  Detective Pikachu
(This and all but the last 2 pictures were by Jake)

The Hard Life of A Control Freak

The winds and the waves shall obey (God's) will.  Peace, be still.
(Master The Tempest is Raging)

Have you ever tried to control everything?  I know I have.  I will make a schedule, and try to rigidly stick to it while having a list of rules that I desperately try to keep all of the time.  I've tried to control how my children handle their challenges, how clean they keep their room, and when they turn in their homework.  In Max Lucado's book Anxious for Nothing he says "...the most stressed-out people are control freaks."  Why? because "Life becomes a cycle of anxiety, failure; anxiety, failure; anxiety, failure."

But aren't we supposed to have control?  Well yes.  And no.  I can make a schedule.  It can be a smart, awesome schedule, but I can't completely control how things turn out, no matter how hard I try.  I might get sick, the car might break down, and someone might need my help right at the time I have something else scheduled!  I can decide to follow every good rule, but what about the times that I get angry, when my rule was to never do that?  People I know may have challenges.  I can do all in my power to solve those problems for them, but they have agency, and in the end they have the power to accept, reject, or ignore whatever help I give.

We can control what we do, or at least we can try, but we can't control the outcome because we can't control the weather, other people, animals, our health, etc.  We can affect those things -- but not control them.  So what do we do?  We trust God.  He is aware of me and my inability to do everything perfectly.  He is aware of everyone who needs help.  We might look around and think He is not doing His job well, but when we think that we are being a bit like a 2 year old who tells their parent "No, I do it myself" when doing it themselves would be disastrous!

Anxiety passes as trust in God increases.  With His help, we can give up the hard life of a control freak.

***Photo by Leo Roomets on Unsplash

Keep Your Power

***

Sometimes things happen to us, and we feel powerless.  There seems to be nothing we can do.  We feel sorry for ourselves.  We feel angry at whoever is, or could be responsible.  We feel stuck.  What do we do?

I was talking to one of my sisters-in-law yesterday about how, in difficult circumstances, it is helpful to remember that we are not powerless.  She has been in a lot of pain, and had the thought that she should make it go away.  Well, she has a very real physical problem that causes pain.  She needs medical help that has been slow in coming.  But, she also realized that she could research and find things to relieve the pain.  Even the most difficult challenges are made better when we realize that we have the power to change our circumstances for the better. 

A long time ago in a circumstance that was challenging for me I learned to "Make a plan.  Work the plan."  I read, or ask people questions to get ideas that can help me plan what to do, and I make a plan even if I don't know exactly what the "right" thing is.  No matter what the circumstance, there is always something I can try!

Naturally, sometimes I fail to notice that I am stuck and wallowing instead of stuck and trying to climb out of it.  Sometimes I make a plan, work the plan, and not much changes. But I can make a new plan!  Blaming other people, or illness, or anything else for our problems and pain gives those things power over our happiness.  Blame is not helpful.  I have been amazed on more than one occasion when I realized that owning a problem as mine made it seem lighter, because if it is my problem, then I have the power to change it!

***Photo by Patrick Brinksma on Unsplash
I didn't want to spend a long time looking for the right picture.  The eagle looks determined and powerful so I just ran with that!

Small Acts of Kindness to Surroundings and Self

Yesterday I found something I had ripped out of a magazine and I read it to see why I had kept it.  It was a little essay written by Elizabeth Graves, the editor of Martha Stewart Living, about a hard time in her life.  She was 16 and her Dad had passed away.  Things that had seemed important before suddenly felt frivolous.  She talked about the things that comforted her, and brought joy and laughter into her life again.  Her conclusion was this:  "...small acts of kindness to yourself and your surroundings can have a big impact on your happiness, and it doesn't matter where you're starting from:  The direction is always up."

I guess I hadn't thought of the idea that some of the things we do are "kindness to our surroundings".  I suppose weeding the garden is kindness to the garden plants, and picking up clutter could be considered a kindness to the things we have deliberately used to decorate, because they can be noticed again.  Planting cheerful flowers can be a kindness to those who live around us who now have something cheerful to look at as they go by, and restoring something that is worn can kindly make it useful again.

And what about "acts of kindness to yourself"?  Is it really okay to be kind to ourselves?  Yes!  It is an act of kindness to ourselves when we take the time to eat well.  It is kindness when we rest when we are worn out.  It is kind when we allow ourselves to develop our talents, and when we take time to create things of beauty that we enjoy.  It is kindness to ourselves when we realize that the mistake we just made doesn't make us worthless, and when we allow ourselves to move on, and try again.  It is kindness when we speak to ourselves as sweetly as we would to those we love.  Acts of kindness to ourselves give us a greater ability to give acts of kindness to others.

Acts of kindness to our surroundings and ourselves truly can have a big impact on our happiness, and on the happiness of those around us.
***Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

What Do You Believe?

I believe the sun comes up every day, even when it is covered by clouds and we can't see it.
I believe that Jesus loves us, even on days when the problems of life seem so hard that we can't feel it.
I believe that being loved and loving can change the world -- my world, and yours.

I read a book once that suggested that when you are feeling down you ask yourself, "What am I believing right now?"  I have done this before and realized I was currently believing things that weren't true.  I just finished another book called Anxious For Nothing by Max Lucado.  He says "To change the way a person responds to life, change what a person believes about life."

What do you believe about life?  What do I?  Is it true?  In a world that is full of hard things, do we start to believe that life is impossibly miserable and pointless?  Or do we trust that God has a good plan, and notice that there are still people who are kind and loving?  Do we see how beautiful nature is?  There are weeds, and thistles, but there are also flowers, and butterflies!  There is disease, and misery and death, but there is also hope, and resilience, and life!

While I don't believe it is always easy to do (or I wouldn't spend so much time believing negative things about myself), we do get to choose what we believe.  In moments of exhaustion, or when people aren't treating us well, or when we see piles of problems, it would be good to stop and remember that God hasn't forgotten us, that life can get better, that other people do not decide our worth, and that problems, if handled with as much faith as we are able to muster, can make us stronger, kinder, and more compassionate people.

**Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash